Choosing an Alabama Family Law Attorney to Speed Court Decisions on Support and Custody Issues

Taking your problems to a court of law may seem like a necessary solution, but it is rarely a simple process without the right kind of help. As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I’ve assisted many Alabama residents in areas such as child custody, child support and spousal support, or maintenance.

If you live in Montgomery County, Talladega County, Cullman County or any of the dozens of towns and cities throughout the state, you face the same court system that thousands of local people face every year when pursuing justice for themselves and their families. When it comes to divorce and other related marital cases found in family court, the path to a favorable resolution can be fraught with pitfalls and time-consuming hurdles.

Lawsuits in Alabama can take months or even years to make it to court. But if you're pursuing a divorce you can’t wait to have that settlement over and done with. Most everyone I’ve counseled regarding divorce or legal separation has wanted a quick decision from the judge. That decision must include who gets custody of the children, the family vehicle, money held in multiple bank accounts, the couple’s home, a whole range of items.

As a spouse with little or no means, a decision by the court also must address monies for child support and other payments. In short, you cannot wait months or years for your case to inch its way through the state’s court system.

The good news here is that you do not have to wait. When couples become separated, important issues are often resolved via a short hearing before a judge, instead of requiring a full-blown trial. These hearings are usually held in a special court, referred to as family court in most states.

Regardless of the brevity that these sessions typically offer, because they are so quick you must be prepared and know exactly what you want to ask. You may have only a few minutes to state your side.

One helpful tool is the Temporary Order. This can be used by a spouse with little income of her own to help start some kind of support payment in order to feed and shelter the couple’s children. For example, a wife who has been abandoned can go to court to request a temporary order from a judge, even though a formal divorce action has not yet been filed. Her request will be put on a fast track, and a hearing will be scheduled within days or weeks.

Similarly, one spouse can request of the court to temporarily restrain the other from coming close or contacting the other. It can also be used to expedite the moving out of one spouse from the couple’s home prior to the finalization of the divorce.

In all cases, an experienced family law attorney can make things happen faster due to his or her knowledge of the law and familiarity with the local or state court system.

Birmingham Divorce Lawyer Update: Should I Choose Legal Separation or File for Divorce in Alabama?

Because Alabama recognizes legal separation, most people looking at divorce in cites like Tuscaloosa, Bessemer, Huntsville and Mobile do not always have to file for divorce, at least not immediately. As a Birmingham divorce lawyer, I know that a certain percentage of people considering a divorce action will also have thought about separation as an alternative. Legal separation, which can also be referred to as "judicial separation," "separate maintenance" or "divorce a mensa et thoro" (which translates roughly into "divorce from bed-and-board"), is one way that marital partners can legally formalize what is a de facto separation while at the same time staying legally married.

Folks all around Alabama choose legal separation for a wide variety of reasons. However, the most frequent explanation is because the one or both spouses believe that the marriage may still have a chance of being saved. Occasionally, legal separation may be chosen because of one or both of the parties have a moral or religious objection to divorce.

For the state of Alabama to recognize a legal separation, both parties must enter a decree of legal separation assuming all of the following requirements are satisfied:

1. The court determines that the jurisdictional requirements for the dissolution of a marriage have been met

2. The court determines the marriage is irretrievably broken or there exists a complete incompatibility of temperament or one or both of the parties desires to live separate and apart

3. To the extent that it has jurisdiction to do so, the court has considered, approved, or provided for child custody, and has entered an order for child support in compliance with Rule 32 of the Alabama Rules of Judicial Administration

As the above suggests, while legal separation does not necessarily lead to a divorce, it can leave the door open to reconciliation, in which case the parties typically do not need to do anything more since they are still married in the eyes of the law. If, however, the couple does not manage to find common ground, they may then wish to go through with a divorce, which must be filed for explicitly.

A qualified family law and divorce lawyer can help individuals navigate through the complexities of legal separation as well as full-blown divorce actions, which can be of great help during what is usually a difficult and emotional time for most people.
 

Birmingham Family Law and Divorce Update: Understanding Legal Terminology used in Alabama Divorce Courts

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer, I know that sooner or later some people will need the services of an experienced divorce attorney. One of the reasons folks turn to a legal professional is because of the complex and sometimes labyrinthine structure of our legal system here in Alabama. Regardless of whether a person is getting a divorce in Gadsden or Tuscaloosa, or becoming legally separated in Mobile or Huntsville, there are many areas of the law that only a lawyer can guide you through.

One area that sometimes causes people confusion is the myriad of legal terms they hear or read in agreements, contracts and decrees. To help make things a bit more clear, I have listed below a few of the many important terms and definitions used in the area of divorce law. Because getting a divorce is fraught with new and possibly intimidating terminology, retaining a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney is an important first step.

=============== Divorce Terms ================
 

Abandonment
Applied when one married spouse leaves the marital home, in some areas this may be grounds for divorce or may reflect adversely upon the spouse who moves.

Adultery
Sexual intercourse by a married person outside of the marriage, which in some parts of the country may be grounds for divorce or could adversely affect the offender's case.

Affidavit
A sworn written statement usually made under oath or on affirmation before a magistrate or officer (often a notary public).

Alimony
Also called maintenance or support. See Maintenance.

Alimony Pendente
Spousal support to be paid by one marital partner to the other during the pre-trial period of separation.

Contempt of Court
The deliberate failure to comply with the orders or directives of the Court.

Contested
Any issue on which the petitioner and respondent cannot agree, which must then be decided by the court.

Default
Failure to respond in the prescribed manner within a given period of time. The Respondent in a Petition for Dissolution is said to be in default if he or she failed to respond within a set period of time, usually 30 days after the date of service.

Discovery
Pretrial disclosure of pertinent facts and documents, including financial figures, by one or both parties.

Emancipation
The point at which children become financially independent, or reach the age of 18 or 21, depending on the wording of a state's laws.

Ex-Parte
On or from one side or party only, sometimes used in reference to the absence of the opposing party.

Interrogatories
A formal or written question that must be answered under the direction of the court.

Lump-Sum Alimony
Alimony (a.k.a. spousal support, maintenance) money is given in a single lump-sum payment.

Maintenance
Also called alimony or spousal support.

Mediation
A non-adversarial process in which two or more parties work through discussion and compromise toward agreement with the aid of a neutral party, or Mediator. In Divorce Mediation, the Mediator works with the divorcing spouses.

Motion to Modify
A motion put before the court requesting that changes be made in physical or legal custody, or in child support payments, thus modifying the existing arrangement.

No-Fault Divorce
A divorce in which neither party has been accused of or found guilty of any misconduct.

Non-Custodial Parent
The parent with whom the child is not physically living.

PDL Motion
pendente lite (Latin), or pending in the litigation. Any motion filed before the Petition is presented in court. Cannot be filed until at least 30 days after the Respondent is served with notice of intention to divorce. See Motions.

Petition for Dissolution
The wording used in some states for the legal Petition for Divorce.

Petitioner
The spouse who files for divorce.

QDRO
A Qualified Domestic Relations Order is a court order declaring that one spouse shall be entitled to a portion of the other spouse's pension as a part of the marital assets.

Quit Claim
To release or relinquish legal claim, or a document relinquishing claim, as in a quit claim to the deed to the marital house.

Request for Production
Part of the Discovery process in which one attorney asks for the other side to produce documents they deem necessary to the case, such as financial documents.

Respondent
The spouse whom the Petitioner is seeking to divorce.

Uncontested
When all issues have been resolved in a manner acceptable to both parties, the divorce is said to be Uncontested.

Visitation
The legal right of a non-custodial parent to see his or her child (children).

Waiver
The legal document with which one relinquishes a known right, claim, or privilege.

Birmingham Divorce News: Discussing the Topic of the Dreaded Prenuptial Agreement

I’ll say right off that it’s probably true that most folks think a prenuptial agreement -- or prenup, as they say in Hollywood -- will kill the romance between a couple as surely as a an illicit affair. But does suggesting that your soon-to-be spouse sign a prenuptial agreement really spell the end of trust; Certainly not. Oddly, it may just make that bond even stronger. Rather than curse or jinx a pending marriage, a prenup should be looked at as helping to cement the relationship.

Contrary to popular belief, asking your future husband or wife to sign a prenuptial agreement should not be viewed as a sign of distrust, but as a mutual act of financial openness and faith in the enduring qualities of your relationship. As a Birmingham Divorce and Family Law Attorney, I’ve represented both women and men who have entered into a prenuptial agreement with a future marriage partner.

The trouble is that many people associate the mere mention of the prenup as a prelude to a bad marriage inevitably doomed to end in divorce. Because of this, it’s really no surprise then that most folks, men and women alike, can be quite apprehensive about raising this topic with a future spouse. But there’s really nothing to fret over.

First and foremost, a prenuptial agreement is a document created between future spouses prior to their exchange of marriage vows. An agreement of this type usually lists property settlements in the event of divorce, and could include other legal issues such as possible additional obligations that could arise during the marriage. In Alabama, the law requires that certain procedures as part of the process of forming a prenup, such as full financial disclosure between the two named parties. (It’s important to remember that the law actually prohibits prenuptial agreements if they are not truthfully represented.)

While prenups have been tainted with bad press, thanks in part to those of the rich and famous who have included this legal document as a prerequisite to marriage, over time they have become more commonplace with mainstream Americans. Often created before first or subsequent marriages, they are a means of reassuring the soon-to-be spouses that each party’s assets are protected. Prenuptial agreements can be used in the event of divorce, death, or to establish other postnuptial agreements.

More importantly, and something many people don’t usually consider, is how useful a prenuptial agreement can be in the case of an impending second marriage. This is because there may be sizable assets from the previous marriage that the individual may want to retain sole ownership of -- so she can pass those along to any children from the first marriage, for example.

Remember, a court can refuse to enforce portions of a prenuptial agreement, not to mention the entire document altogether, under certain circumstances such as if assets were hidden or if there is evidence that the agreement was created in haste.

As with any legal document -- to ensure that your prenuptial agreement is valid and to be sure that your rights are protected -- I highly recommend that each party consult with their own attorney prior to entering into the prenup. It may not be seem like the most romantic part of getting hitched, but it could very well make your future together that much more secure.

Birmingham Divorce Update: The Importance of Choosing the Right Alabama Divorce Attorney

Whether you live in Huntsville, Bessemer, Tuscaloosa or any of the dozens of cities and towns throughout Alabama, picking the right divorce lawyer can make the difference between a painful and costly divorce and a smooth and equitable split. Since nearly 50 percent of all marriages end up in divorce, this it is very important to make the right choices, not only in your future spouse, but also in your divorce and family law attorney.

As an experienced Birmingham attorney well versed in divorce and family law, I have assisted many clients through what can be a harrowing and emotionally difficult time in their lives. If children are involved, then the added pain and hard feelings can compound the situation to the extent that it affects even the couple’s friends and relatives.

Choosing the right attorney can alleviate some of the emotional anguish that inevitably comes from such a legal separation. Having counseled many individuals contemplating and going through divorce, I would like to provide a few key points for finding a good divorce attorney:

1) First and foremost, choose a lawyer who specializes in family law. This goes without saying. A family law attorney should be completed prepared with the correct paperwork and forms necessary to an Alabama divorce action, which also helps to speed things along and save you time and effort.

2) Make a determination as to the gender of your attorney. Some people are more comfortable talking to a lawyer of the same sex as themselves, but you must decide for yourself.

3) Choose an attorney who is knowledgeable about and has handled case in the particular county in which your case will be heard. Having a lawyer who is familiar with the local judges and other attorneys will help you in the long run.

4) Interview your candidate to see if he or she will fight aggressively for you if the going gets nasty, as it often can. You never want to “pick fights” with your soon-to-be-ex spouse, but you do need a lawyer who understands your circumstances and will act always in your best interests.

5) Seek out friends and family members who have been divorced to get their thoughts on what to expect and who helped them the most. Divorce is no cakewalk, but you should be able to find someone in your extended circle of friends who believes that their case was handled well and in a straightforward manner.

6) Never be afraid to switch lawyers if you feel that you are not being represented in the best way. Sometimes there may simply be a clash of personalities, but whatever the reason, you need to feel comfortable with the attorney who is handling you case because it means so much to you and your family.

Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 3

To finish up my final installment of things married women in Alabama should keep in mind as they approach divorce or legal separation, I’m including a few additional points to consider in this time of emotional and financial upheaval. It makes no difference whether you live in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, or Huntsville, the situation remains the same. Divorce is a sad fact for many women and going into it with yours eyes wide open is the best strategy for getting through with the least amount of surprises.

The decisions you make during a divorce proceeding can affect you and your kids for many years to come. The old adage, “Ignorance is Bliss,” is not the phrase you want to stand by in this case. Doing lots of research and finding an experienced divorce and family law attorney to be by your side is the best plan of action for any woman facing marital strife and ultimately, divorce.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, my clients come first. Because my job is to help them throughout the divorce process, I also try to be there for emotional and moral support. The following are some final points to keep in mind when preparing to follow through with a divorce, or when you’re just doing some investigation for the future.

6) Hard as it may be, you must face your worst economic fears. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous “bag lady” and wondered how she arrived at that station in life. Similarly, it’s not surprising that many women experience the fear that they, too, will be left to fend for themselves, homeless on the street.

Suddenly being thrust into the position of being the sole breadwinner for your family can be a frightening prospect. Being primarily accountable for all aspects of your children’s lives going forward is a big responsibility, but don’t think you’re the only person ever to face the unknowns of post-divorce life.

Your income may come up short and the bills in the mail can seem relentless, but be assured that thousands of women every year make to this point and beyond. Just look around. You probably know more than a few divorced ladies who have faced the same challenges and still made a better life for themselves and their kids. Many became strong for the experience through the entire process.

7) Never assume that your so-called ‘permanent’ alimony will always be around. It’s fairly common for women who have been married for some time and also out of the job market to receive permanent alimony. Especially if your soon-to-former spouse was a good wage earner, you will likely be awarded this by the court.

However, circumstances change. If your ex comes down with a serious illness, loses his job or gets a demotion, he is entitled to seek a reduction (or worse) termination of his monthly obligation to you. A more common situation is that the wife is awarded support for a finite period with the option of extending support in the future. In the worst of cases, the court may decide that you have the abilities and health to pursue gainful employment yourself -- if your marriage was relatively short, you may get nothing at all.

The bottom line is you must be prepared to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. They say that God helps those who help themselves and it is those with foresight who look to the future by pursuing further education and learning new skills. By taking the initiative early on, you will make yourself less vulnerable economically if and when that alimony runs out.

8) Finally, have faith in your own abilities and desire to make a better future. Believing in yourself goes a long way toward making good things happen. Don’t be so concerned about finding Mr. Right the second time around. If it happens, it happens. But until it does, concentrate on Number One. Taking control of your life as you open this newest chapter will make all the difference.

You may discover skills or talents that you never knew you had. You might find that you have abilities that were dormant during your married life, which could truly open the door to a better future. Have faith and be strong. Write your own success story and remember: Living well and being happy can sometimes be the best revenge.

Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 2

Previously, I touched on a couple points to remember when approaching divorce. Whether you live in Mobile, Dothan, Tuscaloosa of Huntsville, every woman going though or contemplating a divorce in Alabama should recognize some of the more common traps that people fall into during this emotionally draining time.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, I always try to help my clients with all aspects of the divorce process. Whether you are just now thinking about becoming legally separated or already going through a divorce, you should always approach the process with a clear mind.

The following are some additional points to keep in mind when making the transition to being single again. Naturally, you should retain the services of an experienced divorce lawyer to make certain that you have covered all the areas that pertain to your circumstances.

3)  Learn early on the details of custody in Alabama. Sadly for many women going through divorce today, gone are the days of courts automatically handing over custody to the children’s mother. While preference has tended to go to the mother in the past, this is no longer the case when determining a sole or primary custodian for the kids of divorced parents.

Since there exist multiple options and variations on both custody and parenting provisions, you should perform at least as much research on child custody as you probably did when it came to your pregnancy or schooling your children. The more you know going into the divorce process, the better prepared you will be when the time comes to arguing for custody of your kids.

4)  Don’t always assume you absolutely must keep the house. This is one of the key mistakes that many women make when faced with divorce. And it’s not surprising since our homes often symbolize security and stability for the children. But temper this urge until you can truly assess the impact of keeping the house. Many times the costs can be much too high for a single parent.

Maybe you feel you can swing it, but also consider current market conditions and the state of the economy from a jobs perspective. Could you sell the house quickly and at the price you want if you lost you job? Renting has become a better option for some people ever since the economy got rough.

Do some number crunching with the help of a financial or legal advisor to determine all of the pros and cons of holding onto a home as a single parent. If you do decide to sell the house while the two of you are still married, or as part of a settlement, you can share the fix-up costs, carrying costs, brokerage fees and any capital gains tax with your spouse, rather than being solely responsible for them.

5)  Don’t underestimate your retirement assets. If you are still in your prime earning years, or even if you are middle-aged and still very productive, it may be difficult to fully appreciate the benefits and importance of tax-deferred assets in IRA, 401(k) or pension accounts. And although it may be tempting to take “offsetting” cash or the house or even the family car now, while putting off worrying about tomorrow for later, the tax implications could set you back further than you may know.

A financial advisor can help you to carefully analyze long-term needs versus cash-in-hand options. Again, being prepared ahead of time will save you a great deal of grief after the divorce is final. Use the internet and other specialized services to help you make the right financial decisions the first time because you usually cannot go back once you take monies out of a tax-deferred account, for instance.

Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 1

Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

For some women, it may be difficult to face up to the fact that their husband will not be taking care of all those things he previously handled for the family. Promises of trying to work things out or the feeling that if the two of you just sat down with a third party things would get better are falsely comforting and get in the way of actual planning needed to transition to being single again.

The reality is that you and your spouse take on adversarial roles where what used to be common and shared interests in things such as assets and living expenses. Because you need to be fully aware of your entire financial picture, one solution would be to assume the best, but prepare for the worst.

In this case it is important to find a qualified divorce lawyer to whom you can put some, but not all of your reliance. While you can listen to what may or may not be a fair and equitable proposition for settlement from your spouse, always consult with your attorney before making any ultimate commitments.

Alabama Divorce News: Elizabeth and John Edwards Separate following Affair and Child with Rielle Hunter

By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.


How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010


 

Birmingham Family Law Update: Understanding No-fault Divorce in Alabama

Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

  1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
  2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
  3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

 

Each of these areas include complicated and very serious topics, so it is a smart move to approach each of them separately and resolve one before addressing the next. Meeting each other halfway can go a long way toward speeding along the No-fault divorce process and getting on with your life.

Once a friendly agreement is arrived at for the above three areas, the balance of a No-Fault divorce includes putting the information you accumulated on various state documents including the initial divorce complaint, then signing the documents and filing them with your particular Court of Jurisdiction.

Alabama has a waiting period of 60 days from the date of signed Decree of Divorce before either spouse can remarry within the state. However, there is no waiting period for an out-of-state marriage.

Birmingham Divorce Update: Is There Such a Thing as a Pleasant Alabama Divorce?

One of the more frequent causes of divorce can usually be summed up in one word: Incompatibility. As a divorce lawyer practicing in the Birmingham area, I can say that many divorces are the result of an unpleasant or contentious marital relationship. However, this doesn’t mean that the divorce process or the court proceedings surrounding it must necessarily be fraught with acrimony and bitterness.

While the primary job of a divorce and family law attorney is to fight for his or her client’s best interests, it is important that a lawyer also be compassionate and provide a buffer between the client and the other party. Nothing is gained by getting angry during a divorce action, so this is always something to keep in mind.

Now the question I will pose here is, can there be any such thing as a  friendly divorce? Fortunately for many people, the answer is yes. Because Alabama is a No-Fault (also known as uncontested) divorce state, regardless of whether you live in large cities such as Birmingham and Montgomery, or any of the other smaller cities and towns throughout Alabama, an individual can usually obtain a divorce without too many legal complications.

There is a caveat here: you and your spouse must agree to the terms of the divorce in an amicable and friendly manner. This is critical as any history of domestic violence in a marital relationship could easily derail a friendly divorce and could even make things worse. Therefore, if there is a history of domestic violence it is highly recommended that you retain professional legal counsel when pursuing a No-Fault divorce in Alabama.

Once you and your spouse realize the marriage is over, and if you can get past that initial shock and anger of realizing there is no going back, then you may have a chance to honestly look at a No-Fault divorce for your situation.

This can only happen if both parties act in a mature and responsible manner. Try to keep things on a friendly basis, because these is no reason for anything hostile or antagonistic to happen during this time. A key here is to avoid resurrecting the reasons why you are getting a divorce in the first place. Keep it civil and your chances of getting through the proceedings will improve dramatically.

Frankly speaking, if your differences are irreconcilable, then these individual reasons will only be impediments to achieving an amicable and “friendly” resolution. Keeping this in mind and seeking the services of a qualified and experienced family law and divorce attorney will help you get through the divorce and on to a new and better life for yourself and your family.

Birmingham Divorce Update: Steps Toward an Alabama Divorce -- Part Two

Divorce can be a painful and life-altering event for most married people, especially if children are involved. In my last entry, I discussed a few of the initial steps when moving toward divorce in Alabama. For most individuals, going through a legal separation or divorce can be a very emotional time.

As a divorce lawyer with a Birmingham family law practice, I recommend that people in the throes of divorce attempt to avoid emotionality as much as possible. Though it is difficult, keeping a cool head is highly desirable when going through such a serious legal process as divorce. The following is the second part of my discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

One of the initial steps in kicking off the formal divorce procedure is the creation of a complaint (or petition) requesting a divorce, which is filed by one or the other spouse. Once the petition is filed, the other spouse must file an answer in kind -- this is that spouse’s “response.” The petition usually includes items such as requests for temporary orders regarding custody of the couple’s children (if any) and visitation, alimony and, or in addition to, child support payments. It is not uncommon that the petitioning spouse will request the other to pay his or her lawyer costs.

Following the petition, the next step is for your attorney to undertake legal discovery. Just as in any law suit, this is done to obtain information pertinent to the divorce. This information will help determine the amount of spousal and/or child support, as well as attorney fees that you may be required to pay -- or the amount that you will receive.

Depending on your particular circumstances, retaining the services of a forensic accountant can be very helpful when searching for your spouse’s potentially hidden assets. This kind of accountant can also assist in analyzing your overall debts and assets. Others professionals involved in this process may include CPAs, appraiser and tax advisors, who can help you become aware of the tax implications and other potential risks of hanging onto or giving up property.

Prior to the commencement of settlement negotiations, it is wise to know what items you want the agreement to cover. Being able to understand the various tax consequences or other financial issues tied to each offer and counteroffer made during the negotiations is critical to a successful outcome. This is why having a qualified divorce lawyer on your side during these negotiations makes a great deal of sense.

As an unemotional advocate, an attorney can make the entire process much easier. As I have said before, keeping any possible anger out of the negotiations may help you avoid the possibility of a trial. Since divorce trials can be rather expensive for both of the spouses, this is something you should steer clear of if at all possible.

When the negotiation stage is completed, a settlement agreement will be drawn up to reflect the terms that were mutually settled upon. If, on the other hand, the negotiations break down for some reason, the divorce proceeding will head to trial, in which a judge will decide how to divvy up your assets, as well as determine which spouse will get custody of the children (if any). During the trial, the judge will also decide how much child support and/or alimony will be paid.

Regardless of how the final divorce settlement is arrived at, either through cooperative negotiation or by trial, when all is said and done a final divorce decree will be created based on the complete terms of the settlement agreement.