Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

Once again Hollywood is abuzz with stories of the marital rift between Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock and so-called bad boy and biker Jesse James. With rumors of divorce now swirling around the couple, it would appear that once again even the rich and famous can end up at odds with each other, although according to the tabloids this is mostly the husband’s making.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I have represented numerous clients across Alabama. From what I’ve seen, it makes no difference if you live in a large city such as Birmingham, Montgomery or Huntsville, or smaller municipality like Fort Payne, Fairhope or Muscle Shoals, separation and divorce can become the option of last resort for some folks. As for Ms. Bullock, this appears to be the case as well.

According to reports, Bullock has may be on course to divorce her husband of five years, with the public weighing in on the subject as well from coast to coast. The recent revelations of James’ alleged affairs with five separate women, including tattooed model Michelle McGee have apparently opened Bullocks eyes to her husband’s possible infidelity. The news of McGee’s admission that she had an alleged 11-month affair with James seems to have left little question in Bullock’s mind where she stands in the equation.

Based on new articles, close friends of the Hollywood star have said that Bullock has “definitely” made up her mind to divorce James. She has apparently been consulting a lawyer and is preparing to for divorce. Other insiders state that James is hoping that his stint in rehab and some privacy will help him recover and save his marriage.

Describing him as a “broken man,” one of James’ friends is on record as saying that James is still in love with his wife and that the whole affair has destroyed his “entire universe.”

According to news reports, 40-year-old James recently checked himself into an undisclosed treatment facility to “deal with personal issues" and to try and save his marriage. In a public apology last month, James apparently admitted to having poor judgment in regard to the extramarital affair.

Sandra Bullock 'definitely' wants divorce, NYDailyNews.com, April 2, 2010

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One fact of divorce in Alabama, no matter what town or city you call home -- Huntsville, Tuscaloosa, Decatur, Vestavia Hills or Talladega -- alimony and child support are a definite possibility depending on your means and the needs of your soon-to-be-ex spouse. While most individuals will fight hard not to pay alimony to a former partner, paying child support is usually accepted, albeit grudgingly by some.

As a Birmingham family law and divorce lawyer, I understand how some consider child support to be a burden, especially when that party doesn’t get to see the kids on a daily basis. Over time however, even the best provider may ask himself, “do I need to keep paying support for these nearly adult-age kids?”

The fact of the matter is that in Alabama, the age of majority is 19. What this means is that child support comes to an end once that teenager hits 19. (Be careful, though, because there is a provision for post-minority support payments when it comes to helping with college tuition and such). But for our purposes here, 19 is the age at which child support is terminated.

That being said, I have run into situations where people have asked me whether or not an 18-year-old who joins the military or otherwise is on his or her own still qualifies for child support. Does that parent’s obligation to pay support end under these kinds of circumstances?

Simply put, a parent cannot simply cease payments because they feel the child is now functioning as an autonomous individual, and neither does the child support automatically stop. However, Alabama law does provide for these kinds of situations, such as an 18-year-old joining the military.

In such instances, Alabama law allows the parent who is providing child support to file a petition with the court requesting that the child in question be declared “emancipated.” If the court agrees and the petition is granted, then the child support will usually be terminated legally.

Depending on the circumstances, it is possible that a judge will concur that the child is emancipated and subsequently grant the request for termination. Keep in mind that this is completely up to the discretion of the court and is not necessarily guaranteed . As with any family law issue, it’s wise to seek the advice of a qualified legal professional.

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Suspicion of infidelity is one of the first steps toward a broken marriage. But what if your spouse’s transgressions are not with another person, but with alcohol or drugs? Loss of love and trust through substance abuse can ruin a marriage as quickly as an affair. This is true whether you live in Montgomery, Hoover, Gadsden or Muscle Shoals.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I’ve seen many different scenarios leading to marital disharmony -- infidelity, inappropriate sexual behavior, financial irresponsibility, alcoholism and drug abuse, just to name a few.

More than once I have been asked whether or not one or all of these problems is grounds for divorce. When it comes to drug abuse by one of the partners in a marriage, I find that occasionally the spouse who is concerned about his or her partner’s addiction may want to have that individual tested for drugs. The question is whether this is a legitimate or practical request.

Simply put, if a spouse in a divorce action is interested in having the offending partner tested for illicit or prescription drugs, that party may file a motion with the court requesting testing. At this point, the judge presiding over the divorce case will make a decision as to whether or not that motion will be granted.

In Alabama, if custody of a child or children is an issue, as well as cases involving visitation rights, the judge will usually grant a motion. Typically, there must be some basis or reason for suspecting substance abuse on the part of a spouse. If the court is convinced of that there is merit to the request, then the motion for drug testing will likely be granted.

Divorce cases can be very contentious. Because of this, it’s not uncommon to have the other party respond to the drug testing with a motion of their own for the same or similar testing. In such instances, the judge will usually order both parties in the divorce to be tested. One caveat: Don’t be too sure that you will pass a similar test. It has been known for the spouse who initiated the testing to test positive for some substance that could negatively impact your side of the divorce action.

Depending on the jurisdiction, a court may require hair follicle testing, which is reportedly more accurate than other methods and also provides results that date back farther in time. Frankly speaking, anyone who uses drugs is likely not fit to raise children in the first place, which means that if you want custody of your kids, do not use drugs. The courts are not very sympathetic when substance abuse is indicated by one or the other spouse.

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As a Birmingham divorce lawyer helping clients throughout Alabama, I understand the pain and anguish that people feel following a separation or conclusion of a divorce action. For folks who share children from a marriage that is now falling apart the hurt can go very deep, especially when custody comes into play.

No matter where you live in Alabama, be it Huntsville, Auburn, Madison or Opelika, divorce and separation are not easy. One issue that arises more often than not is that of relocation. It’s a sad fact, but in a society as mobile as ours and with an economy that is forcing people to look elsewhere for employment, relocation cases have become commonplace.

Once a divorce is final, it’s inevitable to have some tension between the custodial and non-custodial parents. However, this tension can elevate if the custodial parent needs or wants to move away and take the kids with them. In cases like this the non-custodial parents will desperately want to hang on to their relationship with the children, while everyone should consider the best interests of the kids as well.

The question that I get from folks is, Where does the law come down on the issue of relocation or “move away” cases? Naturally, many non-custodial parents want to know if they can prevent their former partner from physically relocating themselves and the kids. Similarly, the custodial parent wonders if he or she actually needs to get “approval” to move from the other, non-custodial parent.

Actually, there is an Alabama statute titled the “Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act,” part of the Alabama Code, Section 30-3-160. What this part of the law requires is for the custodial parent to submit written notice to the other party, the non-custodial parent, 45 days in advance of any intended move greater than 60 miles from his or her present residence.

The law regarding this required notice is very specific as to what should be included and in what form it should take. For instance, it must be delivered via certified mail. This is why it’s always important to consult a qualified family law attorney to be certain that you are following the letter of the law.

Once notice is given, the law gives the non-custodial parent 30 days to file a written objection  with the court. If an objection is filed, the court will then set a date to hear the individual parties and make a determination as to whether or not, in the judge’s opinion, the move is in the best interests of the children.

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Let’s assume that you’re embroiled in a divorce action with your soon-to-be former spouse, who initiated the case. Whether you live in Montgomery, Dothan, Decatur, or Auburn, or anywhere in Alabama, divorce is an emotional and heart-wrenching process especially when one party doesn’t see it coming. Add children into the equation and you have potential for one of the saddest and demoralizing episodes in your life.

Being a family law and divorce attorney practicing in the Birmingham area, I have represented many clients who found themselves in the throes of a painful divorce proceeding. Part of my job is to try and make the process as easy and straightforward as possible while attempting to provide some comfort and guidance to my clients. In some instances a spouse may be so upset that they literally want to stop the divorce in its tracks.

But is this actually possible or even advisable? It’s easy to say, “I want to stop this here and now.” In reality, it’s a different story entirely here in Alabama. The sad truth is that once one spouse is committed to getting a divorce, there is no way the other party can turn it off. Short of convincing your soon-to-be-former partner to pull the plug, that’s just the way Alabama divorce law is written.

In Alabama, if one of spouse insists on a divorce, that individual is going to get his or her way no matter what. And while you and your attorney can make the divorce process take longer, you can’t stop it. As they say in the halls of divorce court, it may take two to get married, but it only takes one to get divorced.

On the topic of reconciliation, you certainly can appeal to the other party to try and make the marriage work, but most divorce actions are an indication that the marital union is probably broken and no amount of energy is going to fix it.

If you know in your heart of hearts that your marriage was on its last legs when your spouse initiated the divorce, then it may be wise to follow their lead and make the best of a bad situation. This is where a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney can really help.

If you insist on making it work, it’s a good idea to bring in a third party who is not emotionally torn between either spouse. Schedule some sessions with a qualified marriage counselor or church pastor. If both parties are committed to making the marriage work, then these professionals can perhaps help you toward making things work better.

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To finish up my final installment of things married women in Alabama should keep in mind as they approach divorce or legal separation, I’m including a few additional points to consider in this time of emotional and financial upheaval. It makes no difference whether you live in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, or Huntsville, the situation remains the same. Divorce is a sad fact for many women and going into it with yours eyes wide open is the best strategy for getting through with the least amount of surprises.

The decisions you make during a divorce proceeding can affect you and your kids for many years to come. The old adage, “Ignorance is Bliss,” is not the phrase you want to stand by in this case. Doing lots of research and finding an experienced divorce and family law attorney to be by your side is the best plan of action for any woman facing marital strife and ultimately, divorce.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, my clients come first. Because my job is to help them throughout the divorce process, I also try to be there for emotional and moral support. The following are some final points to keep in mind when preparing to follow through with a divorce, or when you’re just doing some investigation for the future.

6) Hard as it may be, you must face your worst economic fears. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous “bag lady” and wondered how she arrived at that station in life. Similarly, it’s not surprising that many women experience the fear that they, too, will be left to fend for themselves, homeless on the street.

Suddenly being thrust into the position of being the sole breadwinner for your family can be a frightening prospect. Being primarily accountable for all aspects of your children’s lives going forward is a big responsibility, but don’t think you’re the only person ever to face the unknowns of post-divorce life.

Your income may come up short and the bills in the mail can seem relentless, but be assured that thousands of women every year make to this point and beyond. Just look around. You probably know more than a few divorced ladies who have faced the same challenges and still made a better life for themselves and their kids. Many became strong for the experience through the entire process.

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Previously, I touched on a couple points to remember when approaching divorce. Whether you live in Mobile, Dothan, Tuscaloosa of Huntsville, every woman going though or contemplating a divorce in Alabama should recognize some of the more common traps that people fall into during this emotionally draining time.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, I always try to help my clients with all aspects of the divorce process. Whether you are just now thinking about becoming legally separated or already going through a divorce, you should always approach the process with a clear mind.

The following are some additional points to keep in mind when making the transition to being single again. Naturally, you should retain the services of an experienced divorce lawyer to make certain that you have covered all the areas that pertain to your circumstances.

3)  Learn early on the details of custody in Alabama. Sadly for many women going through divorce today, gone are the days of courts automatically handing over custody to the children’s mother. While preference has tended to go to the mother in the past, this is no longer the case when determining a sole or primary custodian for the kids of divorced parents.

Since there exist multiple options and variations on both custody and parenting provisions, you should perform at least as much research on child custody as you probably did when it came to your pregnancy or schooling your children. The more you know going into the divorce process, the better prepared you will be when the time comes to arguing for custody of your kids.

4)  Don’t always assume you absolutely must keep the house. This is one of the key mistakes that many women make when faced with divorce. And it’s not surprising since our homes often symbolize security and stability for the children. But temper this urge until you can truly assess the impact of keeping the house. Many times the costs can be much too high for a single parent.

Maybe you feel you can swing it, but also consider current market conditions and the state of the economy from a jobs perspective. Could you sell the house quickly and at the price you want if you lost you job? Renting has become a better option for some people ever since the economy got rough.

Do some number crunching with the help of a financial or legal advisor to determine all of the pros and cons of holding onto a home as a single parent. If you do decide to sell the house while the two of you are still married, or as part of a settlement, you can share the fix-up costs, carrying costs, brokerage fees and any capital gains tax with your spouse, rather than being solely responsible for them.

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Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

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By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.

How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010

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How much information is too much information? Going through a divorce in Alabama can be a difficult journey. Regardless of whether you live in Mobile, Birmingham, Huntsville or any of the hundreds of cities and towns across the state, the subject of divorce or legal separation can be a minefield. Spouses who are splitting up have a hard enough time discussing details with family and friends, but what of the children? How much should you share with them, if anything?

As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney practicing throughout Alabama, I have seen it all when it comes to separation and divorce. I feel the heartbreak and sense the hard feelings that can arise during this kind of life-changing event. But my knowledge and years of experience have given me the tools to help my clients make it through one of the toughest times of their life.

For sure, one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is the effect it can have on children. Divorce can be extremely trying especially where kids are involved. In many instances, my clients confide in me by asking how they should break the news to their children. Quite often, they don’t even know how they should act or behave toward their kids once a divorce has been finalized.

Of course, it can be difficult to take your children’s needs into account during the process of a divorce in Alabama. There are many and varied aspects to the process including Spousal support, division of assets, and guardianship.

If you are considering divorce, or know someone who is going through or contemplating such an action, you may want to keep the following items in mind regarding the younger members of the household. Children need and have the right to the following, especially in times of family upheaval:

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Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

• Community finances
• Assets 
• Children

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Here in Alabama, as elsewhere across the country, divorce is a serious step for any married person. From a personal point of view, separation or divorce is a truly emotional event. From a legal standpoint the process of divorce is fairly well defined, although the steps toward the final divorce decree will vary due to individual circumstances.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I tell my clients to try to remain as cool and collected as possible. While emotions can run quite high, this is a legal process and you will benefit from keeping your feelings in check as much as possible as you follow the advice of your attorney. The following is the first of a two-part discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

As previously mentioned, very few divorces follow the exact same steps, but whichever direction your particular situation takes you, it is always wise to seek professional help as early as possible. A qualified divorce attorney can guide you along the way. Other professionals who can be of great assistance in these trying times include therapists and financial advisors.

Your most important resource will be your attorney, which makes choosing one a critical process in itself. First and foremost, you need to learn about your legal rights as they pertain to an Alabama divorce. A lawyer well versed in this state’s divorce and family law is your best choice and he or she will be able to clearly explain the details regarding separation, spousal support and alimony, child custody and visitation, as well as guardianship, child support and future division of assets.

The first step is financial. Here you must gather all of your financial documents. Be sure to make a copy of all paperwork that you have collected and present this information to your attorney. At this point, you will be able to learn what the financial impact of a separation will have on you and your children, if any. It is important to understand that while some couples have the means to physically separate, other unfortunately cannot, which may mean taking up residence in different parts of the same house.

An essential part of the financial evaluation is making the determination of which debts were incurred before the separation, as well as after. This should include any shared bills paid and improvements, if any, made to common property during the separation. You should also use this time to update your insurance coverage if any of those improvements added value to your property.

At this point you should decide whether or not you and your spouse will be filing your taxes jointly, or separately. Next time, I’ll talk about the other steps leading to a divorce or legal separation.
 

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When considering divorce it is always a good idea to find a qualified family law attorney or divorce lawyer to help guide you through the labyrinth of laws and legal requirements. As a Birmingham divorce attorney I look out for the best interests of my clients went representing them in divorce court. Whether you are a husband or wife, this is a stress-filled time for many people, and my approach to compassionate representation during all phases of legal separation, divorce, child custody and other marital and post-marital agreements remains one of sympathetic, yet aggressive advocacy.

My years of experience in divorce-related and family law matters has equipped me to provide the necessary counsel during one of the most trying times in a person’s life. Here are some additional legal terms you may run across when facing a divorce or separation in the state of Alabama.

Alimony, Maintenance, Spousal Support
The awarding of alimony is determined by the court based on the need of the spouse requesting alimony and the ability of the other to pay. If fault is a factor in the divorce, the judge has the right to make an allowance to either spouse out of the estate of either spouse, or not make an allowance as the circumstances of the case may justify. However, any property acquired prior to the marriage of the parties or by inheritance or gift may not be considered in determining the amount of alimony.

Child Custody
Child support is determined using the Income Shares model, with the theory that children should continue to receive that same amount of support as if the parents were still together.

Child Custody
The courts in Alabama strives to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. The court shall in every case consider joint custody, however it may award any form of custody which is determined to be in the best interest of the child.

Joint custody does not necessarily mean equal physical custody. In determining whether joint custody is in the best interest of the child, courts typically consider the same factors considered in awarding sole legal and physical custody and all of the following factors:

1. The agreement or lack of agreement of the parents on joint custody
2. The past and present ability of the parents to cooperate with each other and make decisions jointly
3. The ability of the parents to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other parent
4. Any history of or potential for child abuse, spouse abuse, or kidnapping
5. The geographic proximity of the parents to each other as this relates to the practical considerations of joint physical custody

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Going through a divorce can be a stressful time for most people. When a marital relationship fails, all parties, not just the husband and wife are affected; dependant children, relatives and friends all feel the pain of separation and ultimately legal divorce. As a Birmingham, Alabama, divorce lawyer and family law attorney, my job is two-fold: First, to provide my client with a strong and well-planned approach to the legal aspects of the separation, and second, to offer compassionate and informed counsel in a time of emotional upheaval.

Having an experienced attorney by one’s side is paramount when working through the various steps of legal separation and divorce. I have the training to make the process as smooth as can possibly be expected under the circumstances. The many legal terms and conditions can be confusing for some people, which is why I always recommend finding a competent divorce lawyer right off the bat.

Here are some of the legal terms you may run across when facing a divorce or separation in the state of Alabama.

Legal Separation
Here in Alabama, the state recognizes legal separation. Courts will typically enter a decree of legal separation if all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met
2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart
3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with the law

Property Division
Alabama is an equitable distribution state, which means that if the parties can't agree, the property will be distributed in an equitable fashion, not necessarily equally. All property of the wife, held by her previous to the marriage or to which she may become entitled after the marriage in any manner, is the separate property of the wife and is not subject to the liabilities of the husband. All property of the wife, whether acquired by descent or inheritance, or gift, devise or bequest, or by contract or conveyance, or by gift from or contract with the husband, is the separate property of the wife within the meaning of, and is subject to all the provisions of, this chapter, saving and excepting only such property as may be conveyed to an active trustee for her benefit.

Additional information will be included next week in part two of this discussion. 

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One of the biggest concerns among parents going through a divorce is the law’s affect on the custody of the children. In this respect, couples without kids have less to worry about, but having a qualified family law and divorce attorney at your side is the first step toward a better outcome. Here in Birmingham, and across Alabama as well, the courts have a great deal of discretion when it comes to child custody cases.

In any custody proceeding, the child or children in question become wards of the court, and as such the court is entirely concerned with any issues affecting those children. For example, in Ex parte Divine, the Alabama Supreme Court listed a dozen factors that must be considered when deciding upon the best interests of a child during a custody proceeding. These include:

• Sex and age(s) of the child or children
• Emotional, social, moral, material and educational needs of each child
• Type of home environment offered by each parent
• Each parent’s age, character, stability, and mental and physical health
• The individual parent’s capacity and interest in providing for the emotional, social, etc., needs of child or children
• Relationship between each child and each parent
• Relationship between the children themselves
• Effect on the children that disrupting, or continuing, an existing custodial arrangement would possibly cause
• Any preference(s) of child or children, assuming they are of sufficient age and maturity
• Recommendations of experts
• Any available alternatives
• Any relevant matters

Understand that past performance is often quite crucial in the court’s determination as to custody of a child. However, a spouse's prior performance may not be an accurate portrait of their future performance once the realities of a divorce become known. For example, a spouse who used to work at home taking care of the kids may not be able to stay home full-time once the divorce is final. This happens frequently as the financial situation of one of the two parents usually changes substantially after the divorce. The same can be said for his or her time constraints and other realities, which may have changed as well.

Because of this, the court has ultimate power in determining the custody situation with each child during the proceedings. This is just one more reason why my firm advocates divorce mediation and collaborative legal processes whenever possible. Parents should be the ones determining your child's best interests, not the courts.

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Alabama is a state that recognizes legal separation. As a Birmingham divorce attorney, a certain percentage of my clients typically ask about this option as an alternative to divorce. Legal separation, which is sometimes referred to as "judicial separation," "separate maintenance" or "divorce a mensa et thoro" (translation: "divorce from bed-and-board"), is way in which a married couple may legally formalize what can be a de facto separation while at the same time remaining legally married.

People choose legal separation for a number of reasons, but it usually is done if there is still some hope of saving the marriage, or if one or both of the parties (or even their families) have a moral or religious objection to divorce.

For the state of Alabama to recognize a legal separation, the parties shall enter a decree of legal separation if all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met
2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart
3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with Rule 32 of the Alabama Rules of Judicial Administration

As implied above, a legal separation does not necessarily lead to a divorce. It does leave the door open to reconciliation, in which case the parties usually need not do anything more, as they are still legally married. If, however, the couple does not manage to find common ground, they may then wish to go through with a divorce, which must be filed for explicitly.

As an Alabama family law and divorce lawyer, I have handled many legal separations as well as helped cleints through divorces. The law can many times be complex and confusing. A qualified legal professional with experience in family law can be a great help when guiding people through the legal process during what can be a truly difficult and emotional time.

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