Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

Taking your problems to a court of law may seem like a necessary solution, but it is rarely a simple process without the right kind of help. As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I’ve assisted many Alabama residents in areas such as child custody, child support and spousal support, or maintenance.

If you live in Montgomery County, Talladega County, Cullman County or any of the dozens of towns and cities throughout the state, you face the same court system that thousands of local people face every year when pursuing justice for themselves and their families. When it comes to divorce and other related marital cases found in family court, the path to a favorable resolution can be fraught with pitfalls and time-consuming hurdles.

Lawsuits in Alabama can take months or even years to make it to court. But if you're pursuing a divorce you can’t wait to have that settlement over and done with. Most everyone I’ve counseled regarding divorce or legal separation has wanted a quick decision from the judge. That decision must include who gets custody of the children, the family vehicle, money held in multiple bank accounts, the couple’s home, a whole range of items.

As a spouse with little or no means, a decision by the court also must address monies for child support and other payments. In short, you cannot wait months or years for your case to inch its way through the state’s court system.

The good news here is that you do not have to wait. When couples become separated, important issues are often resolved via a short hearing before a judge, instead of requiring a full-blown trial. These hearings are usually held in a special court, referred to as family court in most states.

Regardless of the brevity that these sessions typically offer, because they are so quick you must be prepared and know exactly what you want to ask. You may have only a few minutes to state your side.

One helpful tool is the Temporary Order. This can be used by a spouse with little income of her own to help start some kind of support payment in order to feed and shelter the couple’s children. For example, a wife who has been abandoned can go to court to request a temporary order from a judge, even though a formal divorce action has not yet been filed. Her request will be put on a fast track, and a hearing will be scheduled within days or weeks.

Similarly, one spouse can request of the court to temporarily restrain the other from coming close or contacting the other. It can also be used to expedite the moving out of one spouse from the couple’s home prior to the finalization of the divorce.

In all cases, an experienced family law attorney can make things happen faster due to his or her knowledge of the law and familiarity with the local or state court system.

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Because Alabama recognizes legal separation, most people looking at divorce in cites like Tuscaloosa, Bessemer, Huntsville and Mobile do not always have to file for divorce, at least not immediately. As a Birmingham divorce lawyer, I know that a certain percentage of people considering a divorce action will also have thought about separation as an alternative. Legal separation, which can also be referred to as "judicial separation," "separate maintenance" or "divorce a mensa et thoro" (which translates roughly into "divorce from bed-and-board"), is one way that marital partners can legally formalize what is a de facto separation while at the same time staying legally married.

Folks all around Alabama choose legal separation for a wide variety of reasons. However, the most frequent explanation is because the one or both spouses believe that the marriage may still have a chance of being saved. Occasionally, legal separation may be chosen because of one or both of the parties have a moral or religious objection to divorce.

For the state of Alabama to recognize a legal separation, both parties must enter a decree of legal separation assuming all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met

2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart

3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with Rule 32 of the Alabama Rules of Judicial Administration

As the above suggests, while legal separation does not necessarily lead to a divorce, it can leave the door open to reconciliation, in which case the parties typically do not need to do anything more since they are still married in the eyes of the law. If, however, the couple does not manage to find common ground, they may then wish to go through with a divorce, which must be filed for explicitly.

A qualified family law and divorce lawyer can help individuals navigate through the complexities of legal separation as well as full-blown divorce actions, which can be of great help during what is usually a difficult and emotional time for most people.
 

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As a Birmingham divorce lawyer, I know that sooner or later some people will need the services of an experienced divorce attorney. One of the reasons folks turn to a legal professional is because of the complex and sometimes labyrinthine structure of our legal system here in Alabama. Regardless of whether a person is getting a divorce in Gadsden or Tuscaloosa, or becoming legally separated in Mobile or Huntsville, there are many areas of the law that only a lawyer can guide you through.

One area that sometimes causes people confusion is the myriad of legal terms they hear or read in agreements, contracts and decrees. To help make things a bit more clear, I have listed below a few of the many important terms and definitions used in the area of divorce law. Because getting a divorce is fraught with new and possibly intimidating terminology, retaining a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney is an important first step.

=============== Divorce Terms ================
 

Abandonment
Applied when one married spouse leaves the marital home, in some areas this may be grounds for divorce or may reflect adversely upon the spouse who moves.

Adultery
Sexual intercourse by a married person outside of the marriage, which in some parts of the country may be grounds for divorce or could adversely affect the offender's case.

Affidavit
A sworn written statement usually made under oath or on affirmation before a magistrate or officer (often a notary public).

Alimony
Also called maintenance or support. See Maintenance.

Alimony Pendente
Spousal support to be paid by one marital partner to the other during the pre-trial period of separation.

Contempt of Court
The deliberate failure to comply with the orders or directives of the Court.

Contested
Any issue on which the petitioner and respondent cannot agree, which must then be decided by the court.

Default
Failure to respond in the prescribed manner within a given period of time. The Respondent in a Petition for Dissolution is said to be in default if he or she failed to respond within a set period of time, usually 30 days after the date of service.

Discovery
Pretrial disclosure of pertinent facts and documents, including financial figures, by one or both parties.

Emancipation
The point at which children become financially independent, or reach the age of 18 or 21, depending on the wording of a state's laws.

Ex-Parte
On or from one side or party only, sometimes used in reference to the absence of the opposing party.

Interrogatories
A formal or written question that must be answered under the direction of the court.

Lump-Sum Alimony
Alimony (a.k.a. spousal support, maintenance) money is given in a single lump-sum payment.

Maintenance
Also called alimony or spousal support.

Mediation
A non-adversarial process in which two or more parties work through discussion and compromise toward agreement with the aid of a neutral party, or Mediator. In Divorce Mediation, the Mediator works with the divorcing spouses.

Motion to Modify
A motion put before the court requesting that changes be made in physical or legal custody, or in child support payments, thus modifying the existing arrangement.

No-Fault Divorce
A divorce in which neither party has been accused of or found guilty of any misconduct.

Non-Custodial Parent
The parent with whom the child is not physically living.

PDL Motion
pendente lite (Latin), or pending in the litigation. Any motion filed before the Petition is presented in court. Cannot be filed until at least 30 days after the Respondent is served with notice of intention to divorce. See Motions.

Petition for Dissolution
The wording used in some states for the legal Petition for Divorce.

Petitioner
The spouse who files for divorce.

QDRO
A Qualified Domestic Relations Order is a court order declaring that one spouse shall be entitled to a portion of the other spouse's pension as a part of the marital assets.

Quit Claim
To release or relinquish legal claim, or a document relinquishing claim, as in a quit claim to the deed to the marital house.

Request for Production
Part of the Discovery process in which one attorney asks for the other side to produce documents they deem necessary to the case, such as financial documents.

Respondent
The spouse whom the Petitioner is seeking to divorce.

Uncontested
When all issues have been resolved in a manner acceptable to both parties, the divorce is said to be Uncontested.

Visitation
The legal right of a non-custodial parent to see his or her child (children).

Waiver
The legal document with which one relinquishes a known right, claim, or privilege.

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I’ll say right off that it’s probably true that most folks think a prenuptial agreement -- or prenup, as they say in Hollywood -- will kill the romance between a couple as surely as a an illicit affair. But does suggesting that your soon-to-be spouse sign a prenuptial agreement really spell the end of trust; Certainly not. Oddly, it may just make that bond even stronger. Rather than curse or jinx a pending marriage, a prenup should be looked at as helping to cement the relationship.

Contrary to popular belief, asking your future husband or wife to sign a prenuptial agreement should not be viewed as a sign of distrust, but as a mutual act of financial openness and faith in the enduring qualities of your relationship. As a Birmingham Divorce and Family Law Attorney, I’ve represented both women and men who have entered into a prenuptial agreement with a future marriage partner.

The trouble is that many people associate the mere mention of the prenup as a prelude to a bad marriage inevitably doomed to end in divorce. Because of this, it’s really no surprise then that most folks, men and women alike, can be quite apprehensive about raising this topic with a future spouse. But there’s really nothing to fret over.

First and foremost, a prenuptial agreement is a document created between future spouses prior to their exchange of marriage vows. An agreement of this type usually lists property settlements in the event of divorce, and could include other legal issues such as possible additional obligations that could arise during the marriage. In Alabama, the law requires that certain procedures as part of the process of forming a prenup, such as full financial disclosure between the two named parties. (It’s important to remember that the law actually prohibits prenuptial agreements if they are not truthfully represented.)

While prenups have been tainted with bad press, thanks in part to those of the rich and famous who have included this legal document as a prerequisite to marriage, over time they have become more commonplace with mainstream Americans. Often created before first or subsequent marriages, they are a means of reassuring the soon-to-be spouses that each party’s assets are protected. Prenuptial agreements can be used in the event of divorce, death, or to establish other postnuptial agreements.

More importantly, and something many people don’t usually consider, is how useful a prenuptial agreement can be in the case of an impending second marriage. This is because there may be sizable assets from the previous marriage that the individual may want to retain sole ownership of -- so she can pass those along to any children from the first marriage, for example.

Remember, a court can refuse to enforce portions of a prenuptial agreement, not to mention the entire document altogether, under certain circumstances such as if assets were hidden or if there is evidence that the agreement was created in haste.

As with any legal document -- to ensure that your prenuptial agreement is valid and to be sure that your rights are protected -- I highly recommend that each party consult with their own attorney prior to entering into the prenup. It may not be seem like the most romantic part of getting hitched, but it could very well make your future together that much more secure.

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Once again Hollywood is abuzz with stories of the marital rift between Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock and so-called bad boy and biker Jesse James. With rumors of divorce now swirling around the couple, it would appear that once again even the rich and famous can end up at odds with each other, although according to the tabloids this is mostly the husband’s making.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I have represented numerous clients across Alabama. From what I’ve seen, it makes no difference if you live in a large city such as Birmingham, Montgomery or Huntsville, or smaller municipality like Fort Payne, Fairhope or Muscle Shoals, separation and divorce can become the option of last resort for some folks. As for Ms. Bullock, this appears to be the case as well.

According to reports, Bullock has may be on course to divorce her husband of five years, with the public weighing in on the subject as well from coast to coast. The recent revelations of James’ alleged affairs with five separate women, including tattooed model Michelle McGee have apparently opened Bullocks eyes to her husband’s possible infidelity. The news of McGee’s admission that she had an alleged 11-month affair with James seems to have left little question in Bullock’s mind where she stands in the equation.

Based on new articles, close friends of the Hollywood star have said that Bullock has “definitely” made up her mind to divorce James. She has apparently been consulting a lawyer and is preparing to for divorce. Other insiders state that James is hoping that his stint in rehab and some privacy will help him recover and save his marriage.

Describing him as a “broken man,” one of James’ friends is on record as saying that James is still in love with his wife and that the whole affair has destroyed his “entire universe.”

According to news reports, 40-year-old James recently checked himself into an undisclosed treatment facility to “deal with personal issues" and to try and save his marriage. In a public apology last month, James apparently admitted to having poor judgment in regard to the extramarital affair.

 

Sandra Bullock 'definitely' wants divorce, NYDailyNews.com, April 2, 2010

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One fact of divorce in Alabama, no matter what town or city you call home -- Huntsville, Tuscaloosa, Decatur, Vestavia Hills or Talladega -- alimony and child support are a definite possibility depending on your means and the needs of your soon-to-be-ex spouse. While most individuals will fight hard not to pay alimony to a former partner, paying child support is usually accepted, albeit grudgingly by some.

As a Birmingham family law and divorce lawyer, I understand how some consider child support to be a burden, especially when that party doesn’t get to see the kids on a daily basis. Over time however, even the best provider may ask himself, “do I need to keep paying support for these nearly adult-age kids?”

The fact of the matter is that in Alabama, the age of majority is 19. What this means is that child support comes to an end once that teenager hits 19. (Be careful, though, because there is a provision for post-minority support payments when it comes to helping with college tuition and such). But for our purposes here, 19 is the age at which child support is terminated.

That being said, I have run into situations where people have asked me whether or not an 18-year-old who joins the military or otherwise is on his or her own still qualifies for child support. Does that parent’s obligation to pay support end under these kinds of circumstances?

Simply put, a parent cannot simply cease payments because they feel the child is now functioning as an autonomous individual, and neither does the child support automatically stop. However, Alabama law does provide for these kinds of situations, such as an 18-year-old joining the military.

In such instances, Alabama law allows the parent who is providing child support to file a petition with the court requesting that the child in question be declared “emancipated.” If the court agrees and the petition is granted, then the child support will usually be terminated legally.

Depending on the circumstances, it is possible that a judge will concur that the child is emancipated and subsequently grant the request for termination. Keep in mind that this is completely up to the discretion of the court and is not necessarily guaranteed . As with any family law issue, it’s wise to seek the advice of a qualified legal professional.

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Suspicion of infidelity is one of the first steps toward a broken marriage. But what if your spouse’s transgressions are not with another person, but with alcohol or drugs? Loss of love and trust through substance abuse can ruin a marriage as quickly as an affair. This is true whether you live in Montgomery, Hoover, Gadsden or Muscle Shoals.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I’ve seen many different scenarios leading to marital disharmony -- infidelity, inappropriate sexual behavior, financial irresponsibility, alcoholism and drug abuse, just to name a few.

More than once I have been asked whether or not one or all of these problems is grounds for divorce. When it comes to drug abuse by one of the partners in a marriage, I find that occasionally the spouse who is concerned about his or her partner’s addiction may want to have that individual tested for drugs. The question is whether this is a legitimate or practical request.

Simply put, if a spouse in a divorce action is interested in having the offending partner tested for illicit or prescription drugs, that party may file a motion with the court requesting testing. At this point, the judge presiding over the divorce case will make a decision as to whether or not that motion will be granted.

In Alabama, if custody of a child or children is an issue, as well as cases involving visitation rights, the judge will usually grant a motion. Typically, there must be some basis or reason for suspecting substance abuse on the part of a spouse. If the court is convinced of that there is merit to the request, then the motion for drug testing will likely be granted.

Divorce cases can be very contentious. Because of this, it’s not uncommon to have the other party respond to the drug testing with a motion of their own for the same or similar testing. In such instances, the judge will usually order both parties in the divorce to be tested. One caveat: Don’t be too sure that you will pass a similar test. It has been known for the spouse who initiated the testing to test positive for some substance that could negatively impact your side of the divorce action.

Depending on the jurisdiction, a court may require hair follicle testing, which is reportedly more accurate than other methods and also provides results that date back farther in time. Frankly speaking, anyone who uses drugs is likely not fit to raise children in the first place, which means that if you want custody of your kids, do not use drugs. The courts are not very sympathetic when substance abuse is indicated by one or the other spouse.

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Whether you live in Huntsville, Bessemer, Tuscaloosa or any of the dozens of cities and towns throughout Alabama, picking the right divorce lawyer can make the difference between a painful and costly divorce and a smooth and equitable split. Since nearly 50 percent of all marriages end up in divorce, this it is very important to make the right choices, not only in your future spouse, but also in your divorce and family law attorney.

As an experienced Birmingham attorney well versed in divorce and family law, I have assisted many clients through what can be a harrowing and emotionally difficult time in their lives. If children are involved, then the added pain and hard feelings can compound the situation to the extent that it affects even the couple’s friends and relatives.

Choosing the right attorney can alleviate some of the emotional anguish that inevitably comes from such a legal separation. Having counseled many individuals contemplating and going through divorce, I would like to provide a few key points for finding a good divorce attorney:

1) First and foremost, choose a lawyer who specializes in family law. This goes without saying. A family law attorney should be completed prepared with the correct paperwork and forms necessary to an Alabama divorce action, which also helps to speed things along and save you time and effort.

2) Make a determination as to the gender of your attorney. Some people are more comfortable talking to a lawyer of the same sex as themselves, but you must decide for yourself.

3) Choose an attorney who is knowledgeable about and has handled case in the particular county in which your case will be heard. Having a lawyer who is familiar with the local judges and other attorneys will help you in the long run.

4) Interview your candidate to see if he or she will fight aggressively for you if the going gets nasty, as it often can. You never want to “pick fights” with your soon-to-be-ex spouse, but you do need a lawyer who understands your circumstances and will act always in your best interests.

5) Seek out friends and family members who have been divorced to get their thoughts on what to expect and who helped them the most. Divorce is no cakewalk, but you should be able to find someone in your extended circle of friends who believes that their case was handled well and in a straightforward manner.

6) Never be afraid to switch lawyers if you feel that you are not being represented in the best way. Sometimes there may simply be a clash of personalities, but whatever the reason, you need to feel comfortable with the attorney who is handling you case because it means so much to you and your family.

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As a Birmingham divorce lawyer helping clients throughout Alabama, I understand the pain and anguish that people feel following a separation or conclusion of a divorce action. For folks who share children from a marriage that is now falling apart the hurt can go very deep, especially when custody comes into play.

No matter where you live in Alabama, be it Huntsville, Auburn, Madison or Opelika, divorce and separation are not easy. One issue that arises more often than not is that of relocation. It’s a sad fact, but in a society as mobile as ours and with an economy that is forcing people to look elsewhere for employment, relocation cases have become commonplace.

Once a divorce is final, it’s inevitable to have some tension between the custodial and non-custodial parents. However, this tension can elevate if the custodial parent needs or wants to move away and take the kids with them. In cases like this the non-custodial parents will desperately want to hang on to their relationship with the children, while everyone should consider the best interests of the kids as well.

The question that I get from folks is, Where does the law come down on the issue of relocation or “move away” cases? Naturally, many non-custodial parents want to know if they can prevent their former partner from physically relocating themselves and the kids. Similarly, the custodial parent wonders if he or she actually needs to get “approval” to move from the other, non-custodial parent.

Actually, there is an Alabama statute titled the “Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act,” part of the Alabama Code, Section 30-3-160. What this part of the law requires is for the custodial parent to submit written notice to the other party, the non-custodial parent, 45 days in advance of any intended move greater than 60 miles from his or her present residence.

The law regarding this required notice is very specific as to what should be included and in what form it should take. For instance, it must be delivered via certified mail. This is why it’s always important to consult a qualified family law attorney to be certain that you are following the letter of the law.

Once notice is given, the law gives the non-custodial parent 30 days to file a written objection  with the court. If an objection is filed, the court will then set a date to hear the individual parties and make a determination as to whether or not, in the judge’s opinion, the move is in the best interests of the children.

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In these cash-strapped times many spouses going through divorce are asking the same question: Will I be able to receive any Alimony payments? It’s a fact that the majority of alimony awards go to the wife. As an Alabama divorce attorney and family law lawyer, I am always oncerned that my clients receive their fair share of the marital assets as part of a divorce settlement. Whether you live in Hoover or Florence, Tuscaloosa, Bessemer or Homewood, your concerns will likely be the same.

In difficult economic times, alimony and child support can both be a function of an ex-spouse’s earning power. Alimony itself is a payment from one former marital partner to the other and is usually paid on a monthly basis. It is ordered by the court as continuing support for one of the former spouses following a divorce.

You should remember that alimony is a separate and distinct payment from any other kind of divorce-related payments, such as child support. As with most aspects of divorce in Alabama, the payment of alimony is decided by a divorce judge and is determined solely by the discretion of the court. In fact, alimony payments are decided based on the specifics of the individual divorce case and the needs and means of the respective parties.

Unfortunately for the divorcing spouses, there is no fixed rule that can be applied to the setting of alimony payment, or even if alimony is justified as part of a divorce settlement. Therefore, the determination of an alimony payment, if any, is always an open issue until decided by the judge overseeing the case.

Several factors that govern how a divorce court in Alabama will decide if alimony is justified include A) the financial need of the receiving spouse (usually the wife) and the ability of the paying spouse (quite often the husband) to pay; (B) the conduct of the individual parties as pertains to the cause(s) of the divorce; and C) the length of the marriage. In the end, whether or not you receive alimony could have a great impact on your ability to preserve your personal assets going forward.

As always, a good divorce lawyer and family law attorney can assist in a large part when going through the many times painful process of divorce. Having a qualified family law attorney by your side can help when it comes time to make the big decisions that could affect your life and the lives of your children fro some times to come.
 

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To finish up my final installment of things married women in Alabama should keep in mind as they approach divorce or legal separation, I’m including a few additional points to consider in this time of emotional and financial upheaval. It makes no difference whether you live in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, or Huntsville, the situation remains the same. Divorce is a sad fact for many women and going into it with yours eyes wide open is the best strategy for getting through with the least amount of surprises.

The decisions you make during a divorce proceeding can affect you and your kids for many years to come. The old adage, “Ignorance is Bliss,” is not the phrase you want to stand by in this case. Doing lots of research and finding an experienced divorce and family law attorney to be by your side is the best plan of action for any woman facing marital strife and ultimately, divorce.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, my clients come first. Because my job is to help them throughout the divorce process, I also try to be there for emotional and moral support. The following are some final points to keep in mind when preparing to follow through with a divorce, or when you’re just doing some investigation for the future.

6) Hard as it may be, you must face your worst economic fears. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous “bag lady” and wondered how she arrived at that station in life. Similarly, it’s not surprising that many women experience the fear that they, too, will be left to fend for themselves, homeless on the street.

Suddenly being thrust into the position of being the sole breadwinner for your family can be a frightening prospect. Being primarily accountable for all aspects of your children’s lives going forward is a big responsibility, but don’t think you’re the only person ever to face the unknowns of post-divorce life.

Your income may come up short and the bills in the mail can seem relentless, but be assured that thousands of women every year make to this point and beyond. Just look around. You probably know more than a few divorced ladies who have faced the same challenges and still made a better life for themselves and their kids. Many became strong for the experience through the entire process.

7) Never assume that your so-called ‘permanent’ alimony will always be around. It’s fairly common for women who have been married for some time and also out of the job market to receive permanent alimony. Especially if your soon-to-former spouse was a good wage earner, you will likely be awarded this by the court.

However, circumstances change. If your ex comes down with a serious illness, loses his job or gets a demotion, he is entitled to seek a reduction (or worse) termination of his monthly obligation to you. A more common situation is that the wife is awarded support for a finite period with the option of extending support in the future. In the worst of cases, the court may decide that you have the abilities and health to pursue gainful employment yourself -- if your marriage was relatively short, you may get nothing at all.

The bottom line is you must be prepared to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. They say that God helps those who help themselves and it is those with foresight who look to the future by pursuing further education and learning new skills. By taking the initiative early on, you will make yourself less vulnerable economically if and when that alimony runs out.

8) Finally, have faith in your own abilities and desire to make a better future. Believing in yourself goes a long way toward making good things happen. Don’t be so concerned about finding Mr. Right the second time around. If it happens, it happens. But until it does, concentrate on Number One. Taking control of your life as you open this newest chapter will make all the difference.

You may discover skills or talents that you never knew you had. You might find that you have abilities that were dormant during your married life, which could truly open the door to a better future. Have faith and be strong. Write your own success story and remember: Living well and being happy can sometimes be the best revenge.

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Previously, I touched on a couple points to remember when approaching divorce. Whether you live in Mobile, Dothan, Tuscaloosa of Huntsville, every woman going though or contemplating a divorce in Alabama should recognize some of the more common traps that people fall into during this emotionally draining time.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, I always try to help my clients with all aspects of the divorce process. Whether you are just now thinking about becoming legally separated or already going through a divorce, you should always approach the process with a clear mind.

The following are some additional points to keep in mind when making the transition to being single again. Naturally, you should retain the services of an experienced divorce lawyer to make certain that you have covered all the areas that pertain to your circumstances.

3)  Learn early on the details of custody in Alabama. Sadly for many women going through divorce today, gone are the days of courts automatically handing over custody to the children’s mother. While preference has tended to go to the mother in the past, this is no longer the case when determining a sole or primary custodian for the kids of divorced parents.

Since there exist multiple options and variations on both custody and parenting provisions, you should perform at least as much research on child custody as you probably did when it came to your pregnancy or schooling your children. The more you know going into the divorce process, the better prepared you will be when the time comes to arguing for custody of your kids.

4)  Don’t always assume you absolutely must keep the house. This is one of the key mistakes that many women make when faced with divorce. And it’s not surprising since our homes often symbolize security and stability for the children. But temper this urge until you can truly assess the impact of keeping the house. Many times the costs can be much too high for a single parent.

Maybe you feel you can swing it, but also consider current market conditions and the state of the economy from a jobs perspective. Could you sell the house quickly and at the price you want if you lost you job? Renting has become a better option for some people ever since the economy got rough.

Do some number crunching with the help of a financial or legal advisor to determine all of the pros and cons of holding onto a home as a single parent. If you do decide to sell the house while the two of you are still married, or as part of a settlement, you can share the fix-up costs, carrying costs, brokerage fees and any capital gains tax with your spouse, rather than being solely responsible for them.

5)  Don’t underestimate your retirement assets. If you are still in your prime earning years, or even if you are middle-aged and still very productive, it may be difficult to fully appreciate the benefits and importance of tax-deferred assets in IRA, 401(k) or pension accounts. And although it may be tempting to take “offsetting” cash or the house or even the family car now, while putting off worrying about tomorrow for later, the tax implications could set you back further than you may know.

A financial advisor can help you to carefully analyze long-term needs versus cash-in-hand options. Again, being prepared ahead of time will save you a great deal of grief after the divorce is final. Use the internet and other specialized services to help you make the right financial decisions the first time because you usually cannot go back once you take monies out of a tax-deferred account, for instance.

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Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

For some women, it may be difficult to face up to the fact that their husband will not be taking care of all those things he previously handled for the family. Promises of trying to work things out or the feeling that if the two of you just sat down with a third party things would get better are falsely comforting and get in the way of actual planning needed to transition to being single again.

The reality is that you and your spouse take on adversarial roles where what used to be common and shared interests in things such as assets and living expenses. Because you need to be fully aware of your entire financial picture, one solution would be to assume the best, but prepare for the worst.

In this case it is important to find a qualified divorce lawyer to whom you can put some, but not all of your reliance. While you can listen to what may or may not be a fair and equitable proposition for settlement from your spouse, always consult with your attorney before making any ultimate commitments.

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By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.

How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010

 

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How much information is too much information? Going through a divorce in Alabama can be a difficult journey. Regardless of whether you live in Mobile, Birmingham, Huntsville or any of the hundreds of cities and towns across the state, the subject of divorce or legal separation can be a minefield. Spouses who are splitting up have a hard enough time discussing details with family and friends, but what of the children? How much should you share with them, if anything?

As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney practicing throughout Alabama, I have seen it all when it comes to separation and divorce. I feel the heartbreak and sense the hard feelings that can arise during this kind of life-changing event. But my knowledge and years of experience have given me the tools to help my clients make it through one of the toughest times of their life.

For sure, one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is the effect it can have on children. Divorce can be extremely trying especially where kids are involved. In many instances, my clients confide in me by asking how they should break the news to their children. Quite often, they don’t even know how they should act or behave toward their kids once a divorce has been finalized.

Of course, it can be difficult to take your children’s needs into account during the process of a divorce in Alabama. There are many and varied aspects to the process including Spousal support, division of assets, and guardianship.

If you are considering divorce, or know someone who is going through or contemplating such an action, you may want to keep the following items in mind regarding the younger members of the household. Children need and have the right to the following, especially in times of family upheaval:

-- Being free of the conflict between the parents

--Developing and maintaining an independent relationship with each parent

-- Not having to take over the parental responsibility for making custody and/or visitation decisions

-- Not being expected or forced to take sides with, defend, or lessen the value of either parent
 
-- Being guided, taught, supervised, disciplined and nurtured by each parent, without interference from the other parent

-- Spending time with each parent, regardless of whether or not financial support is given

-- Having a personal sleeping area and space for possessions in each parent’s home

-- Being physically safe and adequately supervised when in the care of each parent

-- Having a stable, consistent and responsible child care arrangement when not supervised by the parents

-- Developing and maintaining meaningful relationships with other significant adults, as long as these relationships do not interfere with or replace the children’s primary relationship with their parents

-- Expecting that both parents stay informed about medical, dental, educational and legal matters, unless such disclosure would prove harmful to the child

-- Participating in age-appropriate activities so long as these activities do not significantly impair their relationship with either parent

If you need professional legal advice on divorce, child custody or any other area of family law, an experienced family law and divorce attorney is your best bet to setting your life on a new and happier course. An experienced and compassionate attorney will make a world of difference for you and your kids.

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Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

• Community finances
• Assets 
• Children

 

Each of these areas include complicated and very serious topics, so it is a smart move to approach each of them separately and resolve one before addressing the next. Meeting each other halfway can go a long way toward speeding along the No-fault divorce process and getting on with your life.

Once a friendly agreement is arrived at for the above three areas, the balance of a No-Fault divorce includes putting the information you accumulated on various state documents including the initial divorce complaint, then signing the documents and filing them with your particular Court of Jurisdiction.

Alabama has a waiting period of 60 days from the date of signed Decree of Divorce before either spouse can remarry within the state. However, there is no waiting period for an out-of-state marriage.

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One of the more frequent causes of divorce can usually be summed up in one word: Incompatibility. As a divorce lawyer practicing in the Birmingham area, I can say that many divorces are the result of an unpleasant or contentious marital relationship. However, this doesn’t mean that the divorce process or the court proceedings surrounding it must necessarily be fraught with acrimony and bitterness.

While the primary job of a divorce and family law attorney is to fight for his or her client’s best interests, it is important that a lawyer also be compassionate and provide a buffer between the client and the other party. Nothing is gained by getting angry during a divorce action, so this is always something to keep in mind.

Now the question I will pose here is, can there be any such thing as a  friendly divorce? Fortunately for many people, the answer is yes. Because Alabama is a No-Fault (also known as uncontested) divorce state, regardless of whether you live in large cities such as Birmingham and Montgomery, or any of the other smaller cities and towns throughout Alabama, an individual can usually obtain a divorce without too many legal complications.

There is a caveat here: you and your spouse must agree to the terms of the divorce in an amicable and friendly manner. This is critical as any history of domestic violence in a marital relationship could easily derail a friendly divorce and could even make things worse. Therefore, if there is a history of domestic violence it is highly recommended that you retain professional legal counsel when pursuing a No-Fault divorce in Alabama.

Once you and your spouse realize the marriage is over, and if you can get past that initial shock and anger of realizing there is no going back, then you may have a chance to honestly look at a No-Fault divorce for your situation.

This can only happen if both parties act in a mature and responsible manner. Try to keep things on a friendly basis, because these is no reason for anything hostile or antagonistic to happen during this time. A key here is to avoid resurrecting the reasons why you are getting a divorce in the first place. Keep it civil and your chances of getting through the proceedings will improve dramatically.

Frankly speaking, if your differences are irreconcilable, then these individual reasons will only be impediments to achieving an amicable and “friendly” resolution. Keeping this in mind and seeking the services of a qualified and experienced family law and divorce attorney will help you get through the divorce and on to a new and better life for yourself and your family.

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Divorce can be a painful and life-altering event for most married people, especially if children are involved. In my last entry, I discussed a few of the initial steps when moving toward divorce in Alabama. For most individuals, going through a legal separation or divorce can be a very emotional time.

As a divorce lawyer with a Birmingham family law practice, I recommend that people in the throes of divorce attempt to avoid emotionality as much as possible. Though it is difficult, keeping a cool head is highly desirable when going through such a serious legal process as divorce. The following is the second part of my discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

One of the initial steps in kicking off the formal divorce procedure is the creation of a complaint (or petition) requesting a divorce, which is filed by one or the other spouse. Once the petition is filed, the other spouse must file an answer in kind -- this is that spouse’s “response.” The petition usually includes items such as requests for temporary orders regarding custody of the couple’s children (if any) and visitation, alimony and, or in addition to, child support payments. It is not uncommon that the petitioning spouse will request the other to pay his or her lawyer costs.

Following the petition, the next step is for your attorney to undertake legal discovery. Just as in any law suit, this is done to obtain information pertinent to the divorce. This information will help determine the amount of spousal and/or child support, as well as attorney fees that you may be required to pay -- or the amount that you will receive.

Depending on your particular circumstances, retaining the services of a forensic accountant can be very helpful when searching for your spouse’s potentially hidden assets. This kind of accountant can also assist in analyzing your overall debts and assets. Others professionals involved in this process may include CPAs, appraiser and tax advisors, who can help you become aware of the tax implications and other potential risks of hanging onto or giving up property.

Prior to the commencement of settlement negotiations, it is wise to know what items you want the agreement to cover. Being able to understand the various tax consequences or other financial issues tied to each offer and counteroffer made during the negotiations is critical to a successful outcome. This is why having a qualified divorce lawyer on your side during these negotiations makes a great deal of sense.

As an unemotional advocate, an attorney can make the entire process much easier. As I have said before, keeping any possible anger out of the negotiations may help you avoid the possibility of a trial. Since divorce trials can be rather expensive for both of the spouses, this is something you should steer clear of if at all possible.

When the negotiation stage is completed, a settlement agreement will be drawn up to reflect the terms that were mutually settled upon. If, on the other hand, the negotiations break down for some reason, the divorce proceeding will head to trial, in which a judge will decide how to divvy up your assets, as well as determine which spouse will get custody of the children (if any). During the trial, the judge will also decide how much child support and/or alimony will be paid.

Regardless of how the final divorce settlement is arrived at, either through cooperative negotiation or by trial, when all is said and done a final divorce decree will be created based on the complete terms of the settlement agreement.

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When considering divorce it is always a good idea to find a qualified family law attorney or divorce lawyer to help guide you through the labyrinth of laws and legal requirements. As a Birmingham divorce attorney I look out for the best interests of my clients went representing them in divorce court. Whether you are a husband or wife, this is a stress-filled time for many people, and my approach to compassionate representation during all phases of legal separation, divorce, child custody and other marital and post-marital agreements remains one of sympathetic, yet aggressive advocacy.

My years of experience in divorce-related and family law matters has equipped me to provide the necessary counsel during one of the most trying times in a person’s life. Here are some additional legal terms you may run across when facing a divorce or separation in the state of Alabama.

Alimony, Maintenance, Spousal Support
The awarding of alimony is determined by the court based on the need of the spouse requesting alimony and the ability of the other to pay. If fault is a factor in the divorce, the judge has the right to make an allowance to either spouse out of the estate of either spouse, or not make an allowance as the circumstances of the case may justify. However, any property acquired prior to the marriage of the parties or by inheritance or gift may not be considered in determining the amount of alimony.

Child Custody
Child support is determined using the Income Shares model, with the theory that children should continue to receive that same amount of support as if the parents were still together.

Child Custody
The courts in Alabama strives to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. The court shall in every case consider joint custody, however it may award any form of custody which is determined to be in the best interest of the child.

Joint custody does not necessarily mean equal physical custody. In determining whether joint custody is in the best interest of the child, courts typically consider the same factors considered in awarding sole legal and physical custody and all of the following factors:

1. The agreement or lack of agreement of the parents on joint custody
2. The past and present ability of the parents to cooperate with each other and make decisions jointly
3. The ability of the parents to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other parent
4. Any history of or potential for child abuse, spouse abuse, or kidnapping
5. The geographic proximity of the parents to each other as this relates to the practical considerations of joint physical custody

 

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Going through a divorce can be a stressful time for most people. When a marital relationship fails, all parties, not just the husband and wife are affected; dependant children, relatives and friends all feel the pain of separation and ultimately legal divorce. As a Birmingham, Alabama, divorce lawyer and family law attorney, my job is two-fold: First, to provide my client with a strong and well-planned approach to the legal aspects of the separation, and second, to offer compassionate and informed counsel in a time of emotional upheaval.

Having an experienced attorney by one’s side is paramount when working through the various steps of legal separation and divorce. I have the training to make the process as smooth as can possibly be expected under the circumstances. The many legal terms and conditions can be confusing for some people, which is why I always recommend finding a competent divorce lawyer right off the bat.

Here are some of the legal terms you may run across when facing a divorce or separation in the state of Alabama.

Legal Separation
Here in Alabama, the state recognizes legal separation. Courts will typically enter a decree of legal separation if all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met
2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart
3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with the law

Property Division
Alabama is an equitable distribution state, which means that if the parties can't agree, the property will be distributed in an equitable fashion, not necessarily equally. All property of the wife, held by her previous to the marriage or to which she may become entitled after the marriage in any manner, is the separate property of the wife and is not subject to the liabilities of the husband. All property of the wife, whether acquired by descent or inheritance, or gift, devise or bequest, or by contract or conveyance, or by gift from or contract with the husband, is the separate property of the wife within the meaning of, and is subject to all the provisions of, this chapter, saving and excepting only such property as may be conveyed to an active trustee for her benefit.

Additional information will be included next week in part two of this discussion. 

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The causes for divorce are many, but one of the primary reasons couples in Alabama get divorced is due to issues surrounding money. Whether it’s poor financial planning, excessive spending by one or both spouses or simply constant disagreement over household financial priorities, money can be the bane of a marital relationship. A surprisingly large percentage of people who become legally separated, as well as those who actually go through divorce, will tell you that money was the culprit.

As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I’ll add that it’s not just money, but the lack of communication about money that trips people up. A good marriage thrives on communication. Lack of communication hardly ever helps a relationship survive and often leads to divorce.

A recent New York Times article addressed this subject. There are several things to keep in mind when approaching the subject of household finances. Whether you’re living together and planning to get married, or married already, these pointers may make the difference in whether or not your future together will be relatively smooth going or rocky from the start.

Money: Topics of Conversation

1. Explore with your partner each other’s background as it applies to financial education. Did your parents teach you about money and personal finances? And what is your “financial philosophy”?
2. Talk about credit. Does each person know his or her credit score? Be honest about why your score may be low or how it could be improved. How can your credit scores and credit history affect your future as a married couple? Will they affect your goals?
3. Discuss who will take the lead in handling the family finances. Who handles it now? And who will decide how much each person can spend in order to maintain a positive cash flow for the family?
4. Talk about where you want to be financially in five years. Where do you want to be in 10 or 20 years? And what are your individual goals for retirement?

Marital Finances: For Richer, For Poorer
It’s hard to get through modern life these days without money, but when two people commit legally to each other, as with a marriage, each other’s finances become tied together, legally. A couple looking toward marriage should consider how the future combining of that pool of savings, income and finances will affect their life together. It can make for a smooth transition to a happy and growing marital relationship.

As a divorce lawyer in Alabama, I’ve seen the result of poor financial planning and bad money management and how these can negatively impact a marriage. Love may be the reason you got together, but money can be your undoing. My advice is to be open and talk about each other’s wants and needs. You may find that it’s liberating and takes the guesswork out of planning for your happy future together.

 

Money Talks to Have Before Marriage, NYTimes.com, October 23, 2009

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These days everyone is concerned about their future. Individuals facing marriage are no different and that is why many people considering marriage look at a prenuptial agreement as a way of preserving their property in case the marriage somehow does not work out. While a “prenup” should not be looked at as foreshadowing a future breakdown (and possible divorce) in a marital relationship, it is many times a necessary “evil” in these uncertain times.

As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I’ve helped many clients craft their prenuptial agreements based on their own set of personal circumstances. Whether you are a future husband or wife, a big concern for many folks is how even the suggestion of a prenup will affect their relationship heading into marriage. Frankly, if both partners are adults, it should not affect their romantic relationship one bit.

From a legal standpoint, a prenuptial agreement is simply a written document created between the bride and groom prior to the marriage ceremony and exchanging of vows. Like any agreement, the prenup addresses property settlements in the event of divorce -- this may or may not include other legal considerations, such as additional obligations that may arise during the marriage.

For couples in Alabama, the law provides for certain required procedures during the creation of the prenup. These include full financial disclosure between the two parties. An important point to make here is that the law in no uncertain terms prohibits a prenuptial agreement if either party has not truthfully represented the facts.

While prenuptial agreements became well known years ago as the wealthy person’s prerequisite to marriage, these documents have becomes more and more common among individuals of more modest means. Perhaps even more important for those who have worked so hard for just a modest nest egg or investment property, prenuptial agreements are a means of reassuring the soon-to-be spouses that each party’s assets are protected.

Not just a way of preserving one’s wealth in the event of a divorce, prenuptial agreements can also be used in the event of death or to establish other postnuptial agreements.

Another use for a prenup is when entering into a second marriage. Since an individual may have sizable assets from a previous marriage, creating a prenuptial agreement is a way of retain sole ownership of those assets so that they may be passed onto any children from the first marriage, for example.

As with any legal document -- to ensure that a prenuptial agreement is valid and to be sure that both partner’s rights are protected -- I highly recommend that each party consult with their own separate attorneys prior to entering into the prenup. It may not be the most romantic aspect of marriage, but it could make your future that much more secure.

 

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Marriage is a sacred institution which sometimes becomes a trial for those ill-suited to the needs of another, or the sacrifices which a marital partnership requires. As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I have helped many couples through their individual rough patches. Unfortunately, even the best of counseling cannot hold together a relationship that has fallen apart. That is when legal separation or actual divorce become the only alternative, sad to say.

To begin, in Alabama a valid marriage is marked by a number of conditions. Each of these, and as a group, helps to define what is or is not a legal marriage in the state of Alabama. They include the following:

• Nobody under 14 years of age has the capacity to contract marriage
• For all persons under the age of 18, the consent of a parent or guardian is absolutely required
• Both parties to the marriage must be of sound mind
• Each must be able to contract marriage, and
• The parties cannot be related, at least within a prohibited degree as defined by the state

The Alabama Marriage Protection Act, which was made into law in 1998, specifies that marriage is an inherently unique relationship between a man and a women. A marriage contracted between individuals of the same sex is invalid in Alabama. ALA. CODE 30-1-19(b) (1975). Furthermore, the act also holds that the State of Alabama shall not recognize the marriage of parties of the same sex from other states.

Finally, a marriage cannot exist without the mutual consent of both parties. Since consent is lacking if a previous marriage existed, or when consent is procured by duress, a marriage is not valid when obtained under either circumstance. This is when my work as a divorce lawyer must inevietably come into play. Divorce legally separates and divides a family's assets, and in some cases it actually divides the family. But this is a discussion for another time.

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Alabama is a state that recognizes legal separation. As a Birmingham divorce attorney, a certain percentage of my clients typically ask about this option as an alternative to divorce. Legal separation, which is sometimes referred to as "judicial separation," "separate maintenance" or "divorce a mensa et thoro" (translation: "divorce from bed-and-board"), is way in which a married couple may legally formalize what can be a de facto separation while at the same time remaining legally married.

People choose legal separation for a number of reasons, but it usually is done if there is still some hope of saving the marriage, or if one or both of the parties (or even their families) have a moral or religious objection to divorce.

For the state of Alabama to recognize a legal separation, the parties shall enter a decree of legal separation if all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met
2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart
3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with Rule 32 of the Alabama Rules of Judicial Administration

As implied above, a legal separation does not necessarily lead to a divorce. It does leave the door open to reconciliation, in which case the parties usually need not do anything more, as they are still legally married. If, however, the couple does not manage to find common ground, they may then wish to go through with a divorce, which must be filed for explicitly.

As an Alabama family law and divorce lawyer, I have handled many legal separations as well as helped cleints through divorces. The law can many times be complex and confusing. A qualified legal professional with experience in family law can be a great help when guiding people through the legal process during what can be a truly difficult and emotional time.

 

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As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney serving residents throughout Alabama, one of the most common question I am asked by folks is, “What are the legal grounds for divorce here in Alabama?” Another frequent question is, “What kind of residency requirement is needed to file for divorce in this state?” This last one is simple: One of the parties must be a bona fide resident of Alabama six months before the filing of the complaint.

As for the first question, legal grounds for divorce in Alabama can be determined by asking the following questions. Answering yes to any one of these will give you some idea as to whether or not you have grounds for divorce:

1. At the time of the marriage, was either party physically and incurably incapacitated from entering into the marriage state?
2. Was there adultery?
3. Did one of the parties voluntary abandon from bed and board one year prior to the filing of the complaint?
4. Was one of the spouses imprisoned in an Alabama of other state’s penitentiary for two years, with the sentence being for seven years or longer?
5. Did one party commit a crime against nature, whether with mankind or beast, either before or after marriage?
6. Was there an addiction to alcohol or drugs after the marriage?
7. Are the spouses incompatible?
8. Has one of the spouses been confined in a mental hospital for a period of five successive years, and as such is that party hopelessly and incurably insane at the time of the filing of the complaint?
9. Has there been an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage where further attempts at reconciliation are impractical or futile and not in the best interests of the parties or the family?
10. Was the wife pregnant at the time of marriage, without the husband’s knowledge or agency? (In favor of the husband)
11. Has either of the parties to the marriage been subject to domestic violence or had reasonable apprehension of such violence?
12. Has the wife lived separate and apart from the bed and board of the husband for two years and been without support from him for two years next preceding the filing of the complaint, and has she bona fide resided in this state during said period? (In favor of the wife)

Many of these questions are easy to answer, however some are more difficult and require an experienced eye. As an Alabama divorce lawyer, my practice deals with these questions and numerous other issues on a daily basis. As with any legal question, I highly recommend that anyone contemplating divorce seek the counsel of a qualified divorce and family law attorney to learn more completely what his or her options may be in situations as sensitive as divorce and legal separation.

 

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With an apparent trend lower in the divorce rate across the country and likely in Alabama as well, many couples might feel that cohabitation is a viable alternative to marriage. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I know the pitfalls of this kind of approach to a long-term relationship. When it comes to separation and divorce, one or both of the parties in a live-in relationship may think they are avoiding the complications associated with a traditional marriage, but you might be surprised to know that this may not be the case here in Alabama.

Certainly, it seems that on the surface cohabitation free one party from any legal responsibility to the other in cases where the relationship doesn’t work out and the two people part ways. However, Alabama is one of the few states that still recognizes common law marriage, which is defined roughly as a union between two people not formalized in the customary manner as prescribed by law but created by an agreement to marry followed by cohabitation.

Furthermore, cohabitating couples in Alabama may be shocked to learn that they could already be married in the eyes of the law, and with that, be affected by the same laws that pertain to other, legally married couples in terms of divorce, spousal and child support, division of property and other aspects of a divorce. Even if divorce is not the issue, there are other aspects that may be of particular importance to one or the other party, such as property ownership, rights of survivorship, spousal benefits, and other marital amenities.

Although common law marriage is prohibited in most parts of the United States, the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution requires all states that prohibit it to nonetheless recognize a common law marriage created in a jurisdiction that allows it, such as Alabama. In fact, the laws in all states require a common-law spouse to obtain a divorce before remarrying.

With so much at stake, an Alabama lawyer trained in divorce and family law should be sought in matters such as this, because the tests for common law marriage in Alabama can be vague at best. Should a court decide that the couple qualifies as being in a common law marriage, all the legal processes that apply to a legal marriage would apply.

Because of this, if someone in a current cohabitation arrangement feels that he or she may want to leave the relationship now or in the future, it would be wise to enlist the help of a qualified legal professional to sort out the legal standing of that particular relationship.
 

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Divorce. It can be messy. It’s never easy. And many folks have been there. One thing I can tell you without hesitation, as an experienced Alabama divorce lawyer, you sometimes have to make a compromise to get the best outcome. Working out of Birmingham, AL, I’ve represented numerous spouses seeking separation or divorce. An uncontested divorce is not uncommong, but many divorces are fraught with challenges from both sides. Many of my past clients believed that mediation was out of the question, mainly because they were totally in the right and there “less-than-better-half” was completely in the wrong.

One thing you must consider when contemplating this kind of all-or-nothing approach is that the court may not agree with you. But listening to your divorce attorney is the best thing you can do. I and other family law attorneys across the state of Alabama know how divorce court functions. Whether you’re here in Birmingham, or out in Tuscaloosa, in and around Bessemer, or over by Gadsden, you’ll hear similar advice. Knowing when to compromise, versus taking your divorce to trial, is critical to a successful and satisfying outcome.

A family law attorney can guide you through a divorce with better judgment than if you drive the bus yourself. Without compromise, you will likely have to take your divorce case to trial, which in itself can be a difficult decision for any husband or wife. At the same time, by going to trial you are taking your chances not only with the outcome, but also with the cost -- in terms of time and money -- of extended litigation.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge that no person involved in a divorce wants to consent to an agreement that does not fully protect his or her property rights, future financial security or the custody of the children, if any. But naturally, if you do to go to trial with your divorce case, you will definitely benefit from an experienced and dedicated attorney by your side who will passionately advocate for the protection of your rights and seek the best possible results on your behalf.

So if you’re contemplating divorce, please consider the realities of your situation and try to put your emotions on the back burner. A little anger is healthy, but too much can cloud your thinking and cause you to make choices that you may regret later on. Pay attention to what your lawyer has to say. His or her opinion can be more valuable than you might imagine.
 

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For those looking at divorce in the near future, a significant number may also be wondering about the potential custody arrangement for your children. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I’ve lent my shoulder to many a parent, but it’s the kids that make this job tough. Last week I explained legal custody and joint custody. Right now, I’ll pick up with sole and joint custody to round things out.

Sole Custody
In this scenario, one parent can have either sole legal custody or sole physical custody of a child. In many states, divorce courts are moving away from awarding sole custody to one parent and toward increasing the role a divorced father plays in his children's lives. Even when courts do grant sole physical custody, it is common for both parents to share joint legal custody, with the non-custodial parent enjoying a generous visitation schedule.

With this arrangement, the parents make joint decisions about the child's upbringing, with one parent deemed the primary physical caretaker and the other granted visitation rights. Courts hardly ever hesitate to grant sole physical custody to one parent if the other is deemed unfit -- this can include instances of drug or alcohol abuse, when the other parent has a new partner who is unfit for similar reasons, or if there are charges of child abuse or neglect.

I’ve seen many cases where one or the other spouse harbors a great deal of animosity toward the other, but believe me, it's wiser not to seek sole custody unless the other parent causes direct harm to the children. Even in such cases, the courts have been known to simply allow supervised visitation, while still ordering joint legal custody.

 
Joint Custody
Also known as shared custody, joint custody is reserved for parents who don't live together but who share the decision-making responsibilities for, and/or physical control and custody of, their children. Joint custody can exist if the parents are divorced, separated, or no longer cohabiting, or even if they never lived together in the first place. Joint custody can be legal, physical or both.

It is common for couples who share physical custody to also share legal custody, but not necessarily the other way around. And when parents share joint custody, they usually create a schedule based on their work and housing arrangements as well as the children's needs. If the parents cannot agree on a schedule, the court will impose an arrangement.

In this case, a common pattern is for children to split weeks between each parent's house or apartment. Other joint physical custody arrangements include alternating months, years, or six-month periods; or spending weekends and holidays with one parent, while spending weekdays with the other.

Joint custody allows kids to have more continuous contact and involvement with both parents, plus it also spreads out the burdens of parenting to each party. Like anything in life, there are always disadvantages, such as:

• Shuttling the children around can be costly and time-consuming
• Any potential parental non-cooperation or ill will can have seriously negative effects on the kids
• Maintaining two homes for the children can be expensive

One thing to keep in mind regarding joint custody is to keep detailed and organized financial records of all your expenses. Keep your receipts for groceries, school supplies and items for after-school activities, clothing, and medical care. The reason for this is simple. It is possible that some ex-spouses may claim they spent more money on the kids than you have -- keep in mind that a judge will appreciate the fact that you maintained detailed records.

Bird's Nest Custody
One variation on joint custody is the so-called “bird's nest custody.” This custody arrangement allows the children to remain in one residence year-round, while the parents take turns moving in and out, spending their own individual visitation time with the kids on their home turf, while maintaining separate housing elsewhere. The expense of a third house may preclude this type of arrangement for most people, but I include it here as just one more option. I can provide more help and suggestions, so if you would like a free initial consultation, please contact us anytime.

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If you’re reading this, you’re probably facing divorce. More than likely, you have at least one child and you’re worried how much time you’ll get to spend with him or her after the divorce. It may not be much comfort, but you’re not alone -- each year more than one million couples on average get divorced nationwide.

From the standpoint of a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I can tell you there are several ways to go with custody. You should learn the difference between each type so you know going forward which is the best for your situation. I’ll explain two types today: legal custody and physical custody. We’ll save sole custody and joint custody for another time.

Legal Custody
As a parent with legal custody, you would have the right -- as well as the obligation -- to make all-important decisions about your child's upbringing. This includes choices pertaining to schooling, religion, and medical care, among others. In many states, courts typically grant joint legal custody, which means that both parents share in the decision-making process.

Remember that if you share legal custody with the other parent and you exclude that person from the decision process, your ex can ask the court to enforce the joint custody agreement. The court won’t fine you or send you to jail, but the episode will more than likely create additional friction between you and your former spouse, which is not going to help your kids, who should be foremost in your mind.

If the exclusion is based on some deeper issues (such as a history of abuse, etc.), you can ask the court to change the custody agreement and grant you sole custody. Be aware, however, that most states will usually lean toward joint legal custody, unless you can persuade the court otherwise. This is where a good divorce attorney can really come in handy.
 

Physical Custody
A grant of physical custody gives a parent the right to have a child live with him or her. Some states will award joint physical custody to both parents when the child spends significant amounts of time with both parents. In cases where the child lives primarily with one parent, and has visitation with the other, the parent with whom the child primarily lives will usually have sole physical custody, with visitation rights granted to the other parent. This works best if the parents live close by, which also helps to reduce children’s stress levels by allowing them to maintain a somewhat normal routine.
 

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Going through a divorce in Alabama is hard enough, but picking up the pieces and getting on with your life afterward can be a major challenge as well. One thing that can’t be ignored are your finances. This can be a big hurdle, because usually one or the other spouse was the “accountant” in the relationship. Still, even savvy domestic money manages can use some advice.

Working here in Birmingham as a family law and divorce attorney, I am frequently asked by clients what their strategy should be regarding the financial side of a divorce settlement. Knowing your money situation and other household finances is a big part of this. Also, understanding the tax implications of certain payments will make your life that much easier in the long run. Below are some typical mistakes that people going through divorce tend to make.

Number One: Hanging on to the house at all costs
This is not necessarily the best option. According to financial experts, more attention should be given to which person can afford to maintain the property -- including paying the mortgage and managing the taxes. However, don’t think that getting spousal support to help with the mortgage payments will keep you on easy street. Large unexpected costs, such as a new furnace or other large-scale maintenance usually happen sometime or another, which can make home ownership more of a burden and les of a luxury.

Number Two: Failing to make a clean financial break with your ex-spouse
Cleanly separating each of your debts and assets, especially if you have been married for a long time, can be a difficult task, but a very necessary one. Most any financial counselor will tell you this is absolutely necessary, and the consequences of not doing so can be devastating. It may seem overwhelming, but the alternative is many times worse. You don’t want to have your ex racking up debt and ruining your personal credit score.

Number Three: Counting on your ex to comply with his financial obligations
While both parties in a divorce are beholden to the court-ordered divorce agreement, creditors do not fall under that arrangement. If your ex is supposed to pay the mortgage but fails to do so, the lender is apt to sue you both. And any missed payments or a default on a mortgage will hurt you next time you apply for a loan.

Number Four: Not reviewing your estate plan following your divorce
Wills and trusts can both be seriously impacted by divorce proceedings. If a divorced spouse waits too long to change the beneficiary on a will or life insurance policy, the money could end up going to the wrong person, and your new spouse may get nothing. It seems incredible, but there have been instances where an ex-spouse inherits money from a former wife or husband.

Number Five: Not understanding the different tax treatments for alimony and child support
As a last note, you should always be aware of which amount of money in your divorce settlement goes for alimony, and which goes for child support. Whereas child support payments are exempt from tax by the recipient, alimony payments are taxable. Also, remember that there are limits to how long a person can receive these payments. For instance, child support payments can no longer be received once the child turns 18 years of age, or is finished with college, and spousal support typically ceases once that person gets remarried.

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The Alabama Court of Civil Appeals recently ruled that a prenuptial agreement signed by future husband and wife-to-be one day before their wedding is valid and fully enforceable. Live and learn would be the motto related to this latest court ruling, since the document protected the groom’s millions, while the bride apparently will be entitled to the love of their relationship going forward. Should a divorce loom in their future, the wife has little or no recourse.

Actually, this is a lesson to anyone considering a prenuptial agreement prior to getting married. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I find this story quite sobering for clients and lawyers alike. The woman, in this case a real estate professional, was very familiar through her line of work with the power and durability of a signed legal document. But seemingly, in this instance, love had made her temporarily blind. Consulting a lawyer would have sharpened her vision substantially.

As a basis for its ruling, the Alabama Court of Civil Appeals found that the wife was not prevented from reading the agreement, nor was she unfamiliar with reviewing something as important as a legal document prior to placing her signature upon it. And the fact that the prenup was signed by both parties just one day before the wedding was not considered sufficient to invalidate the agreement.

Apparently, the court also found it was important that the wife-to-be knew the husband was a “millionaire” prior to the marriage, and therefore was aware of the general extent of his assets at the time she signed the agreement. She exhibited a brief moment of clarity, as reports show that she had attempted to seek legal advice. However, when she learned that her lawyer was not available, she decided not to seek alternate counsel and signed the document anyway.

Even the most uninformed can see here that it was a mistake for this woman to sign a prenuptial agreement without consulting an attorney. At the very least, it was a risky proposition to be signing such a document just one day before the wedding. For future reference, it is always wise for both parties to work on a prenuptial agreement together, and then to have attorneys for the individual parties review the document prior to signing. That way, there should be no unpleasant surprises -- and less chance for bad blood between the newly married couple.

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As a Birmingham Divorce and Family Law Attorney, I’ve consulted both women and men regarding prenuptial agreements. One of the major concerns these folks have is how such an agreement, or just the suggestion of it, reflects on the couple’s romantic relationship.

To many, the mere mention of a prenup makes them squirm. So it should come as no great surprise that most people are very apprehensive about broaching the subject with a potential spouse. One of the biggest worries is that it calls into question their love for the other person, or worse, that the agreement itself is just setting up the relationship for eventual failure and divorce. Well, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Sure. The majority of people probably think a prenup is anti-romance -- an indication of distrust of the other person, certainly not love. I’m here to tell you that’s the wrong way of looking at it. To the contrary, drawing up a prenuptial agreement side-by-side with your future husband or wife can be a sign of incredible trust and financial openness.

Basically, a prenuptial agreement is a written document created between spouses prior to the exchange of marriage vows. These agreements often address property settlements in the event of divorce, and may include other legal issues, such as additional obligations that will arise during marriage. Under Alabama law, certain procedures are required during the formation of the prenup, such as full financial disclosure between the two parties. The law also prohibits prenuptial agreements if they are not truthfully represented.

Although prenups have historically been tagged as wealthy society’s prerequisite to marriage, they have actually become more commonplace with the rest of us. Often created before first or subsequent marriages, they are a means of reassuring the soon-to-be spouses that each party’s assets are protected. Prenuptial agreements can be used in the event of divorce, death, or to establish other postnuptial agreements.

More importantly, and something many people don’t usually consider, is how useful a prenuptial agreement can be in the case of an impending second marriage. This is because there may be sizable assets from the previous marriage that the individual may want to retain sole ownership of -- so she can pass those along to any children from the first marriage, for example.

Remember, a court can refuse to enforce portions of a prenuptial agreement, not to mention the entire document altogether, under certain circumstances such as if assets were hidden or if there is evidence that the agreement was created in haste.

As with any legal document -- to ensure that your prenuptial agreement is valid and to be sure that your rights are protected -- I highly recommend that each party consult with their own attorney prior to entering into the prenup. It may not be seem like the most romantic part of getting hitched, but it could very well make your future together that much more secure.

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Divorce in Alabama, or anywhere else across the country, is a painful and difficult process. As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney, I remind anyone considering divorce to enter carefully and deliberately. Especially for young married couples with children, this can be an extremely stressful and highly emotional time.

When children are part of the equation, parents going through a divorce can encounter numerous other pressures. One source of pressure comes very often from the grandparents of children affected by the divorce. Recently, an Alabama appeals court decided a case where the paternal grandparents sought unsupervised visitation rights against the wishes of the mother.

The Alabama Court of Civil Appeals overturned a trial judge’s ruling that permitted the paternal grandparents visitation of their grandchild without the mother’s presence. This is good news for custodial parents, because even though the grandparents in question reportedly had a very active role in the child’s life prior to the divorce, the appeals court ruled in favor of the custodial parent. Upon reversing the earlier decision, the Court of Appeals held that it would be improper to place grandparents' rights over those of a fit parent.

The law’s outlook on grandparent visitation has been in flux since 2000, when the United States Supreme Court rendered its opinion in Troxell v. Granville. Yet with this recent Alabama decision -- and other similar rulings occurring nationwide -- it looks as though grandparents will find it more and more difficult to receive court ordered visitation, unless there are substantial allegations, backed by findings that the custodial parent is unfit to act in the child’s best interest.

If you are looking for an Alabama divorce attorney or family law lawyer, please feel free to contact my office today. At Eversole Law, we strive to be a different kind of law firm. If you or a family member needs help with a divorce, we will treat you with all the caring and compassion you deserve.

 

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As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney, I have seen the good and the bad when it comes to divorce in Alabama. I know the heartbreak and hard feelings that can arise during life-changing events such as separation and divorce. My knowledge and experience give me the tools to help clients through those roughest of times.

One thing that makes my job both difficult and rewarding is the children. Divorce is very trying especially when kids are involved, and I’ve had many clients confide in me that they didn’t know how to break the news to their children, or even how to behave toward their kids once all was said and done. But youngsters are resilient, and if anything, parents must remember that children, as members of the family, have rights and deserve your respect.

It is sometimes hard to take into account a child’s needs amidst all the other aspects of a divorce, such as division of assets, spousal support and guardianship. Therefore, if you are considering divorce, or know someone who is going through or contemplating such an action, you may want to keep the following list in mind regarding the younger members of the household. Kids need and have the right to the following, especially in times of family upheaval:

• Being free of the conflict between the parents
• Developing and maintaining an independent relationship with each parent
• Being free from having to take over the parental responsibility for making custody and/or visitation decisions
• Being free from having to take sides with, defend, or lessen the value of either parent
• Being guided, taught, supervised, disciplined and nurtured by each parent, without interference from the other parent
• Being financially supported by both parents, regardless of how much time is spent with each parent
• Spending time with each parent, regardless of whether or not financial support is given
• Having a personal sleeping area and space for possessions in each parent’s home
• Being physically safe and adequately supervised when in the care of each parent
• Having a stable, consistent and responsible child care arrangement when not supervised by the parents
• Developing and maintaining meaningful relationships with other significant adults, as long as these relationships do not interfere with or replace the children’s primary relationship with their parents
• Expecting that both parents will follow through with the child care plan, honoring specific commitments for scheduled time with the children
• Expecting that both parents stay informed about medical, dental, educational and legal matters concerning the children, unless such disclosure would prove harmful to the children
• Expecting that their parents will consider any special needs (developmental, mental, emotional or physical) they might have when arranging a child care plan
• Participating in age-appropriate activities so long as these activities do not significantly impair their relationship with either parent

Should you need professional legal advice on divorce, child custody or any other area of family law, we at Eversole Law are ready, willing and able to help. We have the expertise and compassion to guide you through this difficult time.

 

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Under Alabama divorce law it is possible to obtain temporary alimony from your spouse while the divorce is proceeding.  An Alabama divorce lawyer will file a motion for Pendente Lite with the court in order to obtain this temporary support.  Pendente lite is Latin for "while the action is pending."  Temporary alimony or support in Alabama is often required when a spouse cannot sustain the same standard of living during the divorce she/he would have maintained prior to the divorce proceedings.  Often, temporary support is given to spouses going through an Alabama divorce proceeding when the spouse has no other assets, i.e. a stay at home mom and wife without any other income.  However, even with additional income, if you are unable to maintain the same standard of living to which you are accustomed, you may be eligible for temporary alimony during the Alabama divorce. 

Temporary alimony is just that, temporary.  It will end when the divorce ends and will be replaced by a final spousal support award.  If you are experiencing difficulties in maintaining your standard of living during a divorce, you owe it to yourself to contact an experienced Alabama Divorce lawyer and attorney as soon as possible.  The Alabama divorce and family law attorneys and lawyers of Eversole Law will make sure you get the Alabama temporary support and alimony you deserve. 

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A court in India made an interesting divorce ruling today.  A court in New Delhi ruled that a person whose spouse is found to have HIV Aids is entitled to a divorce.  The court found sex to be an integral part of the marriage and the wife's HIV status prevented the husband from having a "happy married life," because they could not have sex without the fear of transmitting the disease. 

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Here at the Birmingham, Alabama Divorce and Family Law blog we have been following the trials and tribulations of Britney Spears as she engaged in a vicious custody battle with her ex-husband K-Fed.  Today, Britney lost her battle and lost custody of her children.  I pontificated in an earlier post that Britney would lose her kids if she continued to abuse alcohol and drugs, and she did.  This should be a warning to everyone going through an Alabama child custody dispute.  Do not give your ex-spouse ammunition in a child custody proceeding by taking alcohol or drugs. 

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In Alabama, when a divorce has been granted in favor of one party based upon the misconduct of the other party, the judge may grant awards from the estate of the spouse committing the misconduct to the other spouse.  The misconduct itself may also be used by the judge in determining the amount of the award.  However, this provision is subject to the marital property rule and/or the inheritance rule.  In general, property held by a party prior to the marriage, or property received by inheritance or gift,  is not marital property and cannot be distributed to the other party during a divorce.  Alabama Code Section 30-2-52 defines how a judge may award property after granting a divorce based upon misconduct.   

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My Alabama divorce law practice is focused upon making Alabama divorce as simple, and as affordable as possible.  Too many Alabama divorce lawyers seem to think that charging high fees makes them important.  My firm is different.  No matter where you are located, whether you live in Birmingham, Huntsville, Montgomery, Mobile, Tuscaloosa, Cullman, Fultondale, Hueytown, Gardendale, Bessemer, Decatur, Guntersville, Scottsboro, Hoover, Pelham, Trussville, Moody, Leeds, Pell City, Homewood, Vestavia Hills, Mountain Brook,  or whether you live in Jefferson County, Madison County, Montgomery County, Walker County, or Mobile County; my firm believes in providing the very best divorce and family law service at reasonable and affordable prices.  We offer several means of payment to make it easier to obtain high quality divorce and family law legal representation.  On top of our already competitive pricing, we accept major credit cards and will even work out payment plans.  Our goal is to be the best and most affordable divorce and family law lawyers and attorneys in Alabama.  If  you can find higher quality Alabama divorce or family law legal representation, at more affordable prices, you should hire them. 

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I am a Birmingham, Alabama divorce and family law attorney who represents clients in Jefferson County, Shelby County, Madison County, and throughout the state of Alabama in places like Vestavia Hills, Trussville, Mountain Brook, Hoover, Irondale, Homewood, Gardendale, Fultondale, Hueytown, Moody, Leeds, Pelham, Tuscaloosa, Huntsville, Montgomery, and Mobile.  My practice focuses on helping families with divorce and family law, child custody, visitation, adoption, alimony, child support, prenuptial agreements, divorce child psychology, divorce mediation and collaborative law. 

We work tirelessly to help your family make it through difficult times, and we are here 24/7 for our clients.  Just today, a client seeking a divorce from Birmingham, Alabama called me at 11:30 p.m. to mostly weep and vent about her husband's divorce tactics.  I listened patiently and tried my best to be more than her lawyer.  I want my firm to be a comfort during your most troubling times.  I believe that to be a good lawyer you have to be a good listener.  Sometimes that means taking the extra time with each client.  It can also mean not taking as many clients as you might otherwise.  I limit the number of cases I take at any one time in order to devote more of my time to you personally.  It may not be the best business strategy, but it is how I would want to be treated in similar circumstances, and I believe that giving a little more of yourself will not only help my clients, but in the long run, it will make me a better person, and make people speak well of me at my funeral.  I also try very hard to make quality divorce and family law representation affordable. 

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I received a call from a client today in Birmingham, Alabama.  I realized people contemplating divorce across Jefferson County, including Vestavia, Mountain Brook, Homewood, Leeds, Bessemer, Hoover, Pelham, Trussville, Gardendale, Fultondale, Fairfield, Moody, Pleasant Grove, Adamsville and Hueytown, as well as all across Alabama in places like Huntsville, Montgomery, Tuscaloosa and Mobile, are all concerned about Alabama divorce laws. 

One of the most frequent questions I encounter about Alabama divorce laws, in Birmingham and all across the State of Alabama, and especially from women,  is "How do I support myself during the divorce?"  The answer is simple.  I will file a motion for Pendente Lite.  That motion will provide temporary support from your husband while you are going through a divorce.  This kind of support is very similar to alimony.  It allows you to continue living as you currently are while the Alabama divorce proceedings are under way.  Once the divorce is finalized you will then be eligible for alimony.  Alimony is intended to keep you relatively in the same economic position you are in during the marriage.  In that way, alimony and temporary support are very similar.  Both provide you with a means to continue your way of life for a period of time.  Motions for Pendente Lite only covers support during the divorce proceedings itself.  So, your husband or wife can't just kick you out of the house, cut off your credit cards, take the car, etc.

The Alabama Code Section 30-2-50 allows for this kind of temporary support pending the divorce action.  It provides for the allowance for support during the pendency of action.

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As most of you know Britney Spears and her former husband K-Fed, are in a bitter custody dispute.  K-Fed is attempting to modify the previous custody agreement.  Today, the judge ordered Britney to undergo testing for controlled substances and alcohol, after finding Britney has engaged in continuous and frequent abuse of alcohol and drugs. If Britney keeps this up she will lose custody of  her kids.  It is a shame because we all know K-Fed is really after child support.  The judge also ordered both Britney and K-Fed to complete a Parenting Without Conflict program. He also ordered that neither parent shall consume alcohol or other non-prescription drugs, for a 12 hour period previous to a time when either parent has responsibility for care and custody of their children.

This case is an excellent example of children being used as a battering ram in a divorce proceeding.  Unfortunately, this kind of thing is not uncommon.  K-Fed is using the children to obtain more child support money from the divorce.  This kind of tactic only ends up hurting your children, and yourself in the long run.

This case should also illustrate, that if you are engaged in a divorce or custody battle you should refrain from using alcohol or drugs pending the outcome of the proceedings.  If you are using any kind of drugs or alcohol during a child custody proceeding or divorce, you are simply giving the other side ammunition to attack your credibility, morals and fitness to take care of your children(whether this is fair or not, it is the truth).

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Not surprisingly, a divorce has significant consequences for children.  This site is devoted to helping parents deal with the ramifications of divorce.  It is not an option to, "stay together for the kids."  This kind of thinking only ends up hurting your children in the long run.  But we can do everything in our power to lessen the traumatic impact a divorce has on our kids.  Although many children go through their parents divorce with relatively few negative or permanent side effects, a divorce can be devastating for some children.  The changes in living arrangements, less time with one parent, etc, can be a harsh experience for some.  Based upon my experience, the best thing a parent can do to limit the negative impact a divorce has on their children is to act civilly towards your ex.  Some good rules of thumb are as follows:

• Do not argue in front of your kids in person or on the phone
• Actively pursue an amicable relationship with your ex
• Try not to bad mouth your ex in front of the kids
• Find support for you and your children
• Try to maintain your child's regular routine

 

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 Big divorce news in Atlanta.  Evangelist Juanita Bynum has had enough.  She filed papers seeking a divorce from her husband, Bishop Thomas W. Weeks III this past Monday, September 10, 2007.  According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, divorce papers accuse the Bishop of "beating, stomping and choking" his wife.  It is sad commentary on our times, that a supposed man of God, is being accused of domestic violence.  True or not, this kind of press is bad for the truly religious. If true, it is just another example of a con artist taking money in the guise of religion.  No true man of God(or any real-man for that matter) would ever put a hand to his wife.  That being said, it is not uncommon in divorce or child custody cases for one party, normally the wife, to accuse their spouse of some kind of domestic violence.  Accusing your spouse of domestic or child abuse can be an unscrupulous means to gain the advantage during divorce or custody proceedings. 

 

 

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A great resource for parents going through a divorce, Breakthrough Parenting offers some interesting insights into better parenting.  They offer help for divorcing parents and offer classes in becoming a certified parenting coach.  In today's world, we cannot do everything alone.  This website gives parents some much needed advice. Dealing with your children who often do not understand the situation is very hard.  While we cannot eliminate these kind of stresses, my firm tries to limit them.  We are here to help you through this very difficult time.  I want my office to be more than just a law firm.  When you retain my firm we are here through thick and thin, to the very end, and we are on call 24/7.

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DivorceSupport.com is a fantastic resource for people facing divorce.  The website has excellent Alabama divorce specific information.  They have articles on Alabama divorce, child support and child custody, residency requirements, grandparents rights and military divorce laws.  When you are going through a divorce you need as much information and support available.  My firm tries to provide you with the resources to make this process as simple as possible .  We also strive to give you all the information you need during these troubling times.  Knowing how the divorce or child custody process works will give you a certain amount of comfort.  I encourage my clients to learn as much as they can about their divorce and related issues.  The Internet is an amazing resource and should be used accordingly.

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The differences between mediation and collaborative law can be relatively minor.  Both mediation and collaborative law are alternative dispute resolution techniques that resolve a divorce without involving a court. Here is a link from divorcenet.com detailing the differences, advantages and disadvantages to both.  There is also some good information to aid in determining whether or not you would be a good candidate for the collaborative process.

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Collaborative law is a relatively new phenomenon in legal circles.  My firm believes that collaborative law is a very viable and healthy means to effectuate a divorce.  In fact, we stress collaborative processes and other alternative dispute resolution methods in order to keep your divorce costs low.  It is also a means to protect your family against the trauma often associated with contested and messy divorces.  We tailor your legal needs to the situation.  If you are a good candidate for mediation or collaborative law, we will pursue that option. If you are in need of aggressive litigation, we also provide those services.  However, I am here to help you.  And steering you towards a divorce that only fattens my pocket is not in your best interest, and is often not in your families long term interest either.  Resistance to the collaborative process seems to be primarily from old attorneys, who are holding on tightly to the past, and want to continue milking their clients for every dollar. 

Here is a nice article on the collaborative process. You will also find a basic introduction to the collaborative process reprinted from here:

What is Collaborative law?

When they separate or divorce, couples must find a way to resolve their differences on all relevant issues. Collaborative practice is designed to minimize conflict while working toward that resolution. Parties to divorce, their attorneys and any other professional involved, agree to make a good faith attempt to reach a mutually acceptable settlement without going to court. Working together, they strive to dissolve the marriage in a way that addresses everyone’s legal, financial, and emotional needs.

At the beginning of the process husband, wife, and both attorneys sign a Participation Agreement. The agreement requires both parties to:

1. exchange complete financial information so that each spouse can make well-informed decisions
2. maintain absolute confidentiality during the process, so that each spouse can feel free to express his or her needs and concerns,
3. reach written agreement on all issues and concerns outside of contested court proceedings
4. authorize the attorneys to use the written agreement to obtain a final court decree.

The parties may also agree to involve other professionals to assist in the process. These professionals are also bound by the terms of the Collaborative Agreement.

Is Collaborative Law right for you?

Collaborative law empowers spouses to dissolve their marriage with dignity.

Consider Collaborative law if you and your spouse:

• believe it is important to protect your children from the harm litigation can inflict
• place a high value on personal responsibility in resolving conflict
• are able to focus on a positive solution for the entire family
• want to preserve a respectful working relationship during and after the process is over
• see the need to disclose full and accurate information about financial issues

How it works

First, both spouses meet with their respective Collaborative attorneys to discuss individual needs and concerns. Then, the couple and their attorneys meet in four-way sessions to reach a settlement without involving the court. Every issue – including property division, parenting allocation, and support – is put “on the table” in these sessions. At times other professionals including Mental Health Professionals and Financial Experts may become part of the “team” to assist couples in reaching resolutions. Divorcing parties benefit from the skills, advice, and support of attorneys and other professionals while striving to work things out in a positive, future-focused manner.

When a settlement is reached, attorneys file the appropriate paperwork required by the court.

Key advantages

• You retain control. Though you each have a lawyer, you and your spouse take responsibility for shaping the settlement as the key members of the team.
• You gain support. You craft the settlement cooperatively with your spouse while benefiting from your attorney’s advocacy, problem-solving, and negotiating skills. You receive insight and support from other professionals who assist in identifying your interests and your children’s needs.
• You can focus on settlement. Removing the threat of “going to court” reduces anxiety and fear, thereby helping you focus on finding positive solutions.
• You lay groundwork for a better future. There is no pain-free way to end a marriage, but by reducing stress, working in a climate of cooperation, and treating each other with respect, you and your spouse are creating an environment in which you and your children can thrive.
• You get more from your resources. The collaborative process is usually less costly and time-consuming than litigation. When you reach an agreement, it can be finalized within a shorter time frame. You do not get bogged down for months while you wait for a court date.
• You negotiate a better settlement. Every family is unique and every family deserves a unique solution to the issues raised in a separation or divorce proceeding. The collaborative process produces final agreements that are frequently more detailed and complete than any order that would be issued by a judge after a contested court proceeding.

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Joint Custody is preferred and deemed to be in the best interest of the child.  Alabama Code section 30-3-150 makes it state policy to encourage joint custody whenever both parents "have shown the ability to act in the best interests of their children." The court must consider joint custody, but is free to grant custody in any form it determines is in the best interest of the child.  The court looks to several factors when deciding to award joint custody: 

• The court looks at the parents wishes regarding joint custody
• The parents willingness and ability to work together and make decision in the best interest of the child
• Ability of each parent to foster the child's love for their ex
• Potential for any kind of abuse or kidnapping
• Distance between parents and practical geographic implications of joint custody
• The court may order a form of joint custody without the consent of both parents, when it is in the best interest of the child.

****When both parents request joint custody, joint custody is presumed to be in the best alternative.  Thus, in Alabama, joint custody is required unless the court makes specific findings as to why it is not.  Check out this helpful guide listing some Alabama Divorce and Custody code sections ,as well as other valuable divorce and child custody resources. 

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In case your feeling really ill about how much your ex significant other is taking you to the cleaners, read this article  from Forbes about the effects of divorce on the rich and famous. 

It is still hard to be sorry for a guy like Sir Paul McCartney.  Sir Paul, you really needed a better lawyer my friend.  No matter how much you think you love someone, in today's world, and when these kind of assets are in play, you should always, always obtain a prenuptial agreement. 

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