Helping Children Cope With Divorce

Not surprisingly, a divorce has significant consequences for children.  This site is devoted to helping parents deal with the ramifications of divorce.  It is not an option to, "stay together for the kids."  This kind of thinking only ends up hurting your children in the long run.  But we can do everything in our power to lessen the traumatic impact a divorce has on our kids.  Although many children go through their parents divorce with relatively few negative or permanent side effects, a divorce can be devastating for some children.  The changes in living arrangements, less time with one parent, etc, can be a harsh experience for some.  Based upon my experience, the best thing a parent can do to limit the negative impact a divorce has on their children is to act civilly towards your ex.  Some good rules of thumb are as follows:

  • Do not argue in front of your kids in person or on the phone
  • Actively pursue an amicable relationship with your ex
  • Try not to bad mouth your ex in front of the kids
  • Find support for you and your children
  • Try to maintain your child's regular routine

 

Children and Divorce

Sometimes divorce is a necessary means to achieving a happier life.  While we provide services that enable you to start a new life, we also try to acclimate you and your children to these changes. My practice attempts to minimize the impact a divorce has on you, and your children. You can find valuable resources about dealing with your children at childrenanddivorce.com that may aid your child during a divorce.

Parenting During Divorce

It seems that every year more and more parents ask me for advice regarding how to address the issue of divorce with their children.  Several factors must be considered, including the child's age, functional ability, personal strengths and weaknesses.  The first year after divorce is the most difficult because a great deal of what was once considered, "normal life" is changing for your children.  It is stressful on parents, but the negative effects on children can be buffered with smart parenting.  Get with your spouse and set some basic ground rules.   Rule number one,  Never argue with, or degrade your ex in front of the kids.  The best protection that you can provide for your child during your divorce is your own personal love and attention, combined with smart parenting tactics that have your child's social/emotional health at the forefront.  Two great articles addressing divorce with children www.nasponline.org/resources/parenting/divorce_ho.aspx , and divorce in blended families http://apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=41 , are recommended readings. 

Books for kids: 

"Was It the Chocolate Pudding?" A Story for Little Kids About Divorce by Sandra Levins (ages 2-6)

"I Don't Want to Talk About It":  A Story About Divorce for Young Children by Jeanie Franz Ransom

Ginny Morris and Mom's House, Dad's House by Mary Collins Gallagher

My Parents are Divorced Too:  A Book for Kids by Kids, Second Edition Melanie, Annie & Steven Ford as told to Jan Blackstone Ford

"What Can I Do?"  A Book for Children of Divorce by Danielle Lowry