Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

The causes for divorce are many, but one of the primary reasons couples in Alabama get divorced is due to issues surrounding money. Whether it’s poor financial planning, excessive spending by one or both spouses or simply constant disagreement over household financial priorities, money can be the bane of a marital relationship. A surprisingly large percentage of people who become legally separated, as well as those who actually go through divorce, will tell you that money was the culprit.

As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, I’ll add that it’s not just money, but the lack of communication about money that trips people up. A good marriage thrives on communication. Lack of communication hardly ever helps a relationship survive and often leads to divorce.

A recent New York Times article addressed this subject. There are several things to keep in mind when approaching the subject of household finances. Whether you’re living together and planning to get married, or married already, these pointers may make the difference in whether or not your future together will be relatively smooth going or rocky from the start.

Money: Topics of Conversation

1. Explore with your partner each other’s background as it applies to financial education. Did your parents teach you about money and personal finances? And what is your “financial philosophy”?
2. Talk about credit. Does each person know his or her credit score? Be honest about why your score may be low or how it could be improved. How can your credit scores and credit history affect your future as a married couple? Will they affect your goals?
3. Discuss who will take the lead in handling the family finances. Who handles it now? And who will decide how much each person can spend in order to maintain a positive cash flow for the family?
4. Talk about where you want to be financially in five years. Where do you want to be in 10 or 20 years? And what are your individual goals for retirement?

Marital Finances: For Richer, For Poorer
It’s hard to get through modern life these days without money, but when two people commit legally to each other, as with a marriage, each other’s finances become tied together, legally. A couple looking toward marriage should consider how the future combining of that pool of savings, income and finances will affect their life together. It can make for a smooth transition to a happy and growing marital relationship.

As a divorce lawyer in Alabama, I’ve seen the result of poor financial planning and bad money management and how these can negatively impact a marriage. Love may be the reason you got together, but money can be your undoing. My advice is to be open and talk about each other’s wants and needs. You may find that it’s liberating and takes the guesswork out of planning for your happy future together.

Money Talks to Have Before Marriage, NYTimes.com, October 23, 2009

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These days everyone is concerned about their future. Individuals facing marriage are no different and that is why many people considering marriage look at a prenuptial agreement as a way of preserving their property in case the marriage somehow does not work out. While a “prenup” should not be looked at as foreshadowing a future breakdown (and possible divorce) in a marital relationship, it is many times a necessary “evil” in these uncertain times.

As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I’ve helped many clients craft their prenuptial agreements based on their own set of personal circumstances. Whether you are a future husband or wife, a big concern for many folks is how even the suggestion of a prenup will affect their relationship heading into marriage. Frankly, if both partners are adults, it should not affect their romantic relationship one bit.

From a legal standpoint, a prenuptial agreement is simply a written document created between the bride and groom prior to the marriage ceremony and exchanging of vows. Like any agreement, the prenup addresses property settlements in the event of divorce -- this may or may not include other legal considerations, such as additional obligations that may arise during the marriage.

For couples in Alabama, the law provides for certain required procedures during the creation of the prenup. These include full financial disclosure between the two parties. An important point to make here is that the law in no uncertain terms prohibits a prenuptial agreement if either party has not truthfully represented the facts.

While prenuptial agreements became well known years ago as the wealthy person’s prerequisite to marriage, these documents have becomes more and more common among individuals of more modest means. Perhaps even more important for those who have worked so hard for just a modest nest egg or investment property, prenuptial agreements are a means of reassuring the soon-to-be spouses that each party’s assets are protected.

Not just a way of preserving one’s wealth in the event of a divorce, prenuptial agreements can also be used in the event of death or to establish other postnuptial agreements.

Another use for a prenup is when entering into a second marriage. Since an individual may have sizable assets from a previous marriage, creating a prenuptial agreement is a way of retain sole ownership of those assets so that they may be passed onto any children from the first marriage, for example.

As with any legal document -- to ensure that a prenuptial agreement is valid and to be sure that both partner’s rights are protected -- I highly recommend that each party consult with their own separate attorneys prior to entering into the prenup. It may not be the most romantic aspect of marriage, but it could make your future that much more secure.

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As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I have counseled many clients on the pros and cons of legal separation and divorce. Here in Alabama, the frequency of divorce is still the highest in the nation, but overall the rates of separation and divorce in cities such as Birmingham and Montgomery mirror that of the rest of the U.S. -- according to reports, people are divorcing less frequently than ever before. But why is this?

As an Alabama divorce lawyer, I've heard a number of theories. Some suggest that folks are just not getting married as often. Instead, couples are choosing to together -- this may be true, since research has proven that the number of couples living together has increased by a factor of ten since 1960.

Another school of though is that many married couples include a higher percentage of college educated people. The thinking here is that in such families both parties may work, reducing financial stress, and allowing the couples to remain married. Finally, some sociologists suggest that in some parts of the country the stigma of being divorced has increased, which may force couples in these areas to work harder to stay married. This may have a significant impact on some, but the media may also be a factor.

As we have seen on TV, in the newspapers and online, more and more politicians, celebrities and other famous, high profile people who have revealed their indiscretions also seem to have spouses who are willing to “stick it out” to make the marriage work.

We’ve seen it here in Alabama and in our nation’s capital. Folks like South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford, former presidential candidate John Edwards, and recently resigned Tennessee Senator Paul Stanley. In each case, either the man or his wife said they planned to work on saving their marriages. Now, data on divorce and infidelity suggest that something similar is happening between lesser-known couples more often than people suspect.

While the divorce rate appears to be down, the percentage of married people who report having cheated on their spouse has remained about the same. While sociologists and demographers offer a variety of possible explanations - including a decline in the number of married people and people waiting until they're older to marry - many point to the economic downturn to explain how spouses respond to infidelity.

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