Alabama Divorce & Family Law Attorney Blog : Birmingham Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Eversole Law Firm : Serving Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile Alabama

These days it’s not hard to find families in distress. Divorce and separation loom large as people face a variety of stress factors that make for a daunting day-to-day existence for many married couples. Along with all the other challenges of married life, the current world economic situation has created more difficulties. From Birmingham and Huntsville to Montgomery and Mobile, we can all see it. As an Alabama divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I hear on a daily basis the hardships taken on by many married couples around our state.

Anybody who has ever been married knows that trouble with the family finances can easily trigger marital discord. In fact, financial stress is one of the most common factors leading to divorce. The past couple years have been extremely difficult, even for the most well-adjusted couples. Everyone is feeling the pressure and uncertainty of the global economy.

Some things cannot be controlled, but one point to keep in mind is that when family problems lead to divorce, it can be very tough on a person's finances. Of course, divorce itself can add to your costs, such as legal fees, a possible second residence and sometimes shared custody or support orders.

This is a lot to consider, especially if you are already in debt. Any additional financial obligations can quickly become overwhelming. With constant calls from creditors, some people begin to feel trapped to the point of filing for bankruptcy. But bankruptcy can also greatly impact certain aspects of your divorce.

For instance, which proceeding you file first can change what you own and owe under the law. Following a divorce, the language used in the divorce decree can even determine whether spouses' debts to one another are wiped out by the bankruptcy. If you're considering a bankruptcy during or after divorce, or if your former spouse is considering it, you must speak with a qualified family law attorney. I cannot stress this enough.

In a nutshell, most people have two options open to them. In a Chapter 7, or liquidation, bankruptcy, a person sells all of his or her assets they can in order to pay off your creditors. Any remaining bills are then forgiven. In a Chapter 13, or restructuring, bankruptcy, a person chooses to keep their assets while making a plan to gradually repay their creditors over a three- to five-year period.

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Divorce. It can be messy. It’s never easy. And many folks have been there. One thing I can tell you without hesitation, as an experienced Alabama divorce lawyer, you sometimes have to make a compromise to get the best outcome. Working out of Birmingham, AL, I’ve represented numerous spouses seeking separation or divorce. An uncontested divorce is not uncommong, but many divorces are fraught with challenges from both sides. Many of my past clients believed that mediation was out of the question, mainly because they were totally in the right and there “less-than-better-half” was completely in the wrong.

One thing you must consider when contemplating this kind of all-or-nothing approach is that the court may not agree with you. But listening to your divorce attorney is the best thing you can do. I and other family law attorneys across the state of Alabama know how divorce court functions. Whether you’re here in Birmingham, or out in Tuscaloosa, in and around Bessemer, or over by Gadsden, you’ll hear similar advice. Knowing when to compromise, versus taking your divorce to trial, is critical to a successful and satisfying outcome.

A family law attorney can guide you through a divorce with better judgment than if you drive the bus yourself. Without compromise, you will likely have to take your divorce case to trial, which in itself can be a difficult decision for any husband or wife. At the same time, by going to trial you are taking your chances not only with the outcome, but also with the cost -- in terms of time and money -- of extended litigation.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge that no person involved in a divorce wants to consent to an agreement that does not fully protect his or her property rights, future financial security or the custody of the children, if any. But naturally, if you do to go to trial with your divorce case, you will definitely benefit from an experienced and dedicated attorney by your side who will passionately advocate for the protection of your rights and seek the best possible results on your behalf.

So if you’re contemplating divorce, please consider the realities of your situation and try to put your emotions on the back burner. A little anger is healthy, but too much can cloud your thinking and cause you to make choices that you may regret later on. Pay attention to what your lawyer has to say. His or her opinion can be more valuable than you might imagine.
 

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Boys will be boys. That’s more than just a quaint saying here in Alabama. It’s one way of expressing the fact that youngsters have their own way of learning and growing up. People refer to “bad” kids as juvenile delinquents, losers or just plain troublemakers. Crimes, mostly property damage, theft and shoplifting, are unfortunately a part of some adolescents’ learning process on the way to becoming an adult. Needless to say, many parents are distressed to see a child of theirs commit any crime, but it’s important to remember, this is not the end of the world.

As a Birmingham juvenile defense attorney, I understand the way kids think and how they can become pulled into activities that would make their families cringe. I also know that not every child who commits a crime is a bad seed destined for a life of criminal activity. I can see it from the parents’ perspective and realize that most young people have great potential and much to offer society in their adult lives. That’s one of the reasons why I became a lawyer in the first place.

When it comes to juvenile defense, it is essential to understand that kids are always experimenting with the limits of acceptable behavior -- it’s a normal part of growing up, even though it can sometimes mean a brush with the law. Many of the children I have represented find themselves in a difficult family situation. Some made friends with the wrong crowd. On the whole, most of the youngsters I defend against a delinquency charge got there through a simple mistake or lack of good judgment, not because of a permanent malevolent streak.

I take juvenile defense very seriously, especially because these types of charges could affect an individual’s future direction in life. A one-time mistake or curious experimentation should never be allowed to overshadow the rest of a young life or limit a child’s future opportunities for success.

Most minors who get in trouble with the law in Alabama are typically charged with a delinquent act -- not a crime. But charges of juvenile delinquency still can have a lasting affect on a kid’s psyche, causing trouble in school and creating a poor self image. Conviction for such acts can result in a juvenile criminal record and exposure to additional bad influences. A guilty verdict can also affect future opportunities, such as qualifying for a student loan.

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Prior to 1991, Alabama did not have what one could call a modern adoption code, but since then Birmingham families, as well as couples all across this state, have had an easier time when adopting a child. Thanks to a much revised adoption code developed nearly 20 years ago, the process is no longer fraught with questions and legal black holes.

Many couples have walked through my door, anxious about adopting a child. As a Birmingham family law attorney, I can assure them that the process is typically very safe and extremely transparent.  In fact, because the Alabama State Legislature consulted the local adoption community when crafting the new code back in 1991, Alabama’s adoption law actually became a model over the years as other states moved to revise their old laws. Being a family law attorney in Alabama allows me to help people all across our state with adoptions and child custody cases.

In regard to adoptions, the following explains why Alabama’s current adoption law works so well for couples:

1) It clearly defines how much time the birth parents have to change their minds -- specifically, five days following either the birth of the child in question or the signing of relinquishments. This simple stipulation protects the birth parents since it provides a clear window of five days in which they can withdraw from the adoption. Meanwhile, it protects the adoptive family once that five-day window has finally closed.

Furthermore, the birth parents are given the choice of when they want that five-day countdown to commence. Also, a birth parent can choose to sign their relinquishment papers even before the child is born, or anytime following the birth of the child. If the latter route is taken, they receive the same five-day right of withdrawal.

In cases where the birth father is unknown or cannot be located, he is given a thirty-day period following the child's birth to step forward and claim paternity. At the end of thirty days, the court considers that he has given consent to the adoption, and his rights are then terminated.

2) The law deals strictly with the passing of money between those parties involved in the adoption. Heavy penalties are levied against individuals, including birth parents, attorneys, agencies, and prospective adoptive parents, who do not follow the financial guidelines set by the code. All fees must be submitted to the court for approval. These fees must be reasonable and directly related to the specific expenses of the adoption in question.

Because Alabama's adoption code is so concise, it is rare that couples ever experience the adoption tragedies commonly heard of in other states.
 

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Even as a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I personally hate to see people get divorced. For the children of parents going through a divorce, for the other family members and even for the couple’s friends and neighbors, it’s a very difficult and stressful time. But there are instances when I have no qualms about recommending divorce and that is where domestic violence is involved. I cannot tolerate spousal abuse, and I’m certain every thinking person out there cannot either.

Did you know that each year, nearly four million women are physically assaulted by their partner in the United States? That’s an awful statistic, and worthy of some serious thought. While most divorces have more to do with some form of incompatibility, a fair number are in response to violence. Of course, domestic violence doesn’t always have to be physical in nature. I’ve represented more than a few clients whose spouses used a psychological approach to antagonize and abuse their wife, or husband.

Every week we hear news stories of physical violence that can arise during a marriage, but even afterward the abuser can reach out to the victim again and again. Recently, I ran across a positive story of a domestic abuse survivor who says that in sharing her story, she hopes to keep others from having the same fate as many tragic victims of domestic violence. This woman was physically attacked by her abuser, who literally was trying to kill her.

The television report provided important warnings on how other victims can hopefully avoid a similar situation. For instance, they advise that one should never meet with their abuser in private. Seemingly innocent excuses can be a smokescreen meant to fool the victim into meeting, such as asking a former spouse to stop by to feed a family pet. It can be a dangerous lure.

Bottom line: When it comes to domestic abuse, avoid all contact with the other party -- take advantage of caller ID and simply don’t answer the phone when he calls. And if you’re not certain how to start, by all means contact an experienced family law attorney to find out your rights and how to legally protect yourself and your children.

Surviving Domestic Violence, NBCAugusta.com, June 22, 2009

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