Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 3

To finish up my final installment of things married women in Alabama should keep in mind as they approach divorce or legal separation, I’m including a few additional points to consider in this time of emotional and financial upheaval. It makes no difference whether you live in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, or Huntsville, the situation remains the same. Divorce is a sad fact for many women and going into it with yours eyes wide open is the best strategy for getting through with the least amount of surprises.

The decisions you make during a divorce proceeding can affect you and your kids for many years to come. The old adage, “Ignorance is Bliss,” is not the phrase you want to stand by in this case. Doing lots of research and finding an experienced divorce and family law attorney to be by your side is the best plan of action for any woman facing marital strife and ultimately, divorce.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, my clients come first. Because my job is to help them throughout the divorce process, I also try to be there for emotional and moral support. The following are some final points to keep in mind when preparing to follow through with a divorce, or when you’re just doing some investigation for the future.

6) Hard as it may be, you must face your worst economic fears. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous “bag lady” and wondered how she arrived at that station in life. Similarly, it’s not surprising that many women experience the fear that they, too, will be left to fend for themselves, homeless on the street.

Suddenly being thrust into the position of being the sole breadwinner for your family can be a frightening prospect. Being primarily accountable for all aspects of your children’s lives going forward is a big responsibility, but don’t think you’re the only person ever to face the unknowns of post-divorce life.

Your income may come up short and the bills in the mail can seem relentless, but be assured that thousands of women every year make to this point and beyond. Just look around. You probably know more than a few divorced ladies who have faced the same challenges and still made a better life for themselves and their kids. Many became strong for the experience through the entire process.

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Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 2

Previously, I touched on a couple points to remember when approaching divorce. Whether you live in Mobile, Dothan, Tuscaloosa of Huntsville, every woman going though or contemplating a divorce in Alabama should recognize some of the more common traps that people fall into during this emotionally draining time.

As a Birmingham divorce attorney, I always try to help my clients with all aspects of the divorce process. Whether you are just now thinking about becoming legally separated or already going through a divorce, you should always approach the process with a clear mind.

The following are some additional points to keep in mind when making the transition to being single again. Naturally, you should retain the services of an experienced divorce lawyer to make certain that you have covered all the areas that pertain to your circumstances.

3)  Learn early on the details of custody in Alabama. Sadly for many women going through divorce today, gone are the days of courts automatically handing over custody to the children’s mother. While preference has tended to go to the mother in the past, this is no longer the case when determining a sole or primary custodian for the kids of divorced parents.

Since there exist multiple options and variations on both custody and parenting provisions, you should perform at least as much research on child custody as you probably did when it came to your pregnancy or schooling your children. The more you know going into the divorce process, the better prepared you will be when the time comes to arguing for custody of your kids.

4)  Don’t always assume you absolutely must keep the house. This is one of the key mistakes that many women make when faced with divorce. And it’s not surprising since our homes often symbolize security and stability for the children. But temper this urge until you can truly assess the impact of keeping the house. Many times the costs can be much too high for a single parent.

Maybe you feel you can swing it, but also consider current market conditions and the state of the economy from a jobs perspective. Could you sell the house quickly and at the price you want if you lost you job? Renting has become a better option for some people ever since the economy got rough.

Do some number crunching with the help of a financial or legal advisor to determine all of the pros and cons of holding onto a home as a single parent. If you do decide to sell the house while the two of you are still married, or as part of a settlement, you can share the fix-up costs, carrying costs, brokerage fees and any capital gains tax with your spouse, rather than being solely responsible for them.

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Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 1

Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

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Alabama Divorce News: Elizabeth and John Edwards Separate following Affair and Child with Rielle Hunter

By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.


How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010


 

Birmingham Family Law Update: Understanding No-fault Divorce in Alabama

Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

  1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
  2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
  3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

 

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Alabama Divorce Lawyer and Attorney

The Alabama divorce and family law attorneys and lawyers of Eversole Law offer legal services in Alabama divorce, alimony, child custody, child visitation, prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements, grandparents rights, adoption, and other Alabama family law matters. I founded my Alabama divorce and family law practice to ensure every Alabama family has access to affordable and qualified Alabama divorce and family lawyers and attorneys.  I will personally walk your family through the difficult process of an Alabama divorce proceeding and make sure your interests are protected in child custody, alimony or visitation proceedings and orders.  As an Alabama divorce lawyer I represent clients in Birmingham and throughout the state of Alabama, and I guarantee top notch service and quality legal professionalism.  When you chose an Alabama divorce lawyer or attorney from Eversole Law you are choosing personalized 24/7 service in a family like environment.  We take care of our clients in every way. 

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Divorce & Family Law Courts

My Alabama divorce and family law office is centrally located in Birmingham, Alabama so that we can offer our Alabama divorce, child custody and visitation, alimony, child support, adoption, prenuptial agreements, and other family law matters practice throughout the entire state of Alabama.  I represent clients in every court in Alabama including, but not limited to the following courts and jurisdictions:

In the Birmingham, Alabama Metro area I routinely try divorce and family law cases in the following cities and counties:

Jefferson County, Adamsville, Argo, Birmingham, Bessemer, Branchville, Fairfield, Fultondale, Gardendale, Homewood, Hoover, Hueytown, Irondale, Kimberly, Leeds, Morris, Mountain Brook, Odenville, Springville, Trussville, Vestavia, Warrior 

In the Shelby County, Alabama the lawyers and attorneys of Eversole law work in the following cities and courts:

Shelby County , Alabaster,  Columbiana, Harpersville, Hoover, Vincent, Pelham, Calera

Other areas of Alabama the lawyers of Eversole Law represent clients include:

Tuscaloosa, Northport, Chilton County, Jemison, Thorsby, Altoona, Talladega County, Jefferson County, Walker County, Madison County, Cullman, Hunstville, Decatur, Florence, Guntersville, Scottsboro, Montgomery, Pelham, Gadsden, Anniston, and all other counties and municipalities in Alabama.   

***This list is not exhaustive, my office will represent divorce and family law clients across the entire state of Alabama

Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Website

Please check out my firm's website.  My Alabama Divorce Law firm focuses our practice on divorce, child custody, child visitation, alimony and support, property division, asset protection, family law and more.  We cross the state of Alabama and regularly handle divorce and family law cases in Birmingham, Mountain Brook, Vestavia Hills, Hoover, Pelham, Leeds, Moody, Pell City, Trussville, Huntsville, Montgomery, Mobile, Tuscaloosa, Fultondale, Irondale, Homewood; and in counties like Jefferson County, St. Clair County, Madison County, Tuscaloosa County, Shelby County, Mobile County, Walker County, Jackson County, Marshall County, Limestone County, Chilton County, Bibb County, Talladega County, Montgomery County, Etowah County, Mobile County, Cullman County, Baldwin County, Winston County, Dekalb County and Cherokee County, etc. 

Divorce and Credit

Divorce can have significant consequences on your credit report.  Those seeking an Alabama divorce should be aware, or should be made aware by their Alabama divorce lawyer and attorney, of the sometimes significant havoc divorce can play on your credit report.  If your ex-spouse or soon to be ex-spouse has opened up any credit accounts using your name without your knowledge or consent, that is identity theft.  Identity theft is a serious criminal act, and your chances of "winning" a nice divorce settlement just shot through the roof.  If you are both listed on a card that either spouse continues to use, you will likely still be liable for charges.  Post divorce credit problems can usually be avoided by closing the joint accounts.  However, your credit can be interwoven with your ex-spouse for a long time.  Check out this excerpt from a U.S. News and World Report Article below:

"The Federal Trade Commission warns divorcing couples that the divorce decrees they negotiate, such as a commitment that one ex-spouse will pay off credit card debt, does not absolve the other ex-spouse from responsibility from the perspective of the credit reporting agencies. Creditors can still demand payment from the other spouse, which can negatively affect credit scores if it goes unpaid."

Thanks to the Moschetti law firm's family law blog for the tip. 

Property Division - Inheritance and Gifts

In Alabama, a party's separate estate is not automatically included in the Marital Property of the both spouses.  Likewise, a spouse's inheritance and gifts he/she receives, even while married, remains their own property, unless you move to convert the property into marital property.  You can covert your property into marital property by several means. Here are a few common examples:

  •  You could deposit your inheritance or gift into a joint checking account that both parties have access to and regularly make withdrawals.
  • Or you could inherit a nice beach house from your grandfather and you regularly take the family to the beach for vacations. The house is now marital property.

The court replies upon one key determining factor when it has to decide these issues.  The question invariably becomes, has the property been used "regularly for the common benefit of the parties in a divorce."