Alabama Divorce Attorney Update: Spouse's Destructive Behavior can lead to Separation and Divorce

Suspicion of infidelity is one of the first steps toward a broken marriage. But what if your spouse’s transgressions are not with another person, but with alcohol or drugs? Loss of love and trust through substance abuse can ruin a marriage as quickly as an affair. This is true whether you live in Montgomery, Hoover, Gadsden or Muscle Shoals.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I’ve seen many different scenarios leading to marital disharmony -- infidelity, inappropriate sexual behavior, financial irresponsibility, alcoholism and drug abuse, just to name a few.

More than once I have been asked whether or not one or all of these problems is grounds for divorce. When it comes to drug abuse by one of the partners in a marriage, I find that occasionally the spouse who is concerned about his or her partner’s addiction may want to have that individual tested for drugs. The question is whether this is a legitimate or practical request.

Simply put, if a spouse in a divorce action is interested in having the offending partner tested for illicit or prescription drugs, that party may file a motion with the court requesting testing. At this point, the judge presiding over the divorce case will make a decision as to whether or not that motion will be granted.

In Alabama, if custody of a child or children is an issue, as well as cases involving visitation rights, the judge will usually grant a motion. Typically, there must be some basis or reason for suspecting substance abuse on the part of a spouse. If the court is convinced of that there is merit to the request, then the motion for drug testing will likely be granted.

Divorce cases can be very contentious. Because of this, it’s not uncommon to have the other party respond to the drug testing with a motion of their own for the same or similar testing. In such instances, the judge will usually order both parties in the divorce to be tested. One caveat: Don’t be too sure that you will pass a similar test. It has been known for the spouse who initiated the testing to test positive for some substance that could negatively impact your side of the divorce action.

Depending on the jurisdiction, a court may require hair follicle testing, which is reportedly more accurate than other methods and also provides results that date back farther in time. Frankly speaking, anyone who uses drugs is likely not fit to raise children in the first place, which means that if you want custody of your kids, do not use drugs. The courts are not very sympathetic when substance abuse is indicated by one or the other spouse.

Birmingham Divorce Update: The Importance of Choosing the Right Alabama Divorce Attorney

Whether you live in Huntsville, Bessemer, Tuscaloosa or any of the dozens of cities and towns throughout Alabama, picking the right divorce lawyer can make the difference between a painful and costly divorce and a smooth and equitable split. Since nearly 50 percent of all marriages end up in divorce, this it is very important to make the right choices, not only in your future spouse, but also in your divorce and family law attorney.

As an experienced Birmingham attorney well versed in divorce and family law, I have assisted many clients through what can be a harrowing and emotionally difficult time in their lives. If children are involved, then the added pain and hard feelings can compound the situation to the extent that it affects even the couple’s friends and relatives.

Choosing the right attorney can alleviate some of the emotional anguish that inevitably comes from such a legal separation. Having counseled many individuals contemplating and going through divorce, I would like to provide a few key points for finding a good divorce attorney:

1) First and foremost, choose a lawyer who specializes in family law. This goes without saying. A family law attorney should be completed prepared with the correct paperwork and forms necessary to an Alabama divorce action, which also helps to speed things along and save you time and effort.

2) Make a determination as to the gender of your attorney. Some people are more comfortable talking to a lawyer of the same sex as themselves, but you must decide for yourself.

3) Choose an attorney who is knowledgeable about and has handled case in the particular county in which your case will be heard. Having a lawyer who is familiar with the local judges and other attorneys will help you in the long run.

4) Interview your candidate to see if he or she will fight aggressively for you if the going gets nasty, as it often can. You never want to “pick fights” with your soon-to-be-ex spouse, but you do need a lawyer who understands your circumstances and will act always in your best interests.

5) Seek out friends and family members who have been divorced to get their thoughts on what to expect and who helped them the most. Divorce is no cakewalk, but you should be able to find someone in your extended circle of friends who believes that their case was handled well and in a straightforward manner.

6) Never be afraid to switch lawyers if you feel that you are not being represented in the best way. Sometimes there may simply be a clash of personalities, but whatever the reason, you need to feel comfortable with the attorney who is handling you case because it means so much to you and your family.

Alabama Divorce and Family Law: Is Your Former Spouse Talking about Moving Away with the Kids?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer helping clients throughout Alabama, I understand the pain and anguish that people feel following a separation or conclusion of a divorce action. For folks who share children from a marriage that is now falling apart the hurt can go very deep, especially when custody comes into play.

No matter where you live in Alabama, be it Huntsville, Auburn, Madison or Opelika, divorce and separation are not easy. One issue that arises more often than not is that of relocation. It’s a sad fact, but in a society as mobile as ours and with an economy that is forcing people to look elsewhere for employment, relocation cases have become commonplace.

Once a divorce is final, it’s inevitable to have some tension between the custodial and non-custodial parents. However, this tension can elevate if the custodial parent needs or wants to move away and take the kids with them. In cases like this the non-custodial parents will desperately want to hang on to their relationship with the children, while everyone should consider the best interests of the kids as well.

The question that I get from folks is, Where does the law come down on the issue of relocation or “move away” cases? Naturally, many non-custodial parents want to know if they can prevent their former partner from physically relocating themselves and the kids. Similarly, the custodial parent wonders if he or she actually needs to get “approval” to move from the other, non-custodial parent.

Actually, there is an Alabama statute titled the “Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act,” part of the Alabama Code, Section 30-3-160. What this part of the law requires is for the custodial parent to submit written notice to the other party, the non-custodial parent, 45 days in advance of any intended move greater than 60 miles from his or her present residence.

The law regarding this required notice is very specific as to what should be included and in what form it should take. For instance, it must be delivered via certified mail. This is why it’s always important to consult a qualified family law attorney to be certain that you are following the letter of the law.

Once notice is given, the law gives the non-custodial parent 30 days to file a written objection  with the court. If an objection is filed, the court will then set a date to hear the individual parties and make a determination as to whether or not, in the judge’s opinion, the move is in the best interests of the children.

Birmingham Divorce Lawyer Update: Can You Put the Brakes on an Alabama Divorce?

Let’s assume that you’re embroiled in a divorce action with your soon-to-be former spouse, who initiated the case. Whether you live in Montgomery, Dothan, Decatur, or Auburn, or anywhere in Alabama, divorce is an emotional and heart-wrenching process especially when one party doesn’t see it coming. Add children into the equation and you have potential for one of the saddest and demoralizing episodes in your life.

Being a family law and divorce attorney practicing in the Birmingham area, I have represented many clients who found themselves in the throes of a painful divorce proceeding. Part of my job is to try and make the process as easy and straightforward as possible while attempting to provide some comfort and guidance to my clients. In some instances a spouse may be so upset that they literally want to stop the divorce in its tracks.

But is this actually possible or even advisable? It’s easy to say, “I want to stop this here and now.” In reality, it’s a different story entirely here in Alabama. The sad truth is that once one spouse is committed to getting a divorce, there is no way the other party can turn it off. Short of convincing your soon-to-be-former partner to pull the plug, that’s just the way Alabama divorce law is written.

In Alabama, if one of spouse insists on a divorce, that individual is going to get his or her way no matter what. And while you and your attorney can make the divorce process take longer, you can’t stop it. As they say in the halls of divorce court, it may take two to get married, but it only takes one to get divorced.

On the topic of reconciliation, you certainly can appeal to the other party to try and make the marriage work, but most divorce actions are an indication that the marital union is probably broken and no amount of energy is going to fix it.

If you know in your heart of hearts that your marriage was on its last legs when your spouse initiated the divorce, then it may be wise to follow their lead and make the best of a bad situation. This is where a qualified divorce lawyer and family law attorney can really help.

If you insist on making it work, it’s a good idea to bring in a third party who is not emotionally torn between either spouse. Schedule some sessions with a qualified marriage counselor or church pastor. If both parties are committed to making the marriage work, then these professionals can perhaps help you toward making things work better.