Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

To finish up my final installment of things married women in Alabama should keep in mind as they approach divorce or legal separation, I’m including a few additional points to consider in this time of emotional and financial upheaval. It makes no difference whether you live in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, or Huntsville, the situation remains the same. Divorce is a sad fact for many women and going into it with yours eyes wide open is the best strategy for getting through with the least amount of surprises.

The decisions you make during a divorce proceeding can affect you and your kids for many years to come. The old adage, “Ignorance is Bliss,” is not the phrase you want to stand by in this case. Doing lots of research and finding an experienced divorce and family law attorney to be by your side is the best plan of action for any woman facing marital strife and ultimately, divorce.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, my clients come first. Because my job is to help them throughout the divorce process, I also try to be there for emotional and moral support. The following are some final points to keep in mind when preparing to follow through with a divorce, or when you’re just doing some investigation for the future.

6) Hard as it may be, you must face your worst economic fears. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous “bag lady” and wondered how she arrived at that station in life. Similarly, it’s not surprising that many women experience the fear that they, too, will be left to fend for themselves, homeless on the street.

Suddenly being thrust into the position of being the sole breadwinner for your family can be a frightening prospect. Being primarily accountable for all aspects of your children’s lives going forward is a big responsibility, but don’t think you’re the only person ever to face the unknowns of post-divorce life.

Your income may come up short and the bills in the mail can seem relentless, but be assured that thousands of women every year make to this point and beyond. Just look around. You probably know more than a few divorced ladies who have faced the same challenges and still made a better life for themselves and their kids. Many became strong for the experience through the entire process.

7) Never assume that your so-called ‘permanent’ alimony will always be around. It’s fairly common for women who have been married for some time and also out of the job market to receive permanent alimony. Especially if your soon-to-former spouse was a good wage earner, you will likely be awarded this by the court.

However, circumstances change. If your ex comes down with a serious illness, loses his job or gets a demotion, he is entitled to seek a reduction (or worse) termination of his monthly obligation to you. A more common situation is that the wife is awarded support for a finite period with the option of extending support in the future. In the worst of cases, the court may decide that you have the abilities and health to pursue gainful employment yourself -- if your marriage was relatively short, you may get nothing at all.

The bottom line is you must be prepared to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. They say that God helps those who help themselves and it is those with foresight who look to the future by pursuing further education and learning new skills. By taking the initiative early on, you will make yourself less vulnerable economically if and when that alimony runs out.

8) Finally, have faith in your own abilities and desire to make a better future. Believing in yourself goes a long way toward making good things happen. Don’t be so concerned about finding Mr. Right the second time around. If it happens, it happens. But until it does, concentrate on Number One. Taking control of your life as you open this newest chapter will make all the difference.

You may discover skills or talents that you never knew you had. You might find that you have abilities that were dormant during your married life, which could truly open the door to a better future. Have faith and be strong. Write your own success story and remember: Living well and being happy can sometimes be the best revenge.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Previously, I touched on a couple points to remember when approaching divorce. Whether you live in Mobile, Dothan, Tuscaloosa of Huntsville, every woman going though or contemplating a divorce in Alabama should recognize some of the more common traps that people fall into during this emotionally draining time.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, I always try to help my clients with all aspects of the divorce process. Whether you are just now thinking about becoming legally separated or already going through a divorce, you should always approach the process with a clear mind.

The following are some additional points to keep in mind when making the transition to being single again. Naturally, you should retain the services of an experienced divorce lawyer to make certain that you have covered all the areas that pertain to your circumstances.

3)  Learn early on the details of custody in Alabama. Sadly for many women going through divorce today, gone are the days of courts automatically handing over custody to the children’s mother. While preference has tended to go to the mother in the past, this is no longer the case when determining a sole or primary custodian for the kids of divorced parents.

Since there exist multiple options and variations on both custody and parenting provisions, you should perform at least as much research on child custody as you probably did when it came to your pregnancy or schooling your children. The more you know going into the divorce process, the better prepared you will be when the time comes to arguing for custody of your kids.

4)  Don’t always assume you absolutely must keep the house. This is one of the key mistakes that many women make when faced with divorce. And it’s not surprising since our homes often symbolize security and stability for the children. But temper this urge until you can truly assess the impact of keeping the house. Many times the costs can be much too high for a single parent.

Maybe you feel you can swing it, but also consider current market conditions and the state of the economy from a jobs perspective. Could you sell the house quickly and at the price you want if you lost you job? Renting has become a better option for some people ever since the economy got rough.

Do some number crunching with the help of a financial or legal advisor to determine all of the pros and cons of holding onto a home as a single parent. If you do decide to sell the house while the two of you are still married, or as part of a settlement, you can share the fix-up costs, carrying costs, brokerage fees and any capital gains tax with your spouse, rather than being solely responsible for them.

5)  Don’t underestimate your retirement assets. If you are still in your prime earning years, or even if you are middle-aged and still very productive, it may be difficult to fully appreciate the benefits and importance of tax-deferred assets in IRA, 401(k) or pension accounts. And although it may be tempting to take “offsetting” cash or the house or even the family car now, while putting off worrying about tomorrow for later, the tax implications could set you back further than you may know.

A financial advisor can help you to carefully analyze long-term needs versus cash-in-hand options. Again, being prepared ahead of time will save you a great deal of grief after the divorce is final. Use the internet and other specialized services to help you make the right financial decisions the first time because you usually cannot go back once you take monies out of a tax-deferred account, for instance.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

For some women, it may be difficult to face up to the fact that their husband will not be taking care of all those things he previously handled for the family. Promises of trying to work things out or the feeling that if the two of you just sat down with a third party things would get better are falsely comforting and get in the way of actual planning needed to transition to being single again.

The reality is that you and your spouse take on adversarial roles where what used to be common and shared interests in things such as assets and living expenses. Because you need to be fully aware of your entire financial picture, one solution would be to assume the best, but prepare for the worst.

In this case it is important to find a qualified divorce lawyer to whom you can put some, but not all of your reliance. While you can listen to what may or may not be a fair and equitable proposition for settlement from your spouse, always consult with your attorney before making any ultimate commitments.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.

How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010

 

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

• Community finances
• Assets 
• Children

 

Each of these areas include complicated and very serious topics, so it is a smart move to approach each of them separately and resolve one before addressing the next. Meeting each other halfway can go a long way toward speeding along the No-fault divorce process and getting on with your life.

Once a friendly agreement is arrived at for the above three areas, the balance of a No-Fault divorce includes putting the information you accumulated on various state documents including the initial divorce complaint, then signing the documents and filing them with your particular Court of Jurisdiction.

Alabama has a waiting period of 60 days from the date of signed Decree of Divorce before either spouse can remarry within the state. However, there is no waiting period for an out-of-state marriage.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Divorce can be a painful and life-altering event for most married people, especially if children are involved. In my last entry, I discussed a few of the initial steps when moving toward divorce in Alabama. For most individuals, going through a legal separation or divorce can be a very emotional time.

As a divorce lawyer with a Birmingham family law practice, I recommend that people in the throes of divorce attempt to avoid emotionality as much as possible. Though it is difficult, keeping a cool head is highly desirable when going through such a serious legal process as divorce. The following is the second part of my discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

One of the initial steps in kicking off the formal divorce procedure is the creation of a complaint (or petition) requesting a divorce, which is filed by one or the other spouse. Once the petition is filed, the other spouse must file an answer in kind -- this is that spouse’s “response.” The petition usually includes items such as requests for temporary orders regarding custody of the couple’s children (if any) and visitation, alimony and, or in addition to, child support payments. It is not uncommon that the petitioning spouse will request the other to pay his or her lawyer costs.

Following the petition, the next step is for your attorney to undertake legal discovery. Just as in any law suit, this is done to obtain information pertinent to the divorce. This information will help determine the amount of spousal and/or child support, as well as attorney fees that you may be required to pay -- or the amount that you will receive.

Depending on your particular circumstances, retaining the services of a forensic accountant can be very helpful when searching for your spouse’s potentially hidden assets. This kind of accountant can also assist in analyzing your overall debts and assets. Others professionals involved in this process may include CPAs, appraiser and tax advisors, who can help you become aware of the tax implications and other potential risks of hanging onto or giving up property.

Prior to the commencement of settlement negotiations, it is wise to know what items you want the agreement to cover. Being able to understand the various tax consequences or other financial issues tied to each offer and counteroffer made during the negotiations is critical to a successful outcome. This is why having a qualified divorce lawyer on your side during these negotiations makes a great deal of sense.

As an unemotional advocate, an attorney can make the entire process much easier. As I have said before, keeping any possible anger out of the negotiations may help you avoid the possibility of a trial. Since divorce trials can be rather expensive for both of the spouses, this is something you should steer clear of if at all possible.

When the negotiation stage is completed, a settlement agreement will be drawn up to reflect the terms that were mutually settled upon. If, on the other hand, the negotiations break down for some reason, the divorce proceeding will head to trial, in which a judge will decide how to divvy up your assets, as well as determine which spouse will get custody of the children (if any). During the trial, the judge will also decide how much child support and/or alimony will be paid.

Regardless of how the final divorce settlement is arrived at, either through cooperative negotiation or by trial, when all is said and done a final divorce decree will be created based on the complete terms of the settlement agreement.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

With an apparent trend lower in the divorce rate across the country and likely in Alabama as well, many couples might feel that cohabitation is a viable alternative to marriage. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I know the pitfalls of this kind of approach to a long-term relationship. When it comes to separation and divorce, one or both of the parties in a live-in relationship may think they are avoiding the complications associated with a traditional marriage, but you might be surprised to know that this may not be the case here in Alabama.

Certainly, it seems that on the surface cohabitation free one party from any legal responsibility to the other in cases where the relationship doesn’t work out and the two people part ways. However, Alabama is one of the few states that still recognizes common law marriage, which is defined roughly as a union between two people not formalized in the customary manner as prescribed by law but created by an agreement to marry followed by cohabitation.

Furthermore, cohabitating couples in Alabama may be shocked to learn that they could already be married in the eyes of the law, and with that, be affected by the same laws that pertain to other, legally married couples in terms of divorce, spousal and child support, division of property and other aspects of a divorce. Even if divorce is not the issue, there are other aspects that may be of particular importance to one or the other party, such as property ownership, rights of survivorship, spousal benefits, and other marital amenities.

Although common law marriage is prohibited in most parts of the United States, the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution requires all states that prohibit it to nonetheless recognize a common law marriage created in a jurisdiction that allows it, such as Alabama. In fact, the laws in all states require a common-law spouse to obtain a divorce before remarrying.

With so much at stake, an Alabama lawyer trained in divorce and family law should be sought in matters such as this, because the tests for common law marriage in Alabama can be vague at best. Should a court decide that the couple qualifies as being in a common law marriage, all the legal processes that apply to a legal marriage would apply.

Because of this, if someone in a current cohabitation arrangement feels that he or she may want to leave the relationship now or in the future, it would be wise to enlist the help of a qualified legal professional to sort out the legal standing of that particular relationship.
 

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Divorce strikes every socio-economic group, every religion and every race. Here in Alabama, be it Birmingham, Montgomery, Huntsville or Mobile, and thoughout this great country of ours, legal separation and divorce also plagues our military personnel. Serving the United States of America is one of the greatest honors an American can experience, but being a part of our armed forces also requires great sacrifice. Tours of duty in faraway and often hostile lands put great strains on married couples and the families of these dedicated soldiers.

As a compassionate Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I’ve seen the heartache of divorce firsthand. No one wants to go there, but as hard as it is to hear, divorce remains a fact of life for many of our service men and woman. Every branch of the U.S. Military has its share of sad stories of families torn apart. My job, as an Alabama divorce lawyer is to make certain that the process is as simple and pain free as possible, while keeping my client’s best interests at heart.

An important point to remember, as a member of the military seeking a divorce, is not to use the same attorneys that assisted your civilian friends or relatives. This is because military personnel and their spouses are subject to a special set of laws that don't apply to ordinary divorces. Furthermore, military divorces are complicated by the physical distances between the parties, especially if one or both spouses are on active duty and stationed overseas or in another state.

For these reasons alone military people need a divorce attorney with special expertise in the state and federal laws that apply to military divorce. My office offers assistance to military personnel in Alabama from all branches of the service, as well as their spouses. This includes divorces between couples who live permanently in Alabama and those stationed in Alabama, as well as representation of people who can't be physically present in Alabama.

Occasionally, these individuals have special circumstances, due to their military service. One of the unusual aspects of military divorce is that these families tend to move frequently and may have a choice of states in which to file -- this allows them and their attorneys to choose the state whose laws best fit their situation. This can make a huge difference in the outcome of a divorce settlement.

From the complications of serving a spouse with divorce papers, to determining support, alimony and property division, choosing the proper divorce lawyer for your personal situation is critical. This is why I always tell fiends and family who have loved ones serving in the U.S. Military to be mindful when contemplating divorce or separation. Your future happiness and welfare could be on the line.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Going through a divorce in Alabama is hard enough, but picking up the pieces and getting on with your life afterward can be a major challenge as well. One thing that can’t be ignored are your finances. This can be a big hurdle, because usually one or the other spouse was the “accountant” in the relationship. Still, even savvy domestic money manages can use some advice.

Working here in Birmingham as a family law and divorce attorney, I am frequently asked by clients what their strategy should be regarding the financial side of a divorce settlement. Knowing your money situation and other household finances is a big part of this. Also, understanding the tax implications of certain payments will make your life that much easier in the long run. Below are some typical mistakes that people going through divorce tend to make.

Number One: Hanging on to the house at all costs
This is not necessarily the best option. According to financial experts, more attention should be given to which person can afford to maintain the property -- including paying the mortgage and managing the taxes. However, don’t think that getting spousal support to help with the mortgage payments will keep you on easy street. Large unexpected costs, such as a new furnace or other large-scale maintenance usually happen sometime or another, which can make home ownership more of a burden and les of a luxury.

Number Two: Failing to make a clean financial break with your ex-spouse
Cleanly separating each of your debts and assets, especially if you have been married for a long time, can be a difficult task, but a very necessary one. Most any financial counselor will tell you this is absolutely necessary, and the consequences of not doing so can be devastating. It may seem overwhelming, but the alternative is many times worse. You don’t want to have your ex racking up debt and ruining your personal credit score.

Number Three: Counting on your ex to comply with his financial obligations
While both parties in a divorce are beholden to the court-ordered divorce agreement, creditors do not fall under that arrangement. If your ex is supposed to pay the mortgage but fails to do so, the lender is apt to sue you both. And any missed payments or a default on a mortgage will hurt you next time you apply for a loan.

Number Four: Not reviewing your estate plan following your divorce
Wills and trusts can both be seriously impacted by divorce proceedings. If a divorced spouse waits too long to change the beneficiary on a will or life insurance policy, the money could end up going to the wrong person, and your new spouse may get nothing. It seems incredible, but there have been instances where an ex-spouse inherits money from a former wife or husband.

Number Five: Not understanding the different tax treatments for alimony and child support
As a last note, you should always be aware of which amount of money in your divorce settlement goes for alimony, and which goes for child support. Whereas child support payments are exempt from tax by the recipient, alimony payments are taxable. Also, remember that there are limits to how long a person can receive these payments. For instance, child support payments can no longer be received once the child turns 18 years of age, or is finished with college, and spousal support typically ceases once that person gets remarried.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Under Alabama divorce law it is possible to obtain temporary alimony from your spouse while the divorce is proceeding.  An Alabama divorce lawyer will file a motion for Pendente Lite with the court in order to obtain this temporary support.  Pendente lite is Latin for "while the action is pending."  Temporary alimony or support in Alabama is often required when a spouse cannot sustain the same standard of living during the divorce she/he would have maintained prior to the divorce proceedings.  Often, temporary support is given to spouses going through an Alabama divorce proceeding when the spouse has no other assets, i.e. a stay at home mom and wife without any other income.  However, even with additional income, if you are unable to maintain the same standard of living to which you are accustomed, you may be eligible for temporary alimony during the Alabama divorce. 

Temporary alimony is just that, temporary.  It will end when the divorce ends and will be replaced by a final spousal support award.  If you are experiencing difficulties in maintaining your standard of living during a divorce, you owe it to yourself to contact an experienced Alabama Divorce lawyer and attorney as soon as possible.  The Alabama divorce and family law attorneys and lawyers of Eversole Law will make sure you get the Alabama temporary support and alimony you deserve. 

• Email This
• Print
• Comments (3)
• Trackbacks

In Alabama, when a divorce has been granted in favor of one party based upon the misconduct of the other party, the judge may grant awards from the estate of the spouse committing the misconduct to the other spouse.  The misconduct itself may also be used by the judge in determining the amount of the award.  However, this provision is subject to the marital property rule and/or the inheritance rule.  In general, property held by a party prior to the marriage, or property received by inheritance or gift,  is not marital property and cannot be distributed to the other party during a divorce.  Alabama Code Section 30-2-52 defines how a judge may award property after granting a divorce based upon misconduct.   

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks