Birmingham Divorce Lawyer: Common Errors Women Should Avoid when Going Through Divorce in Alabama -- Part 1

Whether you live in Bessemer, Homewood, Huntsville or Gadsden, Alabama, any woman considering divorce should be aware of the many pitfalls out there. As a Birmingham family law and divorce attorney, my job is to help guide my clients through what can be a very emotional and taxing time. Legal separation or divorce should always be approached with a eyes wide open, which is why I suggest a few things to avoid during this critical period.

While not an exhaustive list by any means, the following are some important points that every woman should keep in mind. As always, you should consult with an Alabama divorce lawyer to be sure all aspects of you’re individual circumstances are fully addressed. In coming weeks I’ll discuss a few more points.

1)
You must face the actual realities of a divorce. Since one partner or the other spouse is usually further along the emotional road to divorce, the one who is leaving the relationship may already be gone emotionally. This means that the other partner is typically expected to catch up with this early end to their marital dream while at the same time trying to get a hold of their emotional and financial future. Many times this is too much to absorb in a short time, but ignoring reality can be rather costly.

If the husband is the one leaving the relationship, the woman is more often left to address the pain of emotional betrayal while their soon-to-be-former marital partner is busy addressing what many see as the next level of betrayal that of the family finances. The answer here is to find a competent therapist or a reliable shoulder on which to cry. Do your best to “compartmentalize” as much of the emotional aspect of your pain in order to act quickly and deliberately to protect your assets.

2)
Understand that you may, in fact, be sleeping with the enemy. When we marry our future spouse, we tend to transfer all of our trust to that person -- the one we fell in love with. In most marriages, one spouse typically handles the finances while the other handles day-to-day household operations, such as feeding the kids and taking them to soccer practice and dance recitals.

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Alabama Divorce News: Elizabeth and John Edwards Separate following Affair and Child with Rielle Hunter

By now most everyone in Alabama, from Montgomery County to Mobile and all around the state, has heard the news of Elizabeth and John Edwards’ separation following the husband's not-so-secret affair that destroyed the couple’s marriage of 32 years. Elizabeth Edwards announced that she is separated from the former presidential hopeful and plans to move on with her life by putting such a difficult and hurtful event behind her. Can divorce be far behind for these two?

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, this kind of scenario plays out across Alabama every year, so it’s no surprise that even the rich and famous get caught in the infidelity game more often than not. As for Edwards, her story is doubly sad due to her previous diagnosis of stage four breast cancer. Whatever the circumstances, the cheating spouse usually makes a mistake along the way that exposes him or her to the light of day.

On more than one occasion, I myself have been asked by potential clients what they should do if and when they suspect their spouse is cheating. There are a couple things that someone can do when contemplating a divorce of a spouse who might be having an affair on the side.

For starters, one must definitely think about retaining a private investigator to do some research into suspicious activities. In Alabama, having proof that a spouse has been cheating may have a direct affect on the property settlement in a divorce case. Fault grounds can also affect the amount of alimony the court grants to the injured party.

Furthermore, depending on whether the couple has children who were affected by the offending spouse’s conduct, this too may influence the court’s determination when it comes to custody of the kids.

A second and equally important step would be to have yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). While this can be a difficult thing to face, it is very important for your own well-being and peace of mind. The sooner you find out if you have contracted an STD, the sooner you can be treated if necessary.

If you have been diagnosed with an STD, this can also significantly affect the direction fo the divorce proceedings and may be the basis of additional legal claims against the offending spouse. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is invaluable in any legal separation or divorce action and will be able to advise you on this and other issues connected with your case.


How He Got Caught, Slate.com, January 29, 2010


 

Birmingham Divorce Attorney Update: When Divorcing in Alabama, What should You Tell Your Kids

How much information is too much information? Going through a divorce in Alabama can be a difficult journey. Regardless of whether you live in Mobile, Birmingham, Huntsville or any of the hundreds of cities and towns across the state, the subject of divorce or legal separation can be a minefield. Spouses who are splitting up have a hard enough time discussing details with family and friends, but what of the children? How much should you share with them, if anything?

As a Birmingham Divorce Attorney practicing throughout Alabama, I have seen it all when it comes to separation and divorce. I feel the heartbreak and sense the hard feelings that can arise during this kind of life-changing event. But my knowledge and years of experience have given me the tools to help my clients make it through one of the toughest times of their life.

For sure, one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is the effect it can have on children. Divorce can be extremely trying especially where kids are involved. In many instances, my clients confide in me by asking how they should break the news to their children. Quite often, they don’t even know how they should act or behave toward their kids once a divorce has been finalized.

Of course, it can be difficult to take your children’s needs into account during the process of a divorce in Alabama. There are many and varied aspects to the process including Spousal support, division of assets, and guardianship.

If you are considering divorce, or know someone who is going through or contemplating such an action, you may want to keep the following items in mind regarding the younger members of the household. Children need and have the right to the following, especially in times of family upheaval:

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Birmingham Family Law Update: Understanding No-fault Divorce in Alabama

Last week I discussed an approach to achieving a mutual divorce settlement vis-à-vis No-fault divorce. As a Birmingham divorce attorney who has represented dozens of individuals going through what must be one of the most difficult times in any married person’s life, I can say that cooperation is one of the best ways to make a divorce proceeding go smoothly.

Frankly, in Alabama or anywhere else for that matter, separation and divorce can be life-altering events that tear at the hearts and emotions of the spouses affected, not to mention their families and even friends. Maintaining a cool approach, as hard as it may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself at this difficult time.

Previously, I talked about how to make the process work. Here, I’m going to review the “mechanics” of a No-fault divorce here in Alabama. Before I start, I’ll remind folks again that it is essential for both parties to avoid any hostile or accusatorial tone if they wish the divorce process to go smoothly. Stay calm and you will have a much better opportunity to settle your differences and move on with your separate lives.

As for the legal grounds for an Alabama No-fault divorce includes the following:

  1. An incompatibility of temperament that results in the two parties’ inability to live together
  2. An irreversible and permanent breakdown of the marital union, which makes any attempts at reconciliation either impractical, futile, or not in the best interests of the two spouses or the family in general
  3. The voluntary abandonment by one of the spouses from bed and board for one year preceding the filing of the divorce complaint

To initiate a No-fault divorce in Alabama, one of the above reasons must be specified on a state document (Complaint for Divorce) and filed with the court. Following this, and having agreed to avoid personal attacks and accusations, the two parties should be ready and willing to accept the legal reasons for a No-fault divorce. Now it is time to meet with your individual attorneys to discuss the details of the marriage dissolution.

After accepting the reasons for the divorce, both spouses should be prepared to discuss three specific areas that must be addressed and agreed to before the dissolution of the marriage. These areas include the following:

 

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Birmingham Divorce Update: Is There Such a Thing as a Pleasant Alabama Divorce?

One of the more frequent causes of divorce can usually be summed up in one word: Incompatibility. As a divorce lawyer practicing in the Birmingham area, I can say that many divorces are the result of an unpleasant or contentious marital relationship. However, this doesn’t mean that the divorce process or the court proceedings surrounding it must necessarily be fraught with acrimony and bitterness.

While the primary job of a divorce and family law attorney is to fight for his or her client’s best interests, it is important that a lawyer also be compassionate and provide a buffer between the client and the other party. Nothing is gained by getting angry during a divorce action, so this is always something to keep in mind.

Now the question I will pose here is, can there be any such thing as a  friendly divorce? Fortunately for many people, the answer is yes. Because Alabama is a No-Fault (also known as uncontested) divorce state, regardless of whether you live in large cities such as Birmingham and Montgomery, or any of the other smaller cities and towns throughout Alabama, an individual can usually obtain a divorce without too many legal complications.

There is a caveat here: you and your spouse must agree to the terms of the divorce in an amicable and friendly manner. This is critical as any history of domestic violence in a marital relationship could easily derail a friendly divorce and could even make things worse. Therefore, if there is a history of domestic violence it is highly recommended that you retain professional legal counsel when pursuing a No-Fault divorce in Alabama.

Once you and your spouse realize the marriage is over, and if you can get past that initial shock and anger of realizing there is no going back, then you may have a chance to honestly look at a No-Fault divorce for your situation.

This can only happen if both parties act in a mature and responsible manner. Try to keep things on a friendly basis, because these is no reason for anything hostile or antagonistic to happen during this time. A key here is to avoid resurrecting the reasons why you are getting a divorce in the first place. Keep it civil and your chances of getting through the proceedings will improve dramatically.

Frankly speaking, if your differences are irreconcilable, then these individual reasons will only be impediments to achieving an amicable and “friendly” resolution. Keeping this in mind and seeking the services of a qualified and experienced family law and divorce attorney will help you get through the divorce and on to a new and better life for yourself and your family.

Alabama Divorce and Family Law News: Sarah Palin's Grandson in Middle of Child Custody Battle

A fight over child custody can be a painful and wrenching experience for any family. As an Alabama family law attorney and divorce lawyer in the Birmingham area, I have seen the emotional torrent that swirls around all parties in hotly contested custody battles. In the case of former vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin’s grandson, Tripp, hopefully the child’s young age will at least spare him from most of the drama.

Recently, news agencies have been talking about the latest saga of Bristol Palin and her former boyfriend and fiancée, Levi Johnston. According to reports, Johnston has been on a so-called campaign against Alaska’s former “first family” by revealing a variety of family secrets.

Regarding the recent custody case over young Tripp, public records from an Alaskan court have revealed a heated battle between Palin's daughter and the father of her grandson. Bristol Palin had asked the court to keep the proceedings closed, but that request was denied a Superior Court judge -- a temporary order had authorized the use of pseudonyms while the court was considering the request, which stated that no good "could result to the child by an onslaught of media."

Johnston’s stance was that he didn’t feel protected against Sarah Palin in a closed setting. The father of one-year-old Tripp had been pushing for open court proceedings, saying he just wanted a simple case based on its merit. A qualified family law attorney can be a great asset in cases not unlike this one

According to news articles, Bristol Palin had petitioned the court in early November last year, asking for sole custody as well as child support. The petition also requested a visitation schedule for Johnston, saying that the former fiance had exercised "sporadic visitation rights."

The eldest daughter of Sarah Palin, Bristol Palin's custody petition called Johnston's recent nude photo shoot for Playgirl magazine "risque." She also noted that the man’s mother, Sherry Johnston, should not be allowed unsupervised visits with the baby following her drug arrest. Sherry Johnston, who is reportedly serving a three-year sentence under home confinement, was again sentenced last month on a guilty plea to one count of possession with intent to deliver the painkiller OxyContin.

In a motion opposing closed proceedings, Johnston's attorney argued that Bristol Palin had not shown what sort of evidence could stigmatize the child. The lawyer said that the Palin-Johnston case has similar facts that accompany open child custody cases every day in the Alaskan court system.

 

Bristol Palin seeks full custody of baby, MSN.com, December 29, 2009

Birmingham Divorce Update: Steps Toward an Alabama Divorce -- Part Two

Divorce can be a painful and life-altering event for most married people, especially if children are involved. In my last entry, I discussed a few of the initial steps when moving toward divorce in Alabama. For most individuals, going through a legal separation or divorce can be a very emotional time.

As a divorce lawyer with a Birmingham family law practice, I recommend that people in the throes of divorce attempt to avoid emotionality as much as possible. Though it is difficult, keeping a cool head is highly desirable when going through such a serious legal process as divorce. The following is the second part of my discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

One of the initial steps in kicking off the formal divorce procedure is the creation of a complaint (or petition) requesting a divorce, which is filed by one or the other spouse. Once the petition is filed, the other spouse must file an answer in kind -- this is that spouse’s “response.” The petition usually includes items such as requests for temporary orders regarding custody of the couple’s children (if any) and visitation, alimony and, or in addition to, child support payments. It is not uncommon that the petitioning spouse will request the other to pay his or her lawyer costs.

Following the petition, the next step is for your attorney to undertake legal discovery. Just as in any law suit, this is done to obtain information pertinent to the divorce. This information will help determine the amount of spousal and/or child support, as well as attorney fees that you may be required to pay -- or the amount that you will receive.

Depending on your particular circumstances, retaining the services of a forensic accountant can be very helpful when searching for your spouse’s potentially hidden assets. This kind of accountant can also assist in analyzing your overall debts and assets. Others professionals involved in this process may include CPAs, appraiser and tax advisors, who can help you become aware of the tax implications and other potential risks of hanging onto or giving up property.

Prior to the commencement of settlement negotiations, it is wise to know what items you want the agreement to cover. Being able to understand the various tax consequences or other financial issues tied to each offer and counteroffer made during the negotiations is critical to a successful outcome. This is why having a qualified divorce lawyer on your side during these negotiations makes a great deal of sense.

As an unemotional advocate, an attorney can make the entire process much easier. As I have said before, keeping any possible anger out of the negotiations may help you avoid the possibility of a trial. Since divorce trials can be rather expensive for both of the spouses, this is something you should steer clear of if at all possible.

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Birmingham Divorce Update: Steps toward an Alabama Divorce -- Part One

Here in Alabama, as elsewhere across the country, divorce is a serious step for any married person. From a personal point of view, separation or divorce is a truly emotional event. From a legal standpoint the process of divorce is fairly well defined, although the steps toward the final divorce decree will vary due to individual circumstances.

As a Birmingham divorce lawyer and family law attorney, I tell my clients to try to remain as cool and collected as possible. While emotions can run quite high, this is a legal process and you will benefit from keeping your feelings in check as much as possible as you follow the advice of your attorney. The following is the first of a two-part discussion on the process of divorcing in Alabama.

As previously mentioned, very few divorces follow the exact same steps, but whichever direction your particular situation takes you, it is always wise to seek professional help as early as possible. A qualified divorce attorney can guide you along the way. Other professionals who can be of great assistance in these trying times include therapists and financial advisors.

Your most important resource will be your attorney, which makes choosing one a critical process in itself. First and foremost, you need to learn about your legal rights as they pertain to an Alabama divorce. A lawyer well versed in this state’s divorce and family law is your best choice and he or she will be able to clearly explain the details regarding separation, spousal support and alimony, child custody and visitation, as well as guardianship, child support and future division of assets.

The first step is financial. Here you must gather all of your financial documents. Be sure to make a copy of all paperwork that you have collected and present this information to your attorney. At this point, you will be able to learn what the financial impact of a separation will have on you and your children, if any. It is important to understand that while some couples have the means to physically separate, other unfortunately cannot, which may mean taking up residence in different parts of the same house.

An essential part of the financial evaluation is making the determination of which debts were incurred before the separation, as well as after. This should include any shared bills paid and improvements, if any, made to common property during the separation. You should also use this time to update your insurance coverage if any of those improvements added value to your property.

At this point you should decide whether or not you and your spouse will be filing your taxes jointly, or separately. Next time, I’ll talk about the other steps leading to a divorce or legal separation.
 

Alabama Divorce News: Tiger Woods' Wife Rumored to be Talking to Divorce Attorney

In the recent maelstrom of mistress allegations, Tiger Woods may be headed to divorce court if the gossip pages are correct. As a Birmingham divorce and family law attorney, I have first-hand experience with divorce and separation cases involving infidelity in a marriage. While Mr. Woods’ situation is perhaps more extreme than most, the result -- a wife deciding to consult a divorce lawyer -- is nothing new in my profession.

Revelations of a single or as in this case multiple affairs can quickly push a marriage toward divorce or, at best, legal separation. Sports figures, entertainers and other personalities can sometimes be more prone to marital troubles than the rest of us, it’s a big let down to those who revere these high-profile names.

In this case, according to various news reports, Elin Nordegren is planning to divorce the fallen golf icon. That piece of information came from a source, who recently spoke to People magazine, adding that Nordegren has “made up her mind." More damning is the reports from the New York Daily News, which reported that the 29-year-old Nordegren and husband Tiger would be “going their separate ways for the holidays.”

The article says that the former model will be heading to Sweden with the couple’s two children, while Woods will be staying home. According to reports, the golfer is looking for a “safe harbor” and waiting for the storm to settle. He reportedly will be spending the holidays with two or three of his male friends.

Reports also state that a friend of Woods claims the golf great had likely cheated on Nordegren with more than the dozen or so women who have already emerged since Thanksgiving. The latest news reports allege that Woods wired thousands of dollars every month to several women, with one receiving up to $20,000 a month, according to MSNBC.

 

Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren ready for divorce: report, NYDailyNews.com, December 16, 2009

 

Alabama Divorce News: Visitation Schedules can be Flexible in the Eyes of the Court

As a Birmingham, AL, divorce lawyer and family law attorney I get many questions from clients regarding all aspects of divorce, separation, child custody and other divorce-related topics. This is a difficult time for all parties in a divorce, but there are some key topics that concern many a spouse and parent affected by legal separation and especially divorce, namely visitation rights.

What is Standard Visitation?
Depending on where you live in Alabama, you may have questions on what is standard visitation for any minor children involved in a divorce. While the custodial parent has little concern in this area, in my experience shows that the non-custodial parent is the one who is almost always anxious about the court’s decision regarding visitation.

In theory, most domestic relations and/or juvenile court judges have very wide latitude when it comes to visitation schedules. In fact, the court usually decides on a case-by-case basis what is best for the children. Depending on the facts and circumstances, the visitation schedule for one couple can be very different from that of another.

While there exist visitation guidelines, it is widely understood that most judges settle on their own “standard visitation” schedules, which they place in their orders. Because each judge has rather wide discretion to fashion a special visitation schedule for a particular couple, the parties going through the divorce should be prepared for certain deviations. This is why it is always advisable to retain the services of a qualified divorce and family law attorney.

It is also important to note that even the final order can vary slightly from the basic order. For instance, in one jurisdiction a Wednesday night could maybe be added if the parties ask for it, but the court may not allow much more that that, in spite of any agreements between the two parties. However in an adjoining county, you may well find that a Wednesday night is already part of the standard order.

In the end, divorcing parents will find that cooperation is the best approach when it comes to visitation. This is because the visitation order usually only applies when the parties cannot agree on their own schedule -- serving as a minimum allotment of time for the non-custodial parent to get his or her share of visitation. But if you both can agree on your a mutual schedule, then your are free to create and follow that no matter what the judge’s order states.