Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

Let’s assume that you’re embroiled in a divorce action with your soon-to-be former spouse, who initiated the case. Whether you live in Montgomery, Dothan, Decatur, or Auburn, or anywhere in Alabama, divorce is an emotional and heart-wrenching process especially when one party doesn’t see it coming. Add children into the equation and you have potential for one of the saddest and demoralizing episodes in your life.

Being a family law and divorce attorney practicing in the Birmingham area, I have represented many clients who found themselves in the throes of a painful divorce proceeding. Part of my job is to try and make the process as easy and straightforward as possible while attempting to provide some comfort and guidance to my clients. In some instances a spouse may be so upset that they literally want to stop the divorce in its tracks.

But is this actually possible or even advisable? It’s easy to say, “I want to stop this here and now.” In reality, it’s a different story entirely here in Alabama. The sad truth is that once one spouse is committed to getting a divorce, there is no way the other party can turn it off. Short of convincing your soon-to-be-former partner to pull the plug, that’s just the way Alabama divorce law is written.

In Alabama, if one of spouse insists on a divorce, that individual is going to get his or her way no matter what. And while you and your attorney can make the divorce process take longer, you can’t stop it. As they say in the halls of divorce court, it may take two to get married, but it only takes one to get divorced.

On the topic of reconciliation, you certainly can appeal to the other party to try and make the marriage work, but most divorce actions are an indication that the marital union is probably broken and no amount of energy is going to fix it.

If you know in your heart of hearts that your marriage was on its last legs when your spouse initiated the divorce, then it may be wise to follow their lead and make the best of a bad situation. This is where a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney can really help.

If you insist on making it work, it’s a good idea to bring in a third party who is not emotionally torn between either spouse. Schedule some sessions with a qualified marriage counselor or church pastor. If both parties are committed to making the marriage work, then these professionals can perhaps help you toward making things work better.

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Divorce can be a painful and life-altering event for most married people, especially if children are involved. In my last entry, I discussed a few of the initial steps when moving toward divorce in Alabama. For most individuals, going through a legal separation or divorce can be a very emotional time.

As a divorce lawyer with a Birmingham family law practice, I recommend that people in the throes of divorce attempt to avoid emotionality as much as possible. Though it is difficult, keeping a cool head is highly desirable when going through such a serious legal process as divorce. The following is the second part of my discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

One of the initial steps in kicking off the formal divorce procedure is the creation of a complaint (or petition) requesting a divorce, which is filed by one or the other spouse. Once the petition is filed, the other spouse must file an answer in kind -- this is that spouse’s “response.” The petition usually includes items such as requests for temporary orders regarding custody of the couple’s children (if any) and visitation, alimony and, or in addition to, child support payments. It is not uncommon that the petitioning spouse will request the other to pay his or her lawyer costs.

Following the petition, the next step is for your attorney to undertake legal discovery. Just as in any law suit, this is done to obtain information pertinent to the divorce. This information will help determine the amount of spousal and/or child support, as well as attorney fees that you may be required to pay -- or the amount that you will receive.

Depending on your particular circumstances, retaining the services of a forensic accountant can be very helpful when searching for your spouse’s potentially hidden assets. This kind of accountant can also assist in analyzing your overall debts and assets. Others professionals involved in this process may include CPAs, appraiser and tax advisors, who can help you become aware of the tax implications and other potential risks of hanging onto or giving up property.

Prior to the commencement of settlement negotiations, it is wise to know what items you want the agreement to cover. Being able to understand the various tax consequences or other financial issues tied to each offer and counteroffer made during the negotiations is critical to a successful outcome. This is why having a qualified divorce lawyer on your side during these negotiations makes a great deal of sense.

As an unemotional advocate, an attorney can make the entire process much easier. As I have said before, keeping any possible anger out of the negotiations may help you avoid the possibility of a trial. Since divorce trials can be rather expensive for both of the spouses, this is something you should steer clear of if at all possible.

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