Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer helping clients throughout Alabama, I understand the pain and anguish that people feel following a separation or conclusion of a divorce action. For folks who share children from a marriage that is now falling apart the hurt can go very deep, especially when custody comes into play.

No matter where you live in Alabama, be it Huntsville, Auburn, Madison or Opelika, divorce and separation are not easy. One issue that arises more often than not is that of relocation. It’s a sad fact, but in a society as mobile as ours and with an economy that is forcing people to look elsewhere for employment, relocation cases have become commonplace.

Once a divorce is final, it’s inevitable to have some tension between the custodial and non-custodial parents. However, this tension can elevate if the custodial parent needs or wants to move away and take the kids with them. In cases like this the non-custodial parents will desperately want to hang on to their relationship with the children, while everyone should consider the best interests of the kids as well.

The question that I get from folks is, Where does the law come down on the issue of relocation or “move away” cases? Naturally, many non-custodial parents want to know if they can prevent their former partner from physically relocating themselves and the kids. Similarly, the custodial parent wonders if he or she actually needs to get “approval” to move from the other, non-custodial parent.

Actually, there is an Alabama statute titled the “Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act,” part of the Alabama Code, Section 30-3-160. What this part of the law requires is for the custodial parent to submit written notice to the other party, the non-custodial parent, 45 days in advance of any intended move greater than 60 miles from his or her present residence.

The law regarding this required notice is very specific as to what should be included and in what form it should take. For instance, it must be delivered via certified mail. This is why it’s always important to consult a qualified family law attorney to be certain that you are following the letter of the law.

Once notice is given, the law gives the non-custodial parent 30 days to file a written objection  with the court. If an objection is filed, the court will then set a date to hear the individual parties and make a determination as to whether or not, in the judge’s opinion, the move is in the best interests of the children.

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Let’s assume that you’re embroiled in a divorce action with your soon-to-be former spouse, who initiated the case. Whether you live in Montgomery, Dothan, Decatur, or Auburn, or anywhere in Alabama, divorce is an emotional and heart-wrenching process especially when one party doesn’t see it coming. Add children into the equation and you have potential for one of the saddest and demoralizing episodes in your life.

Being a family law and divorce attorney practicing in the Birmingham area, I have represented many clients who found themselves in the throes of a painful divorce proceeding. Part of my job is to try and make the process as easy and straightforward as possible while attempting to provide some comfort and guidance to my clients. In some instances a spouse may be so upset that they literally want to stop the divorce in its tracks.

But is this actually possible or even advisable? It’s easy to say, “I want to stop this here and now.” In reality, it’s a different story entirely here in Alabama. The sad truth is that once one spouse is committed to getting a divorce, there is no way the other party can turn it off. Short of convincing your soon-to-be-former partner to pull the plug, that’s just the way Alabama divorce law is written.

In Alabama, if one of spouse insists on a divorce, that individual is going to get his or her way no matter what. And while you and your attorney can make the divorce process take longer, you can’t stop it. As they say in the halls of divorce court, it may take two to get married, but it only takes one to get divorced.

On the topic of reconciliation, you certainly can appeal to the other party to try and make the marriage work, but most divorce actions are an indication that the marital union is probably broken and no amount of energy is going to fix it.

If you know in your heart of hearts that your marriage was on its last legs when your spouse initiated the divorce, then it may be wise to follow their lead and make the best of a bad situation. This is where a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney can really help.

If you insist on making it work, it’s a good idea to bring in a third party who is not emotionally torn between either spouse. Schedule some sessions with a qualified marriage counselor or church pastor. If both parties are committed to making the marriage work, then these professionals can perhaps help you toward making things work better.

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In these cash-strapped times many spouses going through divorce are asking the same question: Will I be able to receive any Alimony payments? It’s a fact that the majority of alimony awards go to the wife. As an Alabama divorce attorney and family law lawyer, I am always oncerned that my clients receive their fair share of the marital assets as part of a divorce settlement. Whether you live in Hoover or Florence, Tuscaloosa, Bessemer or Homewood, your concerns will likely be the same.

In difficult economic times, alimony and child support can both be a function of an ex-spouse’s earning power. Alimony itself is a payment from one former marital partner to the other and is usually paid on a monthly basis. It is ordered by the court as continuing support for one of the former spouses following a divorce.

You should remember that alimony is a separate and distinct payment from any other kind of divorce-related payments, such as child support. As with most aspects of divorce in Alabama, the payment of alimony is decided by a divorce judge and is determined solely by the discretion of the court. In fact, alimony payments are decided based on the specifics of the individual divorce case and the needs and means of the respective parties.

Unfortunately for the divorcing spouses, there is no fixed rule that can be applied to the setting of alimony payment, or even if alimony is justified as part of a divorce settlement. Therefore, the determination of an alimony payment, if any, is always an open issue until decided by the judge overseeing the case.

Several factors that govern how a divorce court in Alabama will decide if alimony is justified include A) the financial need of the receiving spouse (usually the wife) and the ability of the paying spouse (quite often the husband) to pay; (B) the conduct of the individual parties as pertains to the cause(s) of the divorce; and C) the length of the marriage. In the end, whether or not you receive alimony could have a great impact on your ability to preserve your personal assets going forward.

As always, a good divorce lawyer and family law attorney can assist in a large part when going through the many times painful process of divorce. Having a qualified family law attorney by your side can help when it comes time to make the big decisions that could affect your life and the lives of your children fro some times to come.
 

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How much information is too much information? Going through a divorce in Alabama can be a difficult journey. Regardless of whether you live in Mobile, Birmingham, Huntsville or any of the hundreds of cities and towns across the state, the subject of divorce or legal separation can be a minefield. Spouses who are splitting up have a hard enough time discussing details with family and friends, but what of the children? How much should you share with them, if anything?

As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney practicing throughout Alabama, I have seen it all when it comes to separation and divorce. I feel the heartbreak and sense the hard feelings that can arise during this kind of life-changing event. But my knowledge and years of experience have given me the tools to help my clients make it through one of the toughest times of their life.

For sure, one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is the effect it can have on children. Divorce can be extremely trying especially where kids are involved. In many instances, my clients confide in me by asking how they should break the news to their children. Quite often, they don’t even know how they should act or behave toward their kids once a divorce has been finalized.

Of course, it can be difficult to take your children’s needs into account during the process of a divorce in Alabama. There are many and varied aspects to the process including Spousal support, division of assets, and guardianship.

If you are considering divorce, or know someone who is going through or contemplating such an action, you may want to keep the following items in mind regarding the younger members of the household. Children need and have the right to the following, especially in times of family upheaval:

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One of the more frequent causes of divorce can usually be summed up in one word: Incompatibility. As a divorce lawyer practicing in the Birmingham area, I can say that many divorces are the result of an unpleasant or contentious marital relationship. However, this doesn’t mean that the divorce process or the court proceedings surrounding it must necessarily be fraught with acrimony and bitterness.

While the primary job of a divorce and family law attorney is to fight for his or her client’s best interests, it is important that a lawyer also be compassionate and provide a buffer between the client and the other party. Nothing is gained by getting angry during a divorce action, so this is always something to keep in mind.

Now the question I will pose here is, can there be any such thing as a  friendly divorce? Fortunately for many people, the answer is yes. Because Alabama is a No-Fault (also known as uncontested) divorce state, regardless of whether you live in large cities such as Birmingham and Montgomery, or any of the other smaller cities and towns throughout Alabama, an individual can usually obtain a divorce without too many legal complications.

There is a caveat here: you and your spouse must agree to the terms of the divorce in an amicable and friendly manner. This is critical as any history of domestic violence in a marital relationship could easily derail a friendly divorce and could even make things worse. Therefore, if there is a history of domestic violence it is highly recommended that you retain professional legal counsel when pursuing a No-Fault divorce in Alabama.

Once you and your spouse realize the marriage is over, and if you can get past that initial shock and anger of realizing there is no going back, then you may have a chance to honestly look at a No-Fault divorce for your situation.

This can only happen if both parties act in a mature and responsible manner. Try to keep things on a friendly basis, because these is no reason for anything hostile or antagonistic to happen during this time. A key here is to avoid resurrecting the reasons why you are getting a divorce in the first place. Keep it civil and your chances of getting through the proceedings will improve dramatically.

Frankly speaking, if your differences are irreconcilable, then these individual reasons will only be impediments to achieving an amicable and “friendly” resolution. Keeping this in mind and seeking the services of a qualified and experienced family law and divorce attorney will help you get through the divorce and on to a new and better life for yourself and your family.

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When considering divorce it is always a good idea to find a qualified family law attorney or divorce lawyer to help guide you through the labyrinth of laws and legal requirements. As a Birmingham divorce attorney I look out for the best interests of my clients went representing them in divorce court. Whether you are a husband or wife, this is a stress-filled time for many people, and my approach to compassionate representation during all phases of legal separation, divorce, child custody and other marital and post-marital agreements remains one of sympathetic, yet aggressive advocacy.

My years of experience in divorce-related and family law matters has equipped me to provide the necessary counsel during one of the most trying times in a person’s life. Here are some additional legal terms you may run across when facing a divorce or separation in the state of Alabama.

Alimony, Maintenance, Spousal Support
The awarding of alimony is determined by the court based on the need of the spouse requesting alimony and the ability of the other to pay. If fault is a factor in the divorce, the judge has the right to make an allowance to either spouse out of the estate of either spouse, or not make an allowance as the circumstances of the case may justify. However, any property acquired prior to the marriage of the parties or by inheritance or gift may not be considered in determining the amount of alimony.

Child Custody
Child support is determined using the Income Shares model, with the theory that children should continue to receive that same amount of support as if the parents were still together.

Child Custody
The courts in Alabama strives to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. The court shall in every case consider joint custody, however it may award any form of custody which is determined to be in the best interest of the child.

Joint custody does not necessarily mean equal physical custody. In determining whether joint custody is in the best interest of the child, courts typically consider the same factors considered in awarding sole legal and physical custody and all of the following factors:

1. The agreement or lack of agreement of the parents on joint custody
2. The past and present ability of the parents to cooperate with each other and make decisions jointly
3. The ability of the parents to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other parent
4. Any history of or potential for child abuse, spouse abuse, or kidnapping
5. The geographic proximity of the parents to each other as this relates to the practical considerations of joint physical custody

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Marriage is a sacred institution which sometimes becomes a trial for those ill-suited to the needs of another, or the sacrifices which a marital partnership requires. As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I have helped many couples through their individual rough patches. Unfortunately, even the best of counseling cannot hold together a relationship that has fallen apart. That is when legal separation or actual divorce become the only alternative, sad to say.

To begin, in Alabama a valid marriage is marked by a number of conditions. Each of these, and as a group, helps to define what is or is not a legal marriage in the state of Alabama. They include the following:

• Nobody under 14 years of age has the capacity to contract marriage
• For all persons under the age of 18, the consent of a parent or guardian is absolutely required
• Both parties to the marriage must be of sound mind
• Each must be able to contract marriage, and
• The parties cannot be related, at least within a prohibited degree as defined by the state

The Alabama Marriage Protection Act, which was made into law in 1998, specifies that marriage is an inherently unique relationship between a man and a women. A marriage contracted between individuals of the same sex is invalid in Alabama. ALA. CODE 30-1-19(b) (1975). Furthermore, the act also holds that the State of Alabama shall not recognize the marriage of parties of the same sex from other states.

Finally, a marriage cannot exist without the mutual consent of both parties. Since consent is lacking if a previous marriage existed, or when consent is procured by duress, a marriage is not valid when obtained under either circumstance. This is when my work as a divorce lawyer must inevietably come into play. Divorce legally separates and divides a family's assets, and in some cases it actually divides the family. But this is a discussion for another time.

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As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney serving residents throughout Alabama, one of the most common question I am asked by folks is, “What are the legal grounds for divorce here in Alabama?” Another frequent question is, “What kind of residency requirement is needed to file for divorce in this state?” This last one is simple: One of the parties must be a bona fide resident of Alabama six months before the filing of the complaint.

As for the first question, legal grounds for divorce in Alabama can be determined by asking the following questions. Answering yes to any one of these will give you some idea as to whether or not you have grounds for divorce:

1. At the time of the marriage, was either party physically and incurably incapacitated from entering into the marriage state?
2. Was there adultery?
3. Did one of the parties voluntary abandon from bed and board one year prior to the filing of the complaint?
4. Was one of the spouses imprisoned in an Alabama of other state’s penitentiary for two years, with the sentence being for seven years or longer?
5. Did one party commit a crime against nature, whether with mankind or beast, either before or after marriage?
6. Was there an addiction to alcohol or drugs after the marriage?
7. Are the spouses incompatible?
8. Has one of the spouses been confined in a mental hospital for a period of five successive years, and as such is that party hopelessly and incurably insane at the time of the filing of the complaint?
9. Has there been an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage where further attempts at reconciliation are impractical or futile and not in the best interests of the parties or the family?
10. Was the wife pregnant at the time of marriage, without the husband’s knowledge or agency? (In favor of the husband)
11. Has either of the parties to the marriage been subject to domestic violence or had reasonable apprehension of such violence?
12. Has the wife lived separate and apart from the bed and board of the husband for two years and been without support from him for two years next preceding the filing of the complaint, and has she bona fide resided in this state during said period? (In favor of the wife)

Many of these questions are easy to answer, however some are more difficult and require an experienced eye. As an Alabama divorce lawyer, my practice deals with these questions and numerous other issues on a daily basis. As with any legal question, I highly recommend that anyone contemplating divorce seek the counsel of a qualified divorce and family law attorney to learn more completely what his or her options may be in situations as sensitive as divorce and legal separation.

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Divorce. It can be messy. It’s never easy. And many folks have been there. One thing I can tell you without hesitation, as an experienced Alabama divorce lawyer, you sometimes have to make a compromise to get the best outcome. Working out of Birmingham, AL, I’ve represented numerous spouses seeking separation or divorce. An uncontested divorce is not uncommong, but many divorces are fraught with challenges from both sides. Many of my past clients believed that mediation was out of the question, mainly because they were totally in the right and there “less-than-better-half” was completely in the wrong.

One thing you must consider when contemplating this kind of all-or-nothing approach is that the court may not agree with you. But listening to your divorce attorney is the best thing you can do. I and other family law attorneys across the state of Alabama know how divorce court functions. Whether you’re here in Birmingham, or out in Tuscaloosa, in and around Bessemer, or over by Gadsden, you’ll hear similar advice. Knowing when to compromise, versus taking your divorce to trial, is critical to a successful and satisfying outcome.

A family law attorney can guide you through a divorce with better judgment than if you drive the bus yourself. Without compromise, you will likely have to take your divorce case to trial, which in itself can be a difficult decision for any husband or wife. At the same time, by going to trial you are taking your chances not only with the outcome, but also with the cost -- in terms of time and money -- of extended litigation.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge that no person involved in a divorce wants to consent to an agreement that does not fully protect his or her property rights, future financial security or the custody of the children, if any. But naturally, if you do to go to trial with your divorce case, you will definitely benefit from an experienced and dedicated attorney by your side who will passionately advocate for the protection of your rights and seek the best possible results on your behalf.

So if you’re contemplating divorce, please consider the realities of your situation and try to put your emotions on the back burner. A little anger is healthy, but too much can cloud your thinking and cause you to make choices that you may regret later on. Pay attention to what your lawyer has to say. His or her opinion can be more valuable than you might imagine.
 

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Even as a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I personally hate to see people get divorced. For the children of parents going through a divorce, for the other family members and even for the couple’s friends and neighbors, it’s a very difficult and stressful time. But there are instances when I have no qualms about recommending divorce and that is where domestic violence is involved. I cannot tolerate spousal abuse, and I’m certain every thinking person out there cannot either.

Did you know that each year, nearly four million women are physically assaulted by their partner in the United States? That’s an awful statistic, and worthy of some serious thought. While most divorces have more to do with some form of incompatibility, a fair number are in response to violence. Of course, domestic violence doesn’t always have to be physical in nature. I’ve represented more than a few clients whose spouses used a psychological approach to antagonize and abuse their wife, or husband.

Every week we hear news stories of physical violence that can arise during a marriage, but even afterward the abuser can reach out to the victim again and again. Recently, I ran across a positive story of a domestic abuse survivor who says that in sharing her story, she hopes to keep others from having the same fate as many tragic victims of domestic violence. This woman was physically attacked by her abuser, who literally was trying to kill her.

The television report provided important warnings on how other victims can hopefully avoid a similar situation. For instance, they advise that one should never meet with their abuser in private. Seemingly innocent excuses can be a smokescreen meant to fool the victim into meeting, such as asking a former spouse to stop by to feed a family pet. It can be a dangerous lure.

Bottom line: When it comes to domestic abuse, avoid all contact with the other party -- take advantage of caller ID and simply don’t answer the phone when he calls. And if you’re not certain how to start, by all means contact an experienced family law attorney to find out your rights and how to legally protect yourself and your children.

Surviving Domestic Violence, NBCAugusta.com, June 22, 2009

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