Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

To finish up my final installment of things married women in Alabama should keep in mind as they approach divorce or legal separation, I’m including a few additional points to consider in this time of emotional and financial upheaval. It makes no difference whether you live in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, or Huntsville, the situation remains the same. Divorce is a sad fact for many women and going into it with yours eyes wide open is the best strategy for getting through with the least amount of surprises.

The decisions you make during a divorce proceeding can affect you and your kids for many years to come. The old adage, “Ignorance is Bliss,” is not the phrase you want to stand by in this case. Doing lots of research and finding an experienced divorce and family law attorney to be by your side is the best plan of action for any woman facing marital strife and ultimately, divorce.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, my clients come first. Because my job is to help them throughout the divorce process, I also try to be there for emotional and moral support. The following are some final points to keep in mind when preparing to follow through with a divorce, or when you’re just doing some investigation for the future.

6) Hard as it may be, you must face your worst economic fears. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous “bag lady” and wondered how she arrived at that station in life. Similarly, it’s not surprising that many women experience the fear that they, too, will be left to fend for themselves, homeless on the street.

Suddenly being thrust into the position of being the sole breadwinner for your family can be a frightening prospect. Being primarily accountable for all aspects of your children’s lives going forward is a big responsibility, but don’t think you’re the only person ever to face the unknowns of post-divorce life.

Your income may come up short and the bills in the mail can seem relentless, but be assured that thousands of women every year make to this point and beyond. Just look around. You probably know more than a few divorced ladies who have faced the same challenges and still made a better life for themselves and their kids. Many became strong for the experience through the entire process.

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Previously, I touched on a couple points to remember when approaching divorce. Whether you live in Mobile, Dothan, Tuscaloosa of Huntsville, every woman going though or contemplating a divorce in Alabama should recognize some of the more common traps that people fall into during this emotionally draining time.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, I always try to help my clients with all aspects of the divorce process. Whether you are just now thinking about becoming legally separated or already going through a divorce, you should always approach the process with a clear mind.

The following are some additional points to keep in mind when making the transition to being single again. Naturally, you should retain the services of an experienced divorce lawyer to make certain that you have covered all the areas that pertain to your circumstances.

3)  Learn early on the details of custody in Alabama. Sadly for many women going through divorce today, gone are the days of courts automatically handing over custody to the children’s mother. While preference has tended to go to the mother in the past, this is no longer the case when determining a sole or primary custodian for the kids of divorced parents.

Since there exist multiple options and variations on both custody and parenting provisions, you should perform at least as much research on child custody as you probably did when it came to your pregnancy or schooling your children. The more you know going into the divorce process, the better prepared you will be when the time comes to arguing for custody of your kids.

4)  Don’t always assume you absolutely must keep the house. This is one of the key mistakes that many women make when faced with divorce. And it’s not surprising since our homes often symbolize security and stability for the children. But temper this urge until you can truly assess the impact of keeping the house. Many times the costs can be much too high for a single parent.

Maybe you feel you can swing it, but also consider current market conditions and the state of the economy from a jobs perspective. Could you sell the house quickly and at the price you want if you lost you job? Renting has become a better option for some people ever since the economy got rough.

Do some number crunching with the help of a financial or legal advisor to determine all of the pros and cons of holding onto a home as a single parent. If you do decide to sell the house while the two of you are still married, or as part of a settlement, you can share the fix-up costs, carrying costs, brokerage fees and any capital gains tax with your spouse, rather than being solely responsible for them.

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Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

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By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.

How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010

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Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

• Community finances
• Assets 
• Children

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A fight over child custody can be a painful and wrenching experience for any family. As an Alabama family law attorney and divorce lawyer in the Birmingham area, I have seen the emotional torrent that swirls around all parties in hotly contested custody battles. In the case of former vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin’s grandson, Tripp, hopefully the child’s young age will at least spare him from most of the drama.

Recently, news agencies have been talking about the latest saga of Bristol Palin and her former boyfriend and fiancée, Levi Johnston. According to reports, Johnston has been on a so-called campaign against Alaska’s former “first family” by revealing a variety of family secrets.

Regarding the recent custody case over young Tripp, public records from an Alaskan court have revealed a heated battle between Palin's daughter and the father of her grandson. Bristol Palin had asked the court to keep the proceedings closed, but that request was denied a Superior Court judge -- a temporary order had authorized the use of pseudonyms while the court was considering the request, which stated that no good "could result to the child by an onslaught of media."

Johnston’s stance was that he didn’t feel protected against Sarah Palin in a closed setting. The father of one-year-old Tripp had been pushing for open court proceedings, saying he just wanted a simple case based on its merit. A qualified family law attorney can be a great asset in cases not unlike this one

According to news articles, Bristol Palin had petitioned the court in early November last year, asking for sole custody as well as child support. The petition also requested a visitation schedule for Johnston, saying that the former fiance had exercised "sporadic visitation rights."

The eldest daughter of Sarah Palin, Bristol Palin's custody petition called Johnston's recent nude photo shoot for Playgirl magazine "risque." She also noted that the man’s mother, Sherry Johnston, should not be allowed unsupervised visits with the baby following her drug arrest. Sherry Johnston, who is reportedly serving a three-year sentence under home confinement, was again sentenced last month on a guilty plea to one count of possession with intent to deliver the painkiller OxyContin.

In a motion opposing closed proceedings, Johnston's attorney argued that Bristol Palin had not shown what sort of evidence could stigmatize the child. The lawyer said that the Palin-Johnston case has similar facts that accompany open child custody cases every day in the Alaskan court system.

Bristol Palin seeks full custody of baby, MSN.com, December 29, 2009

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Divorce can be a painful and life-altering event for most married people, especially if children are involved. In my last entry, I discussed a few of the initial steps when moving toward divorce in Alabama. For most individuals, going through a legal separation or divorce can be a very emotional time.

As a divorce lawyer with a Birmingham family law practice, I recommend that people in the throes of divorce attempt to avoid emotionality as much as possible. Though it is difficult, keeping a cool head is highly desirable when going through such a serious legal process as divorce. The following is the second part of my discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

One of the initial steps in kicking off the formal divorce procedure is the creation of a complaint (or petition) requesting a divorce, which is filed by one or the other spouse. Once the petition is filed, the other spouse must file an answer in kind -- this is that spouse’s “response.” The petition usually includes items such as requests for temporary orders regarding custody of the couple’s children (if any) and visitation, alimony and, or in addition to, child support payments. It is not uncommon that the petitioning spouse will request the other to pay his or her lawyer costs.

Following the petition, the next step is for your attorney to undertake legal discovery. Just as in any law suit, this is done to obtain information pertinent to the divorce. This information will help determine the amount of spousal and/or child support, as well as attorney fees that you may be required to pay -- or the amount that you will receive.

Depending on your particular circumstances, retaining the services of a forensic accountant can be very helpful when searching for your spouse’s potentially hidden assets. This kind of accountant can also assist in analyzing your overall debts and assets. Others professionals involved in this process may include CPAs, appraiser and tax advisors, who can help you become aware of the tax implications and other potential risks of hanging onto or giving up property.

Prior to the commencement of settlement negotiations, it is wise to know what items you want the agreement to cover. Being able to understand the various tax consequences or other financial issues tied to each offer and counteroffer made during the negotiations is critical to a successful outcome. This is why having a qualified divorce lawyer on your side during these negotiations makes a great deal of sense.

As an unemotional advocate, an attorney can make the entire process much easier. As I have said before, keeping any possible anger out of the negotiations may help you avoid the possibility of a trial. Since divorce trials can be rather expensive for both of the spouses, this is something you should steer clear of if at all possible.

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As a Birmingham, AL, divorce lawyer and family law attorney I get many questions from clients regarding all aspects of divorce, separation, child custody and other divorce-related topics. This is a difficult time for all parties in a divorce, but there are some key topics that concern many a spouse and parent affected by legal separation and especially divorce, namely visitation rights.

What is Standard Visitation?
Depending on where you live in Alabama, you may have questions on what is standard visitation for any minor children involved in a divorce. While the custodial parent has little concern in this area, in my experience shows that the non-custodial parent is the one who is almost always anxious about the court’s decision regarding visitation.

In theory, most domestic relations and/or juvenile court judges have very wide latitude when it comes to visitation schedules. In fact, the court usually decides on a case-by-case basis what is best for the children. Depending on the facts and circumstances, the visitation schedule for one couple can be very different from that of another.

While there exist visitation guidelines, it is widely understood that most judges settle on their own “standard visitation” schedules, which they place in their orders. Because each judge has rather wide discretion to fashion a special visitation schedule for a particular couple, the parties going through the divorce should be prepared for certain deviations. This is why it is always advisable to retain the services of a qualified divorce and family law attorney.

It is also important to note that even the final order can vary slightly from the basic order. For instance, in one jurisdiction a Wednesday night could maybe be added if the parties ask for it, but the court may not allow much more that that, in spite of any agreements between the two parties. However in an adjoining county, you may well find that a Wednesday night is already part of the standard order.

In the end, divorcing parents will find that cooperation is the best approach when it comes to visitation. This is because the visitation order usually only applies when the parties cannot agree on their own schedule -- serving as a minimum allotment of time for the non-custodial parent to get his or her share of visitation. But if you both can agree on your a mutual schedule, then your are free to create and follow that no matter what the judge’s order states.
 

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The causes for divorce are many, but one of the primary reasons couples in Alabama get divorced is due to issues surrounding money. Whether it’s poor financial planning, excessive spending by one or both spouses or simply constant disagreement over household financial priorities, money can be the bane of a marital relationship. A surprisingly large percentage of people who become legally separated, as well as those who actually go through divorce, will tell you that money was the culprit.

As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I’ll add that it’s not just money, but the lack of communication about money that trips people up. A good marriage thrives on communication. Lack of communication hardly ever helps a relationship survive and often leads to divorce.

A recent New York Times article addressed this subject. There are several things to keep in mind when approaching the subject of household finances. Whether you’re living together and planning to get married, or married already, these pointers may make the difference in whether or not your future together will be relatively smooth going or rocky from the start.

Money: Topics of Conversation

1. Explore with your partner each other’s background as it applies to financial education. Did your parents teach you about money and personal finances? And what is your “financial philosophy”?
2. Talk about credit. Does each person know his or her credit score? Be honest about why your score may be low or how it could be improved. How can your credit scores and credit history affect your future as a married couple? Will they affect your goals?
3. Discuss who will take the lead in handling the family finances. Who handles it now? And who will decide how much each person can spend in order to maintain a positive cash flow for the family?
4. Talk about where you want to be financially in five years. Where do you want to be in 10 or 20 years? And what are your individual goals for retirement?

Marital Finances: For Richer, For Poorer
It’s hard to get through modern life these days without money, but when two people commit legally to each other, as with a marriage, each other’s finances become tied together, legally. A couple looking toward marriage should consider how the future combining of that pool of savings, income and finances will affect their life together. It can make for a smooth transition to a happy and growing marital relationship.

As a divorce lawyer in Alabama, I’ve seen the result of poor financial planning and bad money management and how these can negatively impact a marriage. Love may be the reason you got together, but money can be your undoing. My advice is to be open and talk about each other’s wants and needs. You may find that it’s liberating and takes the guesswork out of planning for your happy future together.

Money Talks to Have Before Marriage, NYTimes.com, October 23, 2009

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These days everyone is concerned about their future. Individuals facing marriage are no different and that is why many people considering marriage look at a prenuptial agreement as a way of preserving their property in case the marriage somehow does not work out. While a “prenup” should not be looked at as foreshadowing a future breakdown (and possible divorce) in a marital relationship, it is many times a necessary “evil” in these uncertain times.

As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I’ve helped many clients craft their prenuptial agreements based on their own set of personal circumstances. Whether you are a future husband or wife, a big concern for many folks is how even the suggestion of a prenup will affect their relationship heading into marriage. Frankly, if both partners are adults, it should not affect their romantic relationship one bit.

From a legal standpoint, a prenuptial agreement is simply a written document created between the bride and groom prior to the marriage ceremony and exchanging of vows. Like any agreement, the prenup addresses property settlements in the event of divorce -- this may or may not include other legal considerations, such as additional obligations that may arise during the marriage.

For couples in Alabama, the law provides for certain required procedures during the creation of the prenup. These include full financial disclosure between the two parties. An important point to make here is that the law in no uncertain terms prohibits a prenuptial agreement if either party has not truthfully represented the facts.

While prenuptial agreements became well known years ago as the wealthy person’s prerequisite to marriage, these documents have becomes more and more common among individuals of more modest means. Perhaps even more important for those who have worked so hard for just a modest nest egg or investment property, prenuptial agreements are a means of reassuring the soon-to-be spouses that each party’s assets are protected.

Not just a way of preserving one’s wealth in the event of a divorce, prenuptial agreements can also be used in the event of death or to establish other postnuptial agreements.

Another use for a prenup is when entering into a second marriage. Since an individual may have sizable assets from a previous marriage, creating a prenuptial agreement is a way of retain sole ownership of those assets so that they may be passed onto any children from the first marriage, for example.

As with any legal document -- to ensure that a prenuptial agreement is valid and to be sure that both partner’s rights are protected -- I highly recommend that each party consult with their own separate attorneys prior to entering into the prenup. It may not be the most romantic aspect of marriage, but it could make your future that much more secure.

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In Alabama, as in other parts of the country, there are certain issues that accompany divorce. As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, my office handles all aspects of legal separation, divorce, marital agreements and other legal matters affecting couples in Birmingham and the surrounding area. Anyone with kids who is going through or contemplating a divorce should consider the laws governing custody and visitation rights.

Custody in Alabama
The law provides for three different types of child custody: That of temporary custody, physical custody and, of course, legal custody. In Alabama, the courts typically encourage folks to share responsibility for their children by ordering joint custody whenever practical and physically possible. However, numerous factors must be considered before making this judgment.

It’s important to note that the courts in Birmingham, Montgomery and other cities and towns throughout the state are always able to deviate from the general rule as long as it is in the best interest of the child (or children).

Temporary Custody
This approach to custody, temporary, is exactly what it sounds like. Usually when a couple with children at home files for a divorce, the court will automatically enter and order for temporary child custody. This is just for the duration of the proceedings so that the children’s immediate interests are addressed, but the final custody decision always overrides this order at the conclusion of the divorce. The marital agreement should include the court’s final custody and visitation order.

Legal Custody
The final marital agreement will include a legal child custody order. Joint legal custody means that both parents make the major decisions that affect any children the couple may have. Naturally, the courts look for a cooperative attitude between the parents to ensure that the decisions will be made jointly and in the best interest of the children.

Alabama Joint Custody
An important point to make here is that the State of Alabama has a policy, which is governed by Alabama law that encourages the court to order joint custody in all custody cases, but allows the courts to deviate from that rule if it is in the best of the children.
If it deviates a court wishes to deviate from public policy, the court must state its findings in the record.

These are all practical considerations for any spouse to consider when children are involved. I always encourage people in this difficult time of their lives to consult early with a qualified divorce and family law attorney. A qualified legal expert can explain the various forms of custody, and answer any other questions you may have about divorce, custody or visitation orders.

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One of the biggest concerns among parents going through a divorce is the law’s affect on the custody of the children. In this respect, couples without kids have less to worry about, but having a qualified family law and divorce attorney at your side is the first step toward a better outcome. Here in Birmingham, and across Alabama as well, the courts have a great deal of discretion when it comes to child custody cases.

In any custody proceeding, the child or children in question become wards of the court, and as such the court is entirely concerned with any issues affecting those children. For example, in Ex parte Divine, the Alabama Supreme Court listed a dozen factors that must be considered when deciding upon the best interests of a child during a custody proceeding. These include:

• Sex and age(s) of the child or children
• Emotional, social, moral, material and educational needs of each child
• Type of home environment offered by each parent
• Each parent’s age, character, stability, and mental and physical health
• The individual parent’s capacity and interest in providing for the emotional, social, etc., needs of child or children
• Relationship between each child and each parent
• Relationship between the children themselves
• Effect on the children that disrupting, or continuing, an existing custodial arrangement would possibly cause
• Any preference(s) of child or children, assuming they are of sufficient age and maturity
• Recommendations of experts
• Any available alternatives
• Any relevant matters

Understand that past performance is often quite crucial in the court’s determination as to custody of a child. However, a spouse's prior performance may not be an accurate portrait of their future performance once the realities of a divorce become known. For example, a spouse who used to work at home taking care of the kids may not be able to stay home full-time once the divorce is final. This happens frequently as the financial situation of one of the two parents usually changes substantially after the divorce. The same can be said for his or her time constraints and other realities, which may have changed as well.

Because of this, the court has ultimate power in determining the custody situation with each child during the proceedings. This is just one more reason why my firm advocates divorce mediation and collaborative legal processes whenever possible. Parents should be the ones determining your child's best interests, not the courts.

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With an apparent trend lower in the divorce rate across the country and likely in Alabama as well, many couples might feel that cohabitation is a viable alternative to marriage. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I know the pitfalls of this kind of approach to a long-term relationship. When it comes to separation and divorce, one or both of the parties in a live-in relationship may think they are avoiding the complications associated with a traditional marriage, but you might be surprised to know that this may not be the case here in Alabama.

Certainly, it seems that on the surface cohabitation free one party from any legal responsibility to the other in cases where the relationship doesn’t work out and the two people part ways. However, Alabama is one of the few states that still recognizes common law marriage, which is defined roughly as a union between two people not formalized in the customary manner as prescribed by law but created by an agreement to marry followed by cohabitation.

Furthermore, cohabitating couples in Alabama may be shocked to learn that they could already be married in the eyes of the law, and with that, be affected by the same laws that pertain to other, legally married couples in terms of divorce, spousal and child support, division of property and other aspects of a divorce. Even if divorce is not the issue, there are other aspects that may be of particular importance to one or the other party, such as property ownership, rights of survivorship, spousal benefits, and other marital amenities.

Although common law marriage is prohibited in most parts of the United States, the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution requires all states that prohibit it to nonetheless recognize a common law marriage created in a jurisdiction that allows it, such as Alabama. In fact, the laws in all states require a common-law spouse to obtain a divorce before remarrying.

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As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I have counseled many clients on the pros and cons of legal separation and divorce. Here in Alabama, the frequency of divorce is still the highest in the nation, but overall the rates of separation and divorce in cities such as Birmingham and Montgomery mirror that of the rest of the U.S. -- according to reports, people are divorcing less frequently than ever before. But why is this?

As an Alabama divorce lawyer, I've heard a number of theories. Some suggest that folks are just not getting married as often. Instead, couples are choosing to together -- this may be true, since research has proven that the number of couples living together has increased by a factor of ten since 1960.

Another school of though is that many married couples include a higher percentage of college educated people. The thinking here is that in such families both parties may work, reducing financial stress, and allowing the couples to remain married. Finally, some sociologists suggest that in some parts of the country the stigma of being divorced has increased, which may force couples in these areas to work harder to stay married. This may have a significant impact on some, but the media may also be a factor.

As we have seen on TV, in the newspapers and online, more and more politicians, celebrities and other famous, high profile people who have revealed their indiscretions also seem to have spouses who are willing to “stick it out” to make the marriage work.

We’ve seen it here in Alabama and in our nation’s capital. Folks like South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford, former presidential candidate John Edwards, and recently resigned Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley. In each case, either the man or his wife said they planned to work on saving their marriages. Now, data on divorce and infidelity suggest that something similar is happening between lesser-known couples more often than people suspect.

While the divorce rate appears to be down, the percentage of married people who report having cheated on their spouse has remained about the same. While sociologists and demographers offer a variety of possible explanations - including a decline in the number of married people and people waiting until they're older to marry - many point to the economic downturn to explain how spouses respond to infidelity.

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Divorce strikes every socio-economic group, every religion and every race. Here in Alabama, be it Birmingham, Montgomery, Huntsville or Mobile, and thoughout this great country of ours, legal separation and divorce also plagues our military personnel. Serving the United States of America is one of the greatest honors an American can experience, but being a part of our armed forces also requires great sacrifice. Tours of duty in faraway and often hostile lands put great strains on married couples and the families of these dedicated soldiers.

As a compassionate Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I’ve seen the heartache of divorce firsthand. No one wants to go there, but as hard as it is to hear, divorce remains a fact of life for many of our service men and woman. Every branch of the U.S. Military has its share of sad stories of families torn apart. My job, as an Alabama divorce lawyer is to make certain that the process is as simple and pain free as possible, while keeping my client’s best interests at heart.

An important point to remember, as a member of the military seeking a divorce, is not to use the same attorneys that assisted your civilian friends or relatives. This is because military personnel and their spouses are subject to a special set of laws that don't apply to ordinary divorces. Furthermore, military divorces are complicated by the physical distances between the parties, especially if one or both spouses are on active duty and stationed overseas or in another state.

For these reasons alone military people need a divorce attorney with special expertise in the state and federal laws that apply to military divorce. My office offers assistance to military personnel in Alabama from all branches of the service, as well as their spouses. This includes divorces between couples who live permanently in Alabama and those stationed in Alabama, as well as representation of people who can't be physically present in Alabama.

Occasionally, these individuals have special circumstances, due to their military service. One of the unusual aspects of military divorce is that these families tend to move frequently and may have a choice of states in which to file -- this allows them and their attorneys to choose the state whose laws best fit their situation. This can make a huge difference in the outcome of a divorce settlement.

From the complications of serving a spouse with divorce papers, to determining support, alimony and property division, choosing the proper divorce lawyer for your personal situation is critical. This is why I always tell fiends and family who have loved ones serving in the U.S. Military to be mindful when contemplating divorce or separation. Your future happiness and welfare could be on the line.

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While it is never an easy decision, there are many good reasons for getting a divorce in Alabama. Whether you reside in Montgomery, Huntsville, Mobile or any one of the dozens of small towns throughout our state, financial matters and basic incompatibility are common complaints leading to separation and divorce. But as a Birmingham family law and divorce lawyer, I can easily say that domestic abuse, either between the two marriage partners or between one of the parents and the children, is by far the most serious reasons behind any divorce action.

Child abuse is particularly awful. In Alabama, physical abuse as it pertains to children can mean several things. Per Alabama Code 26-14-1(1)-(3), physical harm or threatened harm to the health or welfare of a child can be through:

1. Non-accidental physical injury
2. Sexual abuse or attempted sexual abuse
3. Sexual exploitation or attempted sexual exploitation

The state statutes also provide for emotional abuse, which is defined by Alabama state law as being non-accidental mental injury.

Similarly neglect, according to the state of Alabama, is defined as the negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child, including the failure to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical treatment, or supervision. It is important to mention that Alabama provides an exception to the area of neglect in Alabama Code 26-14-7.2, which states that a parent who fails to provide medical treatment to a child due to the legitimate practice of religious beliefs shall not be considered negligent for that reason alone. This exception shall not preclude a court from ordering that medical services be provided to the child.

Finally, sexual abuse is one of the most egregious offenses that a spouse can perpetrate on another family member, especially a child within the family circle. In Alabama, child sexual abuse includes the flowing:

1. The employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in any sexually explicit conduct, or
2. Having a child assist any other person to engage in any sexually explicit conduct
3. Any simulation of the conduct for the purpose of producing any visual depiction of the conduct
4. The rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children
5.  Incest with children

In general, sexual exploitation is defined as allowing, permitting, or encouraging a child to engage in prostitution; allowing, permitting, encouraging, or engaging in the obscene or pornographic photographing, filming, or depicting of a child for commercial purposes.

No matter what your situation -- separation, contested divorce, mediated divorce, etc. -- choosing a qualified family law and divorce lawyer is the first step to a better life for you and your children. Don’t settle for just good enough when it comes to your future happiness and security. Do your homework and choose your divorce attorney wisely. For more information on child welfare issues, visit the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' child welfare website.

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These days it’s not hard to find families in distress. Divorce and separation loom large as people face a variety of stress factors that make for a daunting day-to-day existence for many married couples. Along with all the other challenges of married life, the current world economic situation has created more difficulties. From Birmingham and Huntsville to Montgomery and Mobile, we can all see it. As an Alabama divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I hear on a daily basis the hardships taken on by many married couples around our state.

Anybody who has ever been married knows that trouble with the family finances can easily trigger marital discord. In fact, financial stress is one of the most common factors leading to divorce. The past couple years have been extremely difficult, even for the most well-adjusted couples. Everyone is feeling the pressure and uncertainty of the global economy.

Some things cannot be controlled, but one point to keep in mind is that when family problems lead to divorce, it can be very tough on a person's finances. Of course, divorce itself can add to your costs, such as legal fees, a possible second residence and sometimes shared custody or support orders.

This is a lot to consider, especially if you are already in debt. Any additional financial obligations can quickly become overwhelming. With constant calls from creditors, some people begin to feel trapped to the point of filing for bankruptcy. But bankruptcy can also greatly impact certain aspects of your divorce.

For instance, which proceeding you file first can change what you own and owe under the law. Following a divorce, the language used in the divorce decree can even determine whether spouses' debts to one another are wiped out by the bankruptcy. If you're considering a bankruptcy during or after divorce, or if your former spouse is considering it, you must speak with a qualified family law attorney. I cannot stress this enough.

In a nutshell, most people have two options open to them. In a Chapter 7, or liquidation, bankruptcy, a person sells all of his or her assets they can in order to pay off your creditors. Any remaining bills are then forgiven. In a Chapter 13, or restructuring, bankruptcy, a person chooses to keep their assets while making a plan to gradually repay their creditors over a three- to five-year period.

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