Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

Let’s assume that you’re embroiled in a divorce action with your soon-to-be former spouse, who initiated the case. Whether you live in Montgomery, Dothan, Decatur, or Auburn, or anywhere in Alabama, divorce is an emotional and heart-wrenching process especially when one party doesn’t see it coming. Add children into the equation and you have potential for one of the saddest and demoralizing episodes in your life.

Being a family law and divorce attorney practicing in the Birmingham area, I have represented many clients who found themselves in the throes of a painful divorce proceeding. Part of my job is to try and make the process as easy and straightforward as possible while attempting to provide some comfort and guidance to my clients. In some instances a spouse may be so upset that they literally want to stop the divorce in its tracks.

But is this actually possible or even advisable? It’s easy to say, “I want to stop this here and now.” In reality, it’s a different story entirely here in Alabama. The sad truth is that once one spouse is committed to getting a divorce, there is no way the other party can turn it off. Short of convincing your soon-to-be-former partner to pull the plug, that’s just the way Alabama divorce law is written.

In Alabama, if one of spouse insists on a divorce, that individual is going to get his or her way no matter what. And while you and your attorney can make the divorce process take longer, you can’t stop it. As they say in the halls of divorce court, it may take two to get married, but it only takes one to get divorced.

On the topic of reconciliation, you certainly can appeal to the other party to try and make the marriage work, but most divorce actions are an indication that the marital union is probably broken and no amount of energy is going to fix it.

If you know in your heart of hearts that your marriage was on its last legs when your spouse initiated the divorce, then it may be wise to follow their lead and make the best of a bad situation. This is where a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney can really help.

If you insist on making it work, it’s a good idea to bring in a third party who is not emotionally torn between either spouse. Schedule some sessions with a qualified marriage counselor or church pastor. If both parties are committed to making the marriage work, then these professionals can perhaps help you toward making things work better.

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How much information is too much information? Going through a divorce in Alabama can be a difficult journey. Regardless of whether you live in Mobile, Birmingham, Huntsville or any of the hundreds of cities and towns across the state, the subject of divorce or legal separation can be a minefield. Spouses who are splitting up have a hard enough time discussing details with family and friends, but what of the children? How much should you share with them, if anything?

As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney practicing throughout Alabama, I have seen it all when it comes to separation and divorce. I feel the heartbreak and sense the hard feelings that can arise during this kind of life-changing event. But my knowledge and years of experience have given me the tools to help my clients make it through one of the toughest times of their life.

For sure, one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is the effect it can have on children. Divorce can be extremely trying especially where kids are involved. In many instances, my clients confide in me by asking how they should break the news to their children. Quite often, they don’t even know how they should act or behave toward their kids once a divorce has been finalized.

Of course, it can be difficult to take your children’s needs into account during the process of a divorce in Alabama. There are many and varied aspects to the process including Spousal support, division of assets, and guardianship.

If you are considering divorce, or know someone who is going through or contemplating such an action, you may want to keep the following items in mind regarding the younger members of the household. Children need and have the right to the following, especially in times of family upheaval:

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One of the biggest concerns among parents going through a divorce is the law’s affect on the custody of the children. In this respect, couples without kids have less to worry about, but having a qualified family law and divorce attorney at your side is the first step toward a better outcome. Here in Birmingham, and across Alabama as well, the courts have a great deal of discretion when it comes to child custody cases.

In any custody proceeding, the child or children in question become wards of the court, and as such the court is entirely concerned with any issues affecting those children. For example, in Ex parte Divine, the Alabama Supreme Court listed a dozen factors that must be considered when deciding upon the best interests of a child during a custody proceeding. These include:

• Sex and age(s) of the child or children
• Emotional, social, moral, material and educational needs of each child
• Type of home environment offered by each parent
• Each parent’s age, character, stability, and mental and physical health
• The individual parent’s capacity and interest in providing for the emotional, social, etc., needs of child or children
• Relationship between each child and each parent
• Relationship between the children themselves
• Effect on the children that disrupting, or continuing, an existing custodial arrangement would possibly cause
• Any preference(s) of child or children, assuming they are of sufficient age and maturity
• Recommendations of experts
• Any available alternatives
• Any relevant matters

Understand that past performance is often quite crucial in the court’s determination as to custody of a child. However, a spouse's prior performance may not be an accurate portrait of their future performance once the realities of a divorce become known. For example, a spouse who used to work at home taking care of the kids may not be able to stay home full-time once the divorce is final. This happens frequently as the financial situation of one of the two parents usually changes substantially after the divorce. The same can be said for his or her time constraints and other realities, which may have changed as well.

Because of this, the court has ultimate power in determining the custody situation with each child during the proceedings. This is just one more reason why my firm advocates divorce mediation and collaborative legal processes whenever possible. Parents should be the ones determining your child's best interests, not the courts.

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Alabama is a state that recognizes legal separation. As a Birmingham divorce attorney, a certain percentage of my clients typically ask about this option as an alternative to divorce. Legal separation, which is sometimes referred to as "judicial separation," "separate maintenance" or "divorce a mensa et thoro" (translation: "divorce from bed-and-board"), is way in which a married couple may legally formalize what can be a de facto separation while at the same time remaining legally married.

People choose legal separation for a number of reasons, but it usually is done if there is still some hope of saving the marriage, or if one or both of the parties (or even their families) have a moral or religious objection to divorce.

For the state of Alabama to recognize a legal separation, the parties shall enter a decree of legal separation if all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met
2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart
3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with Rule 32 of the Alabama Rules of Judicial Administration

As implied above, a legal separation does not necessarily lead to a divorce. It does leave the door open to reconciliation, in which case the parties usually need not do anything more, as they are still legally married. If, however, the couple does not manage to find common ground, they may then wish to go through with a divorce, which must be filed for explicitly.

As an Alabama family law and divorce lawyer, I have handled many legal separations as well as helped cleints through divorces. The law can many times be complex and confusing. A qualified legal professional with experience in family law can be a great help when guiding people through the legal process during what can be a truly difficult and emotional time.

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The Alabama Court of Civil Appeals recently ruled that a prenuptial agreement signed by future husband and wife-to-be one day before their wedding is valid and fully enforceable. Live and learn would be the motto related to this latest court ruling, since the document protected the groom’s millions, while the bride apparently will be entitled to the love of their relationship going forward. Should a divorce loom in their future, the wife has little or no recourse.

Actually, this is a lesson to anyone considering a prenuptial agreement prior to getting married. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I find this story quite sobering for clients and lawyers alike. The woman, in this case a real estate professional, was very familiar through her line of work with the power and durability of a signed legal document. But seemingly, in this instance, love had made her temporarily blind. Consulting a lawyer would have sharpened her vision substantially.

As a basis for its ruling, the Alabama Court of Civil Appeals found that the wife was not prevented from reading the agreement, nor was she unfamiliar with reviewing something as important as a legal document prior to placing her signature upon it. And the fact that the prenup was signed by both parties just one day before the wedding was not considered sufficient to invalidate the agreement.

Apparently, the court also found it was important that the wife-to-be knew the husband was a “millionaire” prior to the marriage, and therefore was aware of the general extent of his assets at the time she signed the agreement. She exhibited a brief moment of clarity, as reports show that she had attempted to seek legal advice. However, when she learned that her lawyer was not available, she decided not to seek alternate counsel and signed the document anyway.

Even the most uninformed can see here that it was a mistake for this woman to sign a prenuptial agreement without consulting an attorney. At the very least, it was a risky proposition to be signing such a document just one day before the wedding. For future reference, it is always wise for both parties to work on a prenuptial agreement together, and then to have attorneys for the individual parties review the document prior to signing. That way, there should be no unpleasant surprises -- and less chance for bad blood between the newly married couple.

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